Navigating After
by buffy46143
Summary: Quinn and Santana attempt to navigate their lives after their Valentine's Day hook-up. Quinntana
1. Chapter 1

I woke up to an empty bed and after rubbing my eyes as if to remove the morning after haze that had my brain running in circles, I looked again to the vacant spot next to me. The night before had been rushed and messy and exciting and full of want and need. I knew it wasn't going to be a thing now. I guess I just wasn't expecting her to be gone before I even woke up.

After round two, which I initiated, she had fallen asleep and I couldn't seem to keep my eyes closed. I decided that it wasn't fair that she could sleep so easily while I lay there wondering what was going to happen come morning. I guess I just figured that if this was a one-night affair, I might as well take advantage of it. She was lying on her back with one of her arms over her stomach and the other draped over the side of the bed. The sheet was just above her chest and as I rolled onto my side facing her, I pulled it down slowly so as not to wake her just yet. Luckily, the room was tepid or she would have felt an immediate chill.

I slid my hand down slowly between her legs. I hovered slightly over her as her breath hitched, but she still slept. I smiled as I took in her face. She really was beautiful. In all these years, I don't think I had ever really thought about it. My hand moved down as one of my fingers met her most sensitive spot. My breath hitched in that moment and I realized she was still wet from round two, which had taken place over an hour before. I was more confident than I had been when we had started this drunken evening. I was 100% sober by this point and I knew there was a chance she'd push my hand away, but I didn't care. I slid my finger around as she began shifting her body and I noticed her breathing had picked up its speed. I started to match it, moving my finger faster while I added another. I continued to watch her as her eyes remained closed despite the fact that she was very much awake when I slid two fingers inside her and moved myself so I was at a better angle and could begin moving them against her.

I leaned in and pressed my lips to her shoulder as I began kissing up to her earlobe. I decided that wasn't enough and I moved my body on top of hers' while kissing her neck and chest. I wanted to spend more time meeting every part of her body with my mouth, but the throbbing between my legs along with the feeling her body was giving against my fingers forced me to move quickly down to where by body was telling me it wanted to go. I look one last look up at her still closed eyes as her chest rose and fell. Her hand found the top of my head just as my tongue found her clit and starting working against it.

"Fuck!" I heard her announce loudly to the people in the next room who share a wall with this one. "God, you're good at that."

I flicked her clit one way and then the other while my fingers picked up their pace yet again. I was determined to make her feel everything since this would be our last time.

"Come up here." Her hand pulled on my hair enough to register, but not enough to hurt. I paused the efforts with my mouth, but not my fingers.

"I'm kind of busy right now." My tongue moved up and back down as I heard her quietly moan.

"I… fuck… I want you up here."

"Do you not want me to keep doing this?" I sucked her clit into my mouth and pulsed my tongue quickly against it. I felt her walls begin to clench around my fingers. I know she's close

"I want to touch you."

I looked up and met her now open eyes.

"Then, maybe you should have woken up and gone down on me."

My fingers pushed deeper and curled inside her as I felt her back arch off the bed. Her hips lifted themselves up and I moved my mouth back down to help her make this feeling last as long as possible. I slowed my movements and removed my fingers realizing that this was the last time I'd do that. I registered a feeling at that moment, but I didn't have a chance to pinpoint what it was before she was pulling me up to face her. She kissed my deeply before pulling away and smiling up at me.

"That's the best possible way to get woken up in the middle of the night."

Her arm wrapped around my neck as she pulled me in for another deep kiss, but not before dragging her tongue across my lower lip so I'd open my mouth for her. I felt her other hand move down my back and around to my stomach. I knew where she was headed and as much as I wanted her inside me again, I wanted this part to last longer. I pulled back ungracefully and sat up straddling her.

"What's wrong?" She asked with a look of panic on her now adorable face.

"Nothing. Sorry. I just…"

She leaned in and used her elbows to hold herself up.

"Did I do something?"

"No. You didn't do anything."

"Do you not want me too… cause earlier I thought… you seemed to like it. It seemed like you…"

"Oh, I did. Both times." I moved off of her and sat next to her instead. She sat up fully and looked into my eyes trying to read my expression. Truthfully, even I didn't know what she would find there. I wanted to continue. I wanted her hands all over my body, but I needed to pull myself away for some reason.

"Tell me what's wrong. You woke me up to do that and when I go to touch you, you pull away."

"It's not like that."

"Then, what's it like?"

"I just wanted to do that to you before this whole, crazy night is over. I didn't earlier so I wanted to now."

She smiled.

"And?"

"And I'm very happy I did." I leaned in and kissed her gently before lying on my back. She laid back on her side facing me with her hand holding up her head. Her free hand found its way to my stomach and a solo finger moved its way from the valley between my breasts down to my belly button, which it then circled slowly as her eyes met mine.

"Are we going to be okay?"

I looked from the finger to her eyes trying to capture the emotion behind them and store it in my brain. She was so rarely like this. We had gotten into this pattern where we say we're friends, but we end up fighting most of the time and not talking the rest. We'd been through a lot together over the years, but most of the stuff we'd been through we'd shared more with others than with each other. We're just so similar sometimes that we see our flaws in the other and opt to push them away to avoid having to confront what we least like about ourselves. It's a complicated thing to have a best friend that is both so like you and so different at the same time.

On her face now was genuine concern not laced with sarcasm or disdain.

"We'll be fine." I assured her as I took my hand and it met the one she had since placed gently on my stomach. My fingers interlaced with hers' and she continued to stare down at me inquisitively.

"Are you sure because we didn't exactly think this through and I know it's not going to be a thing after tonight, but we're in a good place now, I think and I'm just worried that maybe…"

"You regret it?" Now I was worried.

"What? No. I don't regret anything that happened tonight. I'm glad this happened. I mean, I know we were drunk at first, but I don't think that's why this happened."

"I guess not." I chuckled lightly, which caused her to smile at me.

"So, why do _you_ think it happened?"

That was a loaded question. I hesitated for a moment before leaning up to kiss her on the forehead and launching myself hastily out of the bed.

"I'm going to hop in the shower."

She looked at me from her spot on the bed and her eyes followed me as I walked toward the bathroom.

"It's like 4 in the morning."

"Is there a rule that says I can't shower at 4am?"

"No, but there is a rule that says you're stupid for turning down sex with me."

I turned to face her as I walked backwards toward the bathroom door.

"I don't recall turning you down at all and I definitely don't recall saying I wanted to shower alone."

And with that, she was rushing toward me.

I reached for the bottle of water on the bedside table and took a long drink before finally standing to stretch. I located various articles of my clothing on the floor and picked them up before shoving them unceremoniously into my suitcase. After my things, but more importantly myself, I took one last look around the room. The bed was still muffled with sheets half on the floor and pillows nowhere near where they belong. I noticed my cell charger still hooked into the wall behind the dresser. I grabbed it and shoved it into my purse when something caught my eye. Hotel stationary with an uncapped pen rested atop the dresser neither of us had used. I looked closer and noticed her handwriting.

_I had to meet my mom for brunch because that's a thing that old people do. I didn't want to wake you because you had that leave me the fuck alone face while you slept. Text me when you wake up._

I smiled at her mention of my "leave me the fuck alone" face. She wasn't wrong about that one and I felt a sense of calm rush over me at the realization that she hadn't left me in a room after a drunken and later sober hook up. I wasn't just one more notch on the belt of Santana Lopez after all.

I thought about texting her right away, but I had a flight to catch. I only came back for the wedding and since that was a bust, it was time to get back to Yale. Every time I come back to Lima, it's different and the same. These little over night or weekend visits are fine every now and then, but the truth is that there's nothing really here for me anymore. I don't know what life after college holds for me yet, but I know I'm not returning to Ohio.

The flight back was short and uneventful, which was nice given my little adventure the night before. The closet sized dorm room I shared with my roommate was vacant. Jenna's in the process of pledging a sorority, which meant she was rarely in our room. It gave me some much needed space and study time with only the occasional 3am loud drunken girl entrance where she does the thing where she thinks she's whispering instead of loudly whispering and tries to avoid bumping into the desks, but runs right into it instead.

I flopped onto my twin bed without pulling back the covers and fell immediately asleep. It was my phone that woke me up with a text message notification. I reluctantly reached down to my purse, which was at the foot of the bed and pulled it out to see who it was.

Santana: Where are you?

Me: I'm in my dorm.

Santana: You're at Yale? I thought your flight was tonight.

Me: It was at 2.

Santana: Did you get my note?

Me: Yeah, thanks for that. I was worried you ran out on me for a minute.

Santana: I'd never run out on you, Q. Other girls, yes. Not you though.

I smiled at that and my thumbs hovered over the keyboard not knowing how to respond.

Santana: We're still good, right?

Me: Yes, we're still good. I just don't see the point in hanging out in Lima any longer than I have too.

Santana: I feel ya on that one. I'm out of here tomorrow morning. Only here now to hang with my mom.

Me: What about Brit? You hanging with her?

Santana: Nah. She and I are okay now. She's happy. We'll always be friends.

Me: That's mature of you.

Santana: I guess we're all growing up.

Me: You know, you could just call me instead of texting back and forth like this.

Santana: I can't now. I'm shopping with my mom. Mom/daughter bonding time or something. My flight gets into NYC around 10. I can call you when I get back to the loft.

Me: You don't have too. I just thought it would be easier than text after text.

Santana: Calling you isn't a chore, Q. I mean you annoy me most of the time, but on the phone I can always hang up.

Me: Bitch.

Santana: That's me. My mom's looking at me like she's about to stab me with her eyes and I do believe that is a superpower she has so I should put my phone away. Tomorrow?

Me: Yeah, and tell your mom I said hi.

Santana: Should I tell her what we did last night?

Me: I'll leave that one up to you.

I was studying when my phone rang and Santana's picture popped up. I put the book I was reading down in my lap and sat back further against my pillow as I answered.

"Hey, did you get in okay?"

"Yeah, flight was delayed a little, but other than that…"

She must have been moving something because I could hear rustling in the background.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Putting my suitcase on my bed in my curtained off area of this shit hole apartment."

"Santana, it's not a shit hole."

"Whatever, but it would be nice to have actual walls."

"So, move out."

"You've been to New York what twice, Fabray? Have you ever tried to find an affordable apartment in this city?"

"Hey, don't get all bitchy with me. I'm just making a suggestion. If you don't like where you live, find something else and use that money your mom gave you that was supposed to be used for college."

"I feel a lecture coming on, Q. That's got you bordering on annoying."

"So, hang up."

There was a moment of silence, but I knew she wasn't hanging up on me. Santana meant the things she said some of the time, but most of the time, I got the feeling she just like showing off her quick wit.

"I working on my life right now."

"I know."

"College didn't work out and then Brit and I didn't work out and now I'm here."

"I know."

"Stop saying you know." Her tone told me I had moved from bordering on annoying to full on annoying.

"San, I'm not judging you or telling you what to do. Do what you want. Just be happy. And it wasn't college that didn't work out. It was just that particular school at that particular time. You're allowed to change you mind when you're 19."

"So, you think I should go to a different school?"

"I think you should do what you think will get you going where you want to go."

"Vague that one up for me a little more, Q."

"Since when do you care so much about what I think?"

"I've always cared about what you think, Quinn. Why do you think we fight all the time?"

"I guess that's true."

"The guy in the apartment across the hall told me he's moving in with his girlfriend. It's a studio too, but it's smaller and it would just be for me."

"Do you think you can get it?"

"I don't know. This is the first I'm really thinking about it. I know it's not on the market yet. They've been doing the whole trial living together thing."

"Why don't you see if you can sublet it from him? That way if they break up, he'd still have his place and you'd still be able to move back in with Rachel and Kurt."

"God, leave that part out if you're trying to sell me on this plan."

"It's just an idea, San. Do what you want with it."

"You know I will. I always do what I want."

"Trust me. I know."

There was a pause on her end. I shifted the book to the foot of the bed and sat up recognizing this pause as an awkward one.

"Are we going to talk about it?"

"We can if you want."

"Come on, Q. You know you want to process this thing over and over and over again."

"I told you I'm good, San. I don't need to process anything."

"Liar."

"Fine. You tell me. What am I supposed to be processing?" I put the phone on speaker and got up to slide the book back on the tiny shelf above my desk.

"I just… I don't know. Before we went up to your room, it was nice. I mean the stuff in your room was nice too."

"Gee thanks." I laughed as I plopped back down.

"You know what I mean."

"Yes, I do."

"I've just missed having a best friend, Q. Brit and I will always be in each other's lives, but it's going to be different now. Not just because of the break up, but because we're very different people with very different places to go and people to see. She'll probably end up on tour after tour with the hottest pop star at the time and I'm staying here. I'm sure she'll visit from time to time and I'll go to a show or whatever to see her dance, but it'll never be how it was."

"I get it. It's weird now that we're all in different places. I don't mean just physically."

"I'm starting to get some separation from the whole thing now. I think she was my first love. She'll always be special to me because of that, ya know?"

"Not really. I mean, I get what you're saying, but I've never really had that so it's kind of foreign to me."

"Of all the guys you dated…"

"I don't think I've ever really been in love. I'm 19 so it's not like I'm behind or anything. I just haven't felt that yet. I'm not really looking for it right now. I'm kind of focused on other things right now instead of finding a relationship to occupy my time and cause drama."

"Yeah, you do love those dramatic relationships, huh?"

"That was high school me. College me dated a professor for a while before realizing that was stupid. So, that's over. Then college me hooked up with my best friend at my old teacher's failed attempt at a wedding while she was still trying to get over her ex."

I didn't mean to say that last part out loud.

"Hey, that's not what it was about. You know that, right?"

"It's okay San. We were both working through things. Mostly we were working through the free booze our fake IDs got us."

"Q, it's not like that. I'll admit it's complicated given our history and you're previous straightness or current straightness or whatever, but it had nothing to do with Brit on my end. I promise."

"Okay."

"Do you believe me?"

"Yes, I believe you."

"You're lying again."

"It doesn't really matter. I was one night, right?"

"That's what you said you wanted."

"Is it what you want?"

"This is stupid, Q. I hate this passive aggressive crap. Let's just get it all out in the open so I can unpack and do laundry and you can go back to reading whatever nerdy book you were reading."

"Fine."

"You're at Yale. I'm in New York."

"True."

"I work on the weekends… at least for right now. You're in school all week."

"Truth number two."

"You're straight. I'm not."

"Well, I don't really know how to classify myself now given the givens."

"You said it was a one time thing."

"Yes, but as you recall that turned into a three time thing."

"Do you want it to be a four time thing?"

"No."

"Then, why are we even talking about this?"

"I don't mean no like that. I mean… you're my only one night stand. Well, Puck was technically, but I'm not counting that. Let's just go with life after high school for this conversation since that's all that matters now. I don't want a four time thing because I don't want one more night or just one night with anyone. I'm focusing on school right now, but if I do meet someone, I want a relationship; not a hook up."

"Can you see yourself in a relationship with me?"

"That's a hard question to answer."

"Why?"

"It just is, San."

"Q, talk to me."

"I don't know, Santana. I never thought of you like that before the other night. I never thought about being with a girl before the other night. I missed you in my life before that night and now I don't know if what I'm feeling is because I missed you as friend Santana or if because of what happened, that's somehow changed."

"Q, I can't lose you."

"Then, let's just stop talking about this."

"I don't want it to be like that. We can't just forget it happened and I don't want to anyway. I want us to be able to talk about it and have it be okay."

"How many times do I have to tell you that it is okay? I am okay. We can talk about what happened and why it happened, but there's no point in talking about it leading to anything. Neither of us is really in that place right now."

"Yeah, okay. I guess I get it."

I heard something on the other end of the line I couldn't identify.

"What was that?"

"The door. Rachel's back. I should probably go."

"Yeah, okay. I should be studying anyway."

"We'll talk again soon."

"Bye, San."

"Bye, Q."

After that call, things got back to normal. I went to class and studied and went to parties like a normal college student. Santana and I talked almost weekly, but sometimes we got busy. We'd catch up on the next call though and it was nice having my friend back in my life even if it was only by technology and not in person.

By March, I was preparing for midterms and Santana was preparing to move into the place across the hall from Rachel and Kurt. Turns out, subletting was the way to go even if it was slightly illegal according to the lease. Like Santana said, she always does what she wants.

She had gone on a couple of dates and told me about them. Neither had gone well. I had gone on a couple of dates with the same guy before telling him it wasn't going anywhere. He's a senior and is about to graduate and go to Northwestern for law school. No point in starting something I can't finish. I told Santana about him and she agreed that it was the smart decision no matter how nice the guy was. By April, I was starting to get nervous. Summer was approaching and that meant a three month stay in Lima. It was pretty much the last place I wanted to be, but I didn't want to stay on an abandoned campus for three months either. I decided not to think about that until finals since I had enough to worry about with study groups and projects to finish. I was also trying to line up a job or internship for sophomore year and that was turning into quite the quest. My chats with Santana had grown fewer and farther between and I missed talking to her, but our friendship had been difficult when we lived in the same town. It's even harder now that we're in different states. I was hoping she'd be heading back to Lima for the summer as well, but why would she when she has a life in New York now?

I picked up the phone and sent a quick text before calling it quits on my internship/job search for the night.

Me: Long time no talk. I was thinking about a visit before school ends. I could use a break.

Santana: Here or there?

Me: There. Your place, I mean. My place has another person in it.

Santana: Have I mentioned how much I love living alone?

Me: Yeah, yeah. I'm getting an off campus apartment next semester. My mom's already put down the security deposit.

Santana: Then I'll visit you next semester. When can you get here?

Me: After my last class Friday morning I'm pretty much free.

Santana: Okay. I have to work on Saturday night, but I'm free the rest of the weekend. I'm sure Berry and Lady Hummel would like to see you too.

Me: I'll look up the train times and let you know when I'm coming.

Santana: It seems like forever since I've actually seen you.

Me: I know.

Santana: So get here already.

I laughed and tossed my phone on the bed.


	2. Chapter 2

I own nothing.

Santana's POV:

This subway station reeks of boozy, homeless people. There are days I love living in New York and then there are days like today. Days when I think back to what it was like having my own car and driving wherever I wanted instead of having to get off work at 3 in the morning and then having to take a morning extension class at NYADA, which is why I'm standing here now listening to my IPod in an attempt to drown out the saxophone music being played by some street musician. All I want to do right now is curl up in my own bed and sleep for the next 24 hours.

The subway arrives and I quickly find a seat before they fill up. This time of day it's usually not too busy, but my body is telling me I need to sit. After 8 hours behind the bar and another 2 dancing and then walking to the station, my legs felt like they were about to fall off.

When we started moving, I glanced up and it was then that I saw her. She was sitting with her nose in a book. Her sunglasses were pushed up on her head atop her long, blonde hair. Yeah, I definitely have a type. She looked like she had a nice body beneath her spring jacket, but it was hard to tell since she also had her purse in her lap. I tried to get her to look up at me, but her attention was on that damn book. I didn't know why I cared so much, but there was something about this girl that made me want her to look up and notice that I existed. The seats next to her were both taken so I couldn't just move over there. That might appear creepy anyway. I didn't really want to just start chatting her up from across a semi-crowded subway car and for all I know, this girl was straight with a boyfriend. I didn't see a ring on her finger so at least that was a good sign. While I was trying to size her up to determine if she played for my team, the car came to a slow and then stopped. She stood without even looking up from her book and she walked out of the car and into the station. I thought for a moment about following her out, but decided against it. Then, I rethought it and jumped out of my seat. Just as I did, the doors closed and within seconds we were moving again. I'd lost her.

My message from Q said she'd be in Friday afternoon, which meant I had two days to get this mess of an apartment together. The guy who lived here took most of his furniture with him, but he did leave a semi-comfortable couch and a decent coffee table. Moving was pretty easy since all my stuff was about 50 feet away across the hall. Though I will never admit it to them, it was nice still living near Hummelberry. I have people who know me. If I'm ever bored, I can just open their door and go inside to take part in whatever musical marathon they're watching at the time. Plus, Berry's a good cook despite that she only makes vegan crap.

Yeah, they're annoying most of the time, but they've actually been pretty good about my place being my place. They don't invite themselves over or just walk in. Honestly, I think it's because they're afraid they'll catch me in flagrante with some girl, but I haven't been with anyone since Q. I just can't seem to find a girl worth my time these days. I would have loved to see the looks on their faces though if they would have caught the two of us together. Priceless.

I slept and cleaned before doing laundry so I had some clean sheets for the bed and some for the couch. Obviously, things had changed between Q and I, but I don't know what the sleep situation's going to be like so I'm just preparing for whatever. Sleeping next to Q would be nice. I wouldn't mind snuggling into her. I miss having someone to cuddle with at night. I'd also really like to get her naked again, but I don't think that's going to happen and it's probably for the best that it doesn't. I'll just have to live with the memories.

Dance class was about to run over and I was pissed. I needed to get out of there if I was going to meet the right train. I know it's ridiculous. I mean what are the odds she'll be there? I told my instructor I had another class, which was of course a lie, but she didn't notice. I grabbed my stuff and ran to the elevator and then outside. I arrived to the station just in time for the train and jumped into the first car I could to avoid it leaving without me.

"Whoa!"

I bumped into someone and turned around to apologize.

"Sorry."

I took a seat quickly and began scanning the car for my mystery girl. Not here.

"You dropped your sweater."

I looked to my right and smiled.

"What?"

"Your sweater. It's on the ground."

"Oh."

It was her. I was so busy looking around me, I didn't bother to look at who I was sitting next too.

"You should really wash that before you put it on. There's bound to be some kind of disease on that floor."

I picked up the sweater and shoved it into my open duffel before zipping it closed.

"Thanks. Some people in this city are pretty disgusting."

"Yeah."

Her nose was back in her book. She was done talking to me, but I wasn't done with her.

"I'm Santana."

She looked up with a confused look on her face.

"Nice to meet you." And back to her book.

"You haven't yet."

"Huh?"

"You haven't met me yet. Typically, one person says their name and then the other person shares their name. There's like a handshake or something to make it all official."

She laughed without taking her eyes out of her book. That laugh was amazing.

"Are you trying to hit on me right now?" She finally looked up.

"How could you tell?" I smiled.

"Look, you seem like you're not a crazy person, but-"

"You're straight. It's cool."

"This is my stop." She stood and gathered her book and bag. She started to walk toward the door as it opened and then turned back to meet my glance. "Oh, and you said I was straight. I didn't."

I had about 3 seconds to react and I wasn't hesitating this time. I grabbed my crap and followed her into the station. I didn't even know what stop this was.

"You can't just say something like that and walk away."

"I think I just did and now you do seem like a crazy person."

"I'm not a crazy person. I just usually don't have to try so hard to get a girl to talk to me so give me a second to adjust."

My duffel went over my shoulder and I finally caught up with her and we walked up the stairs.

"I'm not trying to be rude, but I'm not really interested."

"In what? Me?"

"In dating."

"So, you're the relationship girl?"

"I'm a single girl and I like it that way."

"For now?"

"Yeah, for now."

I covertly glanced down her body now that I could actually see the whole thing. She was a couple inches taller than me and that hair was pulled back revealing a long, perfect neck. She had a sweater on instead of her jacket and it was short enough that it had ridden up around her waist and I could see just the slightest hint of her hip bone, which told me this girl was in shape. Her legs were long beneath those skinny jeans and I was loving the fact that she was wearing flip-flops in 50 degree weather.

"What are you reading?"

"What?"

"Your book."

"Oh, it's something for a class. Speaking of which, I'm where I'm going. It was nice to somewhat meet you Santana." She walked up the stairs and into a building. It was then that I realized I was standing in front of a university building. I could have followed her in, but that would be stalking for sure. At least if I just wait for her outside, I'm only borderline stalking. I grabbed a cup of terrible coffee from a vendor and stared across the street toward the building so I wouldn't risk missing her exit. I'm not sure what it is about this girl, but I've never been turned down for a conversation before. This was new territory for me. I needed to know what it was about me that she could resist so easily. Challenge accepted.

It was about an hour of scrolling through Facebook and Twitter and surfing the net on my phone before she finally started walking down the stairs. I hurried across the street practically getting run over in the process.

"Let's try this again. I'm Santana and you are?"

She turned around and I caught her half smile.

"You are a determined one, aren't you?"

"You have no idea."

"I'm going to save you some time, okay?"

"I don't want you to do that."

I stepped closer to her.

"I don't want to go out with you. I meant it when I said I'm not dating anyone. It's for a reason."

"So, it's not just me?"

"No. It's not just you."

"What's the reason?"

"That's not something I reveal to strangers."

"Um… I'm not a stranger. We've known each other for over an hour now. You know my first name. My last name is Lopez and if you want I'll give you my social security number, date of birth, and mother's maiden name." She laughed again and I couldn't help but smile. "How about a friend?"

"What?"

"I don't really have a lot of friends here. I haven't lived here long and the two good friends I have here are pretty ridiculous most of the time. I could use a new friend is what I'm saying. So, I'm asking if you would like a friend."

"You don't really seem like you want to be my friend. It kind of seems like you want to get in my pants."

I smiled; not at her comment, but at the directness of it. This girl was definitely my type.

"I like you. I don't know why and I know it's weird, but I do. I won't lie to you about that, but if you're not dating then you're not dating. All I'm asking for is a chance to be your friend. Nothing more. Nothing less."

"Friend? Not friend with benefits or friend that will lead to something more?"

"I'll let you drive on that one."

"I'll think about it."

She stopped walking and motioned toward another building.

"Another class? What are you a nerd?"

"I'm in law school so yeah?"

"Law school, huh?"

"First year, which means I have very little time for anything other than reading and studying."

"Okay. Let's make a friend date and I will watch you read."

There's that laugh again.

"That sounds like no fun for you."

"My friend Quinn's coming to town this weekend. Friday night, we're going out with a couple of other friends. Why don't you join us? It's a group thing and since she's staying at my place, which is a studio, you know I won't try to use my sexiness to get you to stay over."

"I'll think about it."

"You sure do like to think a lot."

"You sure do like to annoy a lot." She took a step toward the building, but turned back and walked toward me. "Give me your number and after I've thought about it, I'll text you to let you know my decision."

"I know what you're doing. This is your way of getting me to leave you alone."

She smiled before taking out her IPhone.

"Fine. I have to get to class. Congratulations, you've worn me down. Get your phone out."

I pulled out my phone faster than I thought possible. She typed her password into hers and I did the same. We traded.

"So, can I call you?"

She handed my phone back to me and when I was finished, I did the same.

"You can call. I may or may not answer." She smiled again. "I've really got to go now. My professor will kill me if I'm late."

"Okay."

She walked off for real this time before I realized I hadn't even gotten her name.

It's in my phone, I remembered and quickly searched my contacts. Abigail. I was smitten with a girl named Abigail.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks to everyone for the reviews so far. One more update for you.

I still own nothing.

Quinn's POV:

I was all packed for the weekend and I couldn't get out of this class fast enough. I barely had enough time to catch my train when it was over and this professor was rambling on about the test next week, which I wasn't worried about because this class is easy. It was also a giant lecture hall so I thought I could leave early without getting caught. I slid cautiously out of my chair taking my things with me and preceded to the exit I sat close to for this very purpose.

I headed back to my dorm room to grab my suitcase that I didn't want to bring to class with me and noticed Gabe leaving me a note on the dry erase board hanging from my door.

"Hey," I greeted as I approached him.

"Hey back. I was just leaving you a note."

"I can see that. You know I have a phone, right?"

He chuckled and ran his hand through his dark, wavy hair.

"That was my next move. I just stopped by to talk to you. I was with my friend Dave who lives downstairs. Thought I'd leave you a note and then text you."

I looked at the note on the board.

"'Gabe was here.' That's your message? Northwestern let you into law school?" I laughed and shifted my bag filled with heavy textbooks from one shoulder to the other before he reached over and took it from me putting it on his shoulder instead and moving aside so I could get to the door to open it.

"I was mid-message when you interrupted and that's sort of my news. I got in here."

I took my bag from him and tossed it on the bed next to the suitcase I was here to grab.

"What?"

"I applied to Northwestern, Stanford, and here. I was waitlisted for here and got into the other two, which is strange or whatever, but I got the news this morning that I got in here. This was always my first choice."

"So, you're not moving to Illinois?"

"Nope. New Haven for at least the next 3 years for me. Kind of like you."

I smiled at his comment while I moved the suitcase to the floor and pulled out the roller handle.

"I see what you're getting at."

"I'm not saying we'll be together for 3 years or anything. I mean we're not together now. I just…"

"Gabe, slow down." I put my hand on his chest.

"I just like you and I know the main reason we didn't go on date number 3 was because I was leaving."

"So, you'd like to go on date number 3?" I removed my hand.

"Yes."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Sure, but I've got to go. I'm going to New York this weekend to visit a friend."

"Santana?"

My face must have told him I was shocked.

"How did you know that?"

"You told me about her."

"That was like a month ago."

"I remembered. See? I am smart."

I laughed.

"I'll call you when I get back, okay?"

"Yeah. Sounds good."

"Okay. I've really got to go now. I'm going to miss the train."

"Come on. I'll give you a ride to the station."

"Q? Over here!" Santana beckoned while raising her arm in the air and waving it to catch my attention. I walked through the crowd wheeling my suitcase with me. I hadn't seen her since that night. I wasn't sure how to greet her. Do I hug her? Do I just stand there and wait for her to make the decision for me?

"Hey." I said when I finally arrived and stood a few feet from her.

"Hey weirdo." She took my heavy bag off my shoulder and put it on her own before I could even protest. "Here. Take my purse." She handed me her purse with her free hand before then taking my roller and she started walking.

"You don't have to carry my things, Santana."

"You act like I never do nice things for you."

"Well, they so rarely happen, I have a hard time believing them when they do."

"You're hilarious."

We walked outside the building to the cab she had waiting for us. The driver threw my stuff in the trunk and we slid in the back seat. We looked at each other for a second and she squinted her eyes at me.

"What?"

"Don't act like this."

"Like what?"

"Like it's all weird. I know we haven't seen each other since the wedding, but I don't want this weekend to be a bunch of awkward moments especially since…" She trailed off as she leaned up to give the driver our destination.

"Especially since what?"

"Oh, sorry. Especially since I met a girl and she's hanging out with us tonight."

I was a little taken aback by this. I didn't know what we were doing while I was here, but I would have thought she would have mentioned a girlfriend to me during one of our many conversations.

"Oh."

"I would have told you, but I didn't know for sure she was coming until about an hour ago."

"It's fine. I just didn't know you were seeing someone."

"Oh, I'm not. We're just friends. She has a thing where she doesn't date, but she won't tell me why. I'll get it out of her eventually."

"She is gay though?"

"I don't know. I just know she's not straight. Kind of like you in that way these days."

I scoffed at that comment and stared out the window.

"I don't know why I visit you."

"Act like this is the millionth trip you've made to see me."

"Have you ever been to Yale?"

"We discussed this. When you get your own place. Remember?"

"So, what's her name?" I asked and turned back to face her. She leaned toward me with her arm over the back of the seat. I can't say I've ever seen her this excited about something.

"Abigail. I met her on the subway. I stalked her on the subway actually."

"Santana Lopez stalked a girl? As I live and breathe."

"She's different, Q. I can't explain it and I don't think that I want to just yet. I don't even know her. I just know that I like her and I plan to make her realize how amazingly hot and awesome I am so she gives up this no dating thing to be with me."

"She's hot, isn't she?"

"I can't describe her correctly. You'll see her tonight and see what I mean. She's beautiful, Q, but it's not about that. Have you ever just seen a stranger and thought about how you had to know them? It's like a compulsion or something?"

"No, not really."

"You're missing out. It's pretty awesome."

Santana's phone buzzed and she looked down to see the message. Her face registered disappointment.

"What's wrong?"

"She's canceling."

"Why?"

"She just left a class and her professor added a bunch of work due Monday. She's going to be working on it all weekend."

"Sorry, San."

She put her defenses back up and the excited Santana I had just witnessed was gone.

"It's cool. She's a law student. She's busy. This was last minute anyway."

"Hey, I'm sure if she could get out of it, she would. Law school's intense. Gabe just found out he got into Yale Law so it looks like he'll be sticking around."

She looked at me confused.

"Gabe?"

"The guy I went on a couple of dates with a while ago."

"Oh yeah, I forgot about him. I didn't know you guys were still friends."

"We haven't really talked much, but he showed up today to tell me he's staying and to ask me out on another date."

"And you said…?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

"Oh, what?"  
"Nothing."

The driver pulled up to Santana's building and she quickly shoved money in his hand before I could object and before we could finish our conversation, she was lugging my stuff up the stairs because the elevator was broken and she opened her front door.

"Are Kurt and Rachel home?"

"I think Rachel's in class and Kurt usually hangs out after his last class so they can come home together. They should be back soon though."

She ushered me in and dropped my stuff by the door. I looked around and noticed the similarities and differences from the apartment across the hall. It was about half the size; maybe smaller, but the layout was pretty much the same. The kitchen and bathroom were to the left, the living room was straight ahead and Santana's bed was behind it. There wasn't a lot of furniture, but it looked like she had picked out a table at IKEA for the kitchen area and the couch looked okay.

"It's nice, San."

"Thanks. It's home."

"I can't wait to have my own place. Three months with my mother in Lima before that though."

Santana picked my stuff back up and moved it to the floor next to her bed. I went to the kitchen and pulled out two bottles of water for us and then we met at the couch.

"That's stupid, Q. Do you even want to stay in Lima?"

"No."

"So, don't. Stay here."

"What? With Kurt and Rachel?"

"You do go to an Ivy League school, don't you? Just stay here with me, dumb ass. Move your crap in whenever."

"What about when you bring girls over?" I winked at her.  
"I'll put a sock on the door and you stay with Berry, but that's not really been an issue lately. I'll do the same when you brings boys… or girls home."

"Ass."

"Seriously though, Quinn. Lima is hell especially without me there to get you through. At least this way we can have a kick ass summer together before you go nerd it up again at school."

"You seem to have a thing for nerds little miss I'm dating a law student."

She took a drink of her water.

"We're not dating. I don't want to freak her out, Q. So, if you do meet her at some point, please don't bring it up."

"You really like this girl."

"I've never worked this hard for a girl in my life."

"Well, you did have to work for like 4 plus years to get into my pants."

Her laugh was deep and then she moved to rest her head on my shoulder.

"Not exactly the same thing, loser."

"Well, look at us. Two adults with potential relationships."

"Who would have thought we'd ever get here?"

"So, what are the plans for this evening?"

She lifted her head and looked at me again with those squinty eyes.

"Can we just relax for a few minutes so you can enjoy my company before we start planning our evening?"

"I see. So, I'm enjoying your company, but you're not enjoying mine?"

Her head found it's way back to my shoulder and my hand started playing with her hair.

"I missed this part. We can't do this on the phone."

"Me too."

"Q?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think she canceled tonight for real or was it a brush off?"

"I don't know, but if she's as great as you're saying then I don't think she's brushing you off. She probably really has to study, San. I wouldn't worry about it. Give her the weekend and if you don't hear back by Monday, text her to check in. Ask her how it went or something."

"Look at you giving advice on how to pick up the ladies."

"Worked with you, didn't it?"

With that, I was pushed off the couch.


	4. Chapter 4

I own nothing.

Santana's POV:

I kept staring at my phone hoping to hear from Abigail. I'd decided to call her Abby for now until she tells me she prefers the longer version. It's just easier.

"You've got to stop doing that. You look needy." Quinn commented before taking a bite of her pizza.

"I look interested; not needy. There's a difference."

"Quinn's right, Santana. You're starting to look desperate. Is this girl like the hottest chick on the planet or something?"

"Listen Hummel, you're lucky Q and I even invited you out to dinner with us tonight. Don't start getting all opinionated about how often I check my phone or I will resend the invitation."

"Santana's sorry, Kurt. She's a little upset a girl she barely knows couldn't make it tonight when a girl she's known basically her entire life is sitting right next to her after months of not seeing one another."

"Please, Q. You're just as worried about that Gabe guy."

"No, I'm not. Have you seen me check my phone a million times at dinner?"

"Well, maybe that should tell you something."

"Like what?"

"Maybe if you're not that concerned, that says you don't really care enough about him."

"Watch out, Santana. You're starting to sound like a jealous wanna be girlfriend." Quinn giggled before taking a drink of her iced tea.

Kurt just stared on as the two bickered.

"You two are starting to sound like an old married couple. I don't think I ever remember seeing you two play fight like this without actually fighting; sometimes physically. What brought this on?"

Quinn looked at me. I guess she wanted me to take this question.

"We both just decided to start acting more like adults since that's what we are. Besides, Q and I have always loved each other. We just show it differently than most. I make a bitchy comment. She slaps me. It's our thing."

"You slapped her?" Kurt looked directly at Quinn.

"She deserved it."

"And now that we've talked about things and gotten it all in the open, I can admit that she's right and she can admit that she's a bitch sometimes too."

"I can."

"Too bad Rachel's not here to see this. She's not going to believe me when I tell her."

"Well, it's her own fault for deciding to hang with the NYADA crowd tonight. She's missing out on Q's visit and this pizza."

The restaurant was one of my favorites. I wanted to take Quinn here because it's a local place that the tourists usually miss. Rachel hated it because it reeks of pepperoni and sausage, but how else would a small pizza place smell?

"Speaking of that, I'm supposed to meet them over there. I should head out. Why don't you two join us? Santana, you go to NYADA now anyway."

"I take an extension class. That's not the same thing."

"I'm not really up for a big thing tonight anyway," Quinn offered. "I mean you can go if you want. You don't have to entertain me. I was thinking about just staying in and watching a movie or maybe reading."

I looked at her and shook my head.

"You came all the way to New York to watch a movie in my apartment and read a book?"

"I came to New York to see you, idiot, but I'm exhausted. I had an early class today and then packing between classes. I think I'll take it easy tonight."

"Then, we'll watch a movie and you'll read a book."

"While you two crazy kids work that out, I'm going to head on over to meet Rachel and everyone." Kurt rose from the table.

Quinn rose to hug him and they made plans to hang out while I worked on Saturday.

We wrapped up our dinner and walked back to the apartment.

Quinn pulled out a book from her bag while I turned on the TV. I sat next to her on the couch and she started to read.

"Don't you get enough of that with school?" I asked while channel surfing.

"This one's not for a class. Sometimes, I forget that reading can be for fun."

"What is it?"

She held up the book so I could see the title.

"_The Lost City of Z_? What's it about?"

"It's a true story about a famous explorer who goes searching for the lost city of gold in the Amazon and how he goes missing under mysterious circumstances."

"And this is for fun?"

"It's interesting. I like reading about things that actually happened. I mean think about it." She leaned in toward me. "This guy was a world renowned explorer; the best at what he did and he takes his son and his son's best friend into the jungle never to return. They send search party after search party and they find little clues here and there, but they never find proof of what happened to him. It's fascinating."

Her eyes lit up as she talked about things I did not find fascinating at all. I smiled.

"You are such a nerd." I laughed at her. "Will the TV bother you? I can watch my laptop with my headphones in."

"It's fine. I like reading with noise in the background."

"Movie or TV?"

"Whatever. I'm probably just going to read a chapter or two and pass out."

"Why don't you read in my bed then? That way when you pass out, I don't have to pick your ass up to move you there."

"What's wrong with the couch?"

"Nothing. That's why I'm sleeping on it."

"San, you don't have to give me your bed."

"We talked about this earlier. Sometimes I do nice things for you, remember?"

"Yes, I remember, but that doesn't mean you have to sleep on the couch. We can share the bed. It's not like we haven't done that before."

"Full disclosure, I wasn't sure if you'd be alright with that after what happened."

"I'm going to read in your bed. When you're ready to go to sleep, you can either join me or you can sleep on this couch. I will leave that up to you, but it's just a bed, San. We can both sleep on it."

Quinn stood up and for some reason I felt like something had changed between us. I realized we could actually be like this all the time even though we've been through a lot of crazy shit together. She could come for a visit and we could sleep in the same bed and it's no big thing. We could sit and watch a movie curled up together and it doesn't mean she's going to freak out about her lesbian best friend putting the moves on her even though we had sex. Maybe this is what grown up friendships are like.

Quinn didn't last long. I'm not sure she even finished a chapter before she drifted off with the book still in her hands. It was resting on her chest before I gingerly pulled it away, saved her place, and then put it on the makeshift bedside table I had made out of a TV dinner tray for my alarm clock. She was lying on her side now with her hands beneath her head against the pillow. She was facing the middle of the bed so after I completed my bedtime ritual, I curled up beside her and just took her in. A piece of the blonde hair she was growing out had fallen in front of her eyes. I moved it behind her ear and she jostled a little so I put my hands back by my side.

It didn't take long for me to fall asleep either, but a noise from outside woke me during the night and I found that Quinn had rolled over and I had wrapped myself around her completely. My arm was over her waist and my hand wasn't just on top of her hand. It was holding it. Our fingers were intertwined and my lips were touching her neck. I thought about waking her up how she woke me up last time, but thought against it given the complications that would inevitably follow. How the fuck did I get here? Q and I have been friends on and off for years. I never thought she would ever sleep with me and then when it happened, not only did it happen, but it happened three times and she instigated the last two. Actually, it was her suggestion to slow dance and her suggestion to keep drinking and her suggestion to "make good use of the room" that night. We got all that worked out and we're finally in a good place and now I'm spooning her like we're a couple.

If she wakes up and sees this, I don't know how she'll react, but I know I can't deal with awkward Q right now. I also know that if I try to untangle us, she will definitely wake up. Bitch is a rather convenient light sleeper. My phone buzzed from across the room and I thank God I put it on vibrate because my ringtone is Shakira and it definitely would have woken up the Sleeping Beauty I'm wrapped around. I did my best to slide myself back so I could see who is texting me. I glanced at the clock and see it's only 11. Somehow Q had fallen asleep at like 8 and I was right behind her. What a hardcore Friday night we had.

She shifted slightly when I rolled onto my back and she moved her head to my shoulder and her arm is around my waist. There's no way I'm getting out of this one. My phone buzzed again. I knew it was probably just a Facebook notification or something, but I can't sleep if I hear my phone go off without checking out why. Call me an addict, but I can't help myself. Again, I attempted to slide out of bed, but I moved too quickly.

"Where are you going?" She sleepily muttered.

"I'll be right back. Go back to sleep."

"Okay." And just like that she was out again and taking up the entire bed with her body.

I walked over to the coffee table and located my phone.

Abigail: I need a break. Are you still out?

My smile grew as I reread the message. How do I respond to this? Do I tell her I'm asleep at 11 on a Friday night? Do I tell her I'm still out with my friends?

Me: I stayed in with my friend Quinn. She was too tired to do anything. She's sleeping.

I hit send feeling pretty confident that I had shown what an awesome friend I could be by giving up my Friday night for Q. I sat on the couch and stared at my phone imploring it to illuminate with a new message.

Abigail: Coffee? I'm at the university library. There's a place next door open 24x7. Feel like meeting me? My case study partner ditched me to sleep.

Me: Sure. Text me the name of the place and give me a minute to get dressed.

Send. Was that too desperate? Q thought I was being desperate earlier. Maybe she was right. I should have said I couldn't because my friend's sleeping in my apartment and I shouldn't disappear on her. Oh, a reply.

Abigail: Red Eye Café. I'll wrap up here and meet you there in like 30?

I tapped a quick reply before heading to the closet to try to find something presentable, but not too presentable. I didn't want to look like I cared. I picked out a hoodie Q sent me a while ago with Yale on it and a pair of jeans. Normally, I'd find the hottest dress and heels that make me at least 4 inches taller, but that's for a date and this is not a date. I'm choosing to think of this as a trial period.

I turned on the light in the bathroom and heard Quinn move around in the bed. I turned to look and I could see her reaching out her arm to find me. It was kind of adorable actually.

"San?"

"Hey, sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

I walked back to my bed and sat on the end.

"Abigail sent me a text. She wants me to meet her for coffee."

"Now? What time is it?"

"It's only a little after 11. You fell asleep early, ya big nerd."

She sat up and rubbed her eyes.

"Oh, well do you want me to go with you? It's late. Should you be going out alone?"

"I'll be fine. I won't stay out long. Go back to sleep."

"Okay."

She was hilarious sometimes. Her body just fell back onto the bed and her head hit the pillow messing up her hair. I walked over and leaned it to fix it for her.

"Thank you." She softly whispered.

"You're welcome." I whisper in her ear.

"Have fun and if you're going to have sex, please do it at her place."

I smiled at that and within a few minutes I was smiling again as I walked into the café. She was already there and it looked like the break she was supposed to be taking wasn't actually happening. She was reading and highlighting like a mad woman and she was wearing glasses she didn't have on the other day. They suited her.

I sat down in front of her and waited for her to notice. When she didn't, I stuck out my hand and started to slide her book toward me. That got her attention.

"Oh, hey." She smiled.

"You really need to pay more attention. A unicorn just walked right by this table and you missed it."

She laughed that laugh again.

"Yeah, I have a tendency to get really zoned in on things and block out the world sometimes."

"Well, the world pretty much sucks so I'm not sure that's a bad thing."

"Except for the unicorn. That's pretty awesome."

"Yeah, I named her after you since you didn't get to see her."

"That was nice of you."

"Don't get used to it. It's been pointed out to me recently that I am rarely nice."

"I can see that." She took a drink of her coffee.

"Um.. you're supposed to say something like 'I don't think that's true.'"

"I don't like to lie." She stuck her tongue out at me and I had a dirty thought that I had to dismiss as the waitress approached and I had to order a coffee of my very own.

"So, how's the studying going?"

"It's never ending. I feel like I'm reviewing case law in my sleep these days, but at least the semester's almost over."

"Then what?"

"Then, I'm a second year and it starts all over."

"No, I mean during the summer. What are your summer plans? Are you staying in the city or going somewhere?"

"Oh, I'm from California originally, but I don't go back for the summer anymore. I stopped doing that after my sophomore year. It's weird when you go home and it doesn't feel like home anymore because everyone you knew is pretty much gone."

"I know what you mean. Ohio in my case, but it's different now and I've only been gone since the beginning of the school year."

"What are you studying?"

"That's a long story. I got a cheerleading scholarship to Louisville, but I didn't like it so I dropped out and moved here. I've just been working different jobs in the city trying to get my bearings, but I recently started taking an extension course at NYADA in dance."

"You're a dancer?"

"Singer mostly, but I do love to dance. I sort of forgot that in all the growing up I was doing, but it's nice getting back into it. I don't think I want to do it professionally or anything, but I'm still trying to figure things out."

My coffee arrived.

"Good luck with that."

I didn't wait for my coffee to cool before taking a sip and nearly burning my tongue. I set the cup back down and watched as she stared at me probably thinking about how I'm an idiot who doesn't have her life together. I regained my confidence.

"How about a question for a question?"

"What?"

"I ask you a question and you answer honestly and I do the same."

"Isn't that what we're doing already?"

"Yeah, but it's more fun if we set it up with rules."

"Rules like what exactly?" She took another drink.

"Like you have to answer no matter the question."

"That seems dangerous."

"Probably."

"Fine. I'm game, but you should know I haven't had more than 5 hours of sleep in like 3 days so there's a chance my answers won't be coherent."

"I'll take that chance."

"Ask away."

I thought hard about what to ask first before I realized I already knew what I had been dying to know.

"Are you gay?"

"Yes. I thought you already knew that."

"You said you weren't straight. There's a gray area there."

"Oh. Well, yes I'm gay. You?"

"Yeah."

"Are you out?" There was another question I wanted to ask, but this one was also fairly important so I threw it in first.

"Yes. Since I was 18. You?"

"Yeah. 17. Well, some people knew before that. My best friend Brit new because I was in love with her."

"We've all been there."

"We dated actually. For a while. We broke up a little while ago. She's with someone else and I'm actually good with that."

"That's good."

"So, tell me the truth. Are you really not dating anyone as a general rule or do you just not think I'm your type?"

"General rule. Why did you and your ex break up?"

"I went to college and she stayed behind, but it was more than that. We're in two different places in our lives right now. When do you think you'll lose the rule?"

She laughed again and I was growing to love that sound.

"I don't know. Honestly, that's my answer. I don't know. Do you think you guys will ever get back together?"

"I don't know. Honestly, that's my answer. I don't know," I mocked and she smiled. "I don't think so. I think she's my first, but not my forever. I'll always love that girl, but I'm not in love with her anymore. She's always going to be important to me because she's the one who told me to be brave and tell the world about this part of myself. She's the one who told me I was wasting myself in Kentucky and that I needed to come here. I'll always be grateful, but I'm not sure we'll ever be more than friends again and I think I'm finally okay with that."

"It's your question."

"Why?"

"Why what? This is your game."

"Why the no dating rule?"

"You really want to know?"

"I asked, didn't I?"

"It's a very long story. How about I tell you some other time?"

"Rules are rules." I smirked.

"I'm not saying I'm not going to answer. I just think it's a story for another time."

"But you will answer?"

"You seem to be missing the point, Santana. I'm telling you I will tell you another time. That means…"

"I past your first friendship test?"

She drank the rest of her coffee.

"It's not like that, but yes. I think we can be friends and I'm going to be busy for the next two weeks with school, but after that we should hang out."

"I have to wait two weeks to get my answer. That hardly seems fair."

"Santana…" Her tone was telling me I needed to give it a rest.

"Okay. Okay. I'll back off."

I finished my coffee and then walked her back to the library that had extended hours since it was near final exams. I kept my hands in my hoodie the whole time so as not to be tempted to reach for her hand. When we arrived at the entrance, I turned to face her.

"Well, this was fun."

"Yeah, it was. Thanks. I needed to get my mind off of school for a while."

"Anytime."

"Can I ask my next question now if I give you an extra question next time?"

I laughed.

"Sure."

"Why Yale?"

"Huh?"

"Your sweatshirt. You said you went to Louisville. Why the Yale hoodie?"

"Oh, it's from my friend. The one who's in town. She goes there. She sent it to me after I moved into my new place. The heat was out and it was freezing. It was her way of trying to help."

"That was sweet of her."

"She has her moments. Speaking of, I should probably be getting back. I sort of just left her sleeping."

"Sure. I'll call you when things die down at school."

"And if you need another coffee break in the meantime?"

"I'll keep you in mind."

I winked at her before she turned to walk into the library and I watched until she was through the door.

When I got home, I opted just to crash at the Hummelberry loft so I wouldn't wake Q again. They had both gotten used to me coming home late when I was bartending and wouldn't wake up if the door opened and closed.

I had a hard time falling asleep on the couch because I couldn't stop thinking about how I had to wait two whole weeks to see her again. I was hoping I'd get another late night text for coffee, but I wasn't holding my breath. This girl was holding something back and as much as I like untangling a mystery, sometimes a girl just needs answers so she knows what's up.


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks again for all the reviews and to answer one question, Quinntana is endgame. To answer another question regarding the "more than friends vibe" between these two… you'll get your answer soon enough.

I own nothing.

Quinn's POV:

I woke up yet again to find Santana missing. This time there was no note. I started to freak when I remembered she had left in the middle of the night to meet with Abigail. What if something happened on the way there or back? What if someone took her?

I looked around the apartment for my phone and found it under the blanket on the couch. No messages from Santana. I called her phone, but she didn't answer. She always kept the thing on vibrate anyway, which meant she missed about half her calls. I sent her a quick text asking where she was before heading across the hall and knocking on Rachel and Kurt's door.

"Guys, it's Quinn. Open up!" I yelled as no one came to the door after my third knock.

"Calm down, Q. What's the problem?" Santana greeted me; her hair a mess and she was wearing that hoodie I bought her when the heat went out.

"I thought something had happened to you. I woke up and you weren't there."

Instead of me going inside, she came outside and I followed her back into her apartment.

She went immediately to the bed and flopped down on her back.

"I got in late and I didn't want to wake you again so I crashed across the hall. I would've called or texted, but that would have woken you up. My plan was to wake up first and crawl into bed before you woke up so as to avoid the beat down Rachel's door and my ears just took."

"I guess I did freak out a little."

"You went to the serial killer place, didn't you?"

"A little. I probably should have just gone to the Santana got some place since that's more likely."

"Ha. Santana did not get some."

I lay down next to her and rolled in to face her. She rolled to face me.

"I like her, Q. I like her a lot. She's challenging me a little more than I originally anticipated, but I'm working on it."

"I'm glad. You seem happy."

"I think I am. We're not dating or anything and I need to be careful so I don't permanently join the friend zone, but I think I can figure it all out. Plus, she wears glasses sometimes. I think they're for reading or when she gets tired because she wasn't wearing them when we met, but she looks cute in them."

"You're fixating on insignificant objects. Are you sure you're not falling for this girl, San?"

"I'm too tired to try to figure that out right now. I think I got about two hours of sleep with my brain going crazy and the couch spring sticking in my back. Will you snuggle with me until I fall asleep?"

"You sure Abigail won't get jealous?"  
"Shut it."

"Come here."

She rolled over on her other side requiring me to be the big spoon this time. Either way didn't matter to me. It felt nice to be close to someone again.

When she was finally asleep, I rolled away careful not to wake her. It was partially her own fault she was so exhausted meeting with her, let's be honest, soon to be girlfriend in the middle of the night, but I get the not being able to sleep thing. I've never really felt how Santana feels about people. When she fell for Brit, she fell for her. She was all in all the time. That's why it hurt so much for her to end it even though she knew it was the right thing to do.

Now, with this new girl she was doing the same thing. It was interesting though because I would have thought it would have taken years for her to give like that again; for her to open herself up to the idea of loving someone again given that with her past relationship she lost her girlfriend and her best friend, at least in some way, at the same time. I kind of admired her for her ability to move on and allow herself to feel something so strongly for a girl she barely knows.

As I made my way to the kitchen to grab water, that's when it dawned on me. Maybe that's the reason this time is so easy for her. The girl is a stranger. She doesn't know the Santana from Lima, the Santana who was forced out of the closet by one of my ex-boyfriends, the Santana who's love chose Artie over her at first, the Santana who was surrounded by people, but was alone in her secret. Abigail only knows this, dare I say it, even more confident Santana. We should all be slightly terrified.

I'd never seen her quite like this. Even when she was with Brit, there was always something going on around her that made her more serious; at least that's what I saw. I guess I don't know what they were like when they were alone. In glee, her arms were usually crossed and her standard scowl was etched on her face. In classes, it always seemed like she was thinking hard and not about the actual class, but about how to get the hell out of Lima. I couldn't blame her for that. I pretty much did the same thing.

I took the water over to the couch and got out my book. I didn't want to turn anything on in the apartment until I knew she was definitely cycling through some heavy REM sleep.

Come to think of it, the only time I had ever seen her this happy and excited without also being so angry and serious was Mr. Shue's wedding. After the initial, "do you want me to slap you again" comment I made, we settled into something nice. Our banter shifted to obvious flirtation and I know I should have been nervous or worried, but I really wasn't. There was just something about the way her arms wrapped around me when we danced. I knew I was safe there. She wouldn't hurt me. We fight, yeah, but the truth is that we'd kill anyone who hurt the other.

The only thing I worried about during that dance was leading her on. I knew that I was drunk and that she was looking hot and that I had feelings I had never felt before, but I also knew that it wouldn't go anywhere. I hate to use the word experiment because that's not what it was. I knew I would like it before she even kissed me. I didn't need the experiment to test a hypothesis. I knew she'd make me feel things I'd never felt and only a small part of that was because she's a girl. The biggest part was because she's Santana. She's confident and passionate. She's reckless sometimes and impulsive.

When we got into the room, she was smiling bigger than I'd ever seen her smile before. I knew in her mind she was thinking about her soon to be newest conquest. I threw my purse and jacket over a chair and turned back to face her to notice the smile was gone. It had been replaced with concern.

"Q, I need to be honest about something." She took a step toward me. I stood still.

"Okay…" My face must have mirrored her concern.

"I've wanted to do things to you all night. I don't know what's gotten into you, but… fuck, you look so hot right now and I do not know what that means."

She took another step until she was standing inches away from me. I could smell her shampoo and I was immediately met with the memory of only a few minutes before when I was resting my head on her shoulder during our dance.

"I don't understand what the problem is, San." I leaned in to whisper the next part against her lips. "I know what this is and I'm more than okay with it."

Her lips were on mine instantly. It was heated and rushed and exactly what I wanted and needed. Her hands went around my waist at first before she remembered the zipper started at the top of my dress. They quickly slid up and then slid back down taking my zipper with them. Her lips left mine and I missed the contact immediately until they found themselves attached rather roughly to my neck.

"Oh, God!" I moaned as my arms went around her neck.

"Is…this…okay?" She asked between sucking on my pulse point and swiping her tongue against my ear lobe.

"Bed." I could only get out the one word. My legs were about to melt to the ground. The tingling sensation sweeping through my body was enough to make me know for sure that I was right in my earlier thinking. I am definitely going to enjoy this. I'll worry about the consequences tomorrow.

Sitting on Santana's couch trying to read wasn't working. My mind kept fluttering around through my memories of that night. My body was reacting to the memory of each touch. I tossed the book aside and turn to look at the girl sleeping in her bed. It had only been about an hour since I'd wrapped myself around her allowing her to get some much-needed sleep. My thoughts shifted once again to waking her up by touching her and what it felt like to be inside her. I really couldn't care less what that means right now. I just want to do it again and I'm going to be losing my chance soon. She'll be with Abigail and I'll probably be with Gabe. We haven't even kissed once yet so I have no idea if he'll make my body feel how she does, but at this moment, none of that matters. We're both single. We've already done it once… well, technically three times. The decision to walk over to the bed wasn't so much made by my brain, but by some other body part.

I stood at the edge of the bed staring at her for a moment. She was lying on her stomach. She had apparently woken up enough long enough to take off her jeans and hoodie. I must have missed it, but she's now just in a t-shirt and purple boy shorts. My breathing started to speed up and I found the courage I needed to make my move.

I got on all fours on the bed and moved my body so that it was hovering over her. I leaned in to whisper in her ear pressing my front gently against her back.

"San?"

She didn't move at first. I moved my hand down to slide under her shirt and moved it up her back.

"Q?" I heard her mutter.

"Is this okay?" I asked as I leaned back down and kissed her shoulder.

"What is _this_?" She asked and I could feel her breath move faster and I could see her eyes forcing themselves to stay closed.

My hand moved from under her shirt to lift it up. I had to sit back up a little and when the front of the shirt wouldn't move because it was between her body and the mattress, her body lifted up enough for me to continue my effort. I took this as permission and let the shirt settle up by her shoulders. Her arms moved from her sides to the shirt, which she then pulled off entirely and tossed to the side. I looked down at her flawless skin and my hands began moving of their own accord.

"Can we go slow this time? I half asked, half begged.

I kissed from the top of her spine and moved my lips down dragging my tongue against the bone causing her to shudder.

"Is this the last time?" She asked to the pillow as her face buried itself in it.

My tongue was pulling itself over the small of her back. My hands were pulling her underwear down, but her hands met mine and stopped them. She haphazardly rolled herself over so that she was facing me while I was straddling her.

"I'm sorry."

I looked down at her chest before looking back to her eyes. I was scared of what I might find there.

"Don't be sorry. Just tell me what_ this_ is." Her hands found my thighs and moved up to my hips.

"I don't know. I was just thinking about the last time and I want it to happen again."

"Do you just want sex or do you want sex with me?"

I lifted my shirt over my head and threw it on the ground.

"You." I stated directly.

Her hands moved behind my back and my bra was unhooked and on the floor within seconds. They went back to my hips and we were flipped so that she was on top of me kissing my neck.

"This is a bad idea. You know that, right?" She asked before looking me in the eye and pecking me on the lips.

"Don't really care right now. Do you?"

Her thumb and forefinger went to my chin and she pulled a little so my mouth would open. Her tongue swiped my upper lip until my tongue came to meet hers. They danced for a minute while her hand reached down to unbutton and unzip my jeans.

"Slow this time?"

"Uh huh." I confirmed.

"Good. I like slow."

She leaned back before getting off the bed entirely. She wiggled her finger at me to move toward her. I bounced my way to the end of the bed and sat there topless. She lifted my chin up so she could meet my gaze. She leaned down to kiss me deeply before placing my hands on her hips. I took the hint and pulled my mouth away from her. I slid my hands around her back and into her underwear. I slid them down until they were around her thighs and she helped them off the rest of the way.

"Lie back," She ordered. I complied.

She stood in front of me completely naked and reached down to pull my pants off. Once they were thrown aside, she kneeled on the floor and placed herself between my legs.

"What happened to slow?" I asked with a smile. She licked over my underwear. "Shit!" I exclaimed.

She smirked.

"That's just to hold you over for a while." She moved back and pulled off my underwear and looked at me. "You're already wet, Q."

"I told you I was thinking about last time."

She kissed the inside of my thigh and it sent shivers all over my body. She kissed my clit, which caused those shivers to increase and my hips jolted up on their own. I looked down at her and there was that smirk again.

"Fuck, I don't know how slow I can go. I really just want to fuck you right now." She moved to straddle me with my legs still hanging off the bed. "Move back."

I used my hands to guide myself backwards and she was right there with me; on top of me with her hands on my cheek.

"Slow now. Fast later." I proposed.

She leaned in and kissed me slowly telling me with her mouth that she understood my meaning and my hands went to her breasts I'd been dying to touch.

"That feels good."

"Tell me what you want me to do." I requested.

"Just kiss me and let me take care of you."

"But I want-" She cut me off with a kiss.

"Later."

Her mouth moved back to my neck and I swear she was determined to skillfully use it on every part of my body. Her meticulous assault continued down my chest as she took my right nipple into her mouth while using her fingers to tweak the other causing a rush of heat to flood my body.

"Fuck!"

She let go of one nipple and before moving to the other said, "I love it when you say bad words. It's seriously hot."

My other nipple was in her mouth and her hands were moving everywhere. I could feel them everywhere. All. At. Once. My hands kept drifting down because I was desperate to touch her where it counted, but she moved them up above my head and held them there until I got the hint and just put them around her neck to hold her close.

Her lips were around my belly button while her tongue jutted in and out and I couldn't help but think about how that was going to feel a little lower.

"I take it back. I can't do slow anymore, San."

She stopped and met my eyes with her own. She moved back up my body until we were eye to eye.

"Too intense?"

I got what she meant. She was worried that this time had more meaning than the others and therefore more complications.

"Intense in a good way. I just want to feel you." I put her at ease and my hand around her neck brought her down to kiss me.

"I'm not done yet. I gave myself a silent challenge to kiss every inch of you and you know I don't back down from a challenge. I promise…" She kissed me. "it will be worth the wait, Q. Please let me."

This is a different Santana than from our first night. Both were understanding and caring, but the Santana from the wedding didn't want slow at all. I think she was afraid I'd reconsider before she got the chance to do what she wanted with me. This Santana was enjoying kissing and licking and touching every part of me. I looked at her a bit confused and she read my eyes perfectly.

"If this is the last time, I want it to last," She said.

I didn't say anything because there wasn't anything to say. She made her way back down my body and kissed every part of my legs. When she was finished, well as finished as she was for now with my front, she asked me to roll over. Her hands were soft against my back as she rubbed my shoulders releasing any tension they held. She was straddling me and I could feel her wetness against the small of my back, which only made me wetter. My hips started moving against the mattress and I couldn't help but move my hand down to help relieve that tension, but she stopped me again.

"That's for me to take care of." She leaned down and took my hand moving it back by my head and covering it with her own. "I want to give you a massage."

"I want you to give me a massage too. Just on another body part." I explained into the pillow I was using to brace myself from turning over and sliding my fingers inside her.

"Does Gabe make you feel like this?"

"What?" I asked the pillow before trying to roll myself over to face her, but she stopped me by leaning back down and kissing between my shoulder blades.

"I was just curious."

"I really don't want to talk about him right now, Santana. Fuck! Why did you bring that up?"

"I just wanted to know."

She kissed me again and her fingers began to work between our bodies on the small of my back and damn it felt good. I had no idea how tense I was until she started to work the stress out of my body.

"We haven't even kissed yet, San."

I heard her laugh lightly as she kissed my neck.

"You really are a prude."

I laughed at the irony of that comment at this moment.

"Clearly."

"Why haven't you kissed him yet?"

Her hands moved up and she leaned back for more leverage, which caused her to shift slightly and I could feel her rub against me.

"God San, why are we talking about this? I can feel how wet you are. Just-"

She rubbed against me again and I could hear her moan as one of her hands left my body. I turned my head as much as I could to see where it went and I could see her covering her breast and playing with her nipple as she continued to search for friction against my body. "To hell with this."

I moved fast so she couldn't stop me this time and when I was flat on my back and she was trying to recover, I leaned up and put my hands on her hips and my mouth on that same nipple. I sucked it into my mouth and moaned immediately.

"Fuck, Q! That feels good."

"It's for me to take care of; not you, remember?"

"Fast now?"

I stopped and looked up at her and winked.

"Fast now."

She slammed my body back against the bed and settled on top of me when a thigh between mine. Her fingers moved to my mouth and I sucked on them causing her to moan.

"What do you want?" She kissed me. "Fingers." Kiss. "Mouth." Kiss.

"All of it."

Her hand went between my legs and she coated herself with my wetness before sliding two fingers in.

"Jesus!"

"Too fast?"

"No! Go!"

She didn't bother with starting slowly with her thrusts before speeding up because we were more than past that point. Her fingers and hips found a rhythm that caused sweat to drip down her forehead and down her back, which I felt as my hands moved up and down it and moved around her neck to bring her in for a searing kiss.

"God, you feel so good, Quinn." Her fingers curled inside me. She didn't wait for me to say anything before she slid down and her mouth was on my clit. She moaned against it and the vibrations sent shocks through my body.

"Do that again."

She did and my hand moved to her hair to force her closer. Her fingers pulled out and just as I was about to protest, her tongue replaced them.

"Oh my God!" She pulled it out and licked around my entrance causing my hips to jump before her fingers went back in and curled against me. She licked up and down before flicking my clit with her tongue.

"Come for me, baby." I couldn't even register the fact that she just called me baby because my body seemed to like when she ordered it around and I came hard around her fingers, which she removed and replaced with her mouth. Her fingers moved up to my clit to massage it while I was coming down, while she drank up everything that came out of me. She stayed down there kissing the inside of my thighs until the last tremor. I think she stayed down there longer than she really needed too as if she was trying to stop time to remember every moment; every part of my body. When she was finally above me again, she kissed me lightly and nuzzled into my neck.

"That was even better than the first time."

"I know." She chuckled into my neck and kissed it again.

I moved my arms around her back and hugged her closer.

"Give me a minute." I needed time before I could even think about moving. What she had done even though I barely moved had taken a lot out of me.

"Take your time. You don't even have to do anything. I think I just got off getting you off."

I laughed into her ear as she pulled back to rest her forehead against mine.

"So, you're good then? If I just got up and walked away, you would be okay with that…"

"Hell no, Fabray. Get to work." She kissed me again and rolled off me. I laughed as I crawled on top of her.


	6. Chapter 6

I own nothing.

Santana's POV:

Even with all her inexperience, Q really knew what she's going. Maybe all those years of praying instead of having sex did her some good because she got me off three times before I finally had to start getting ready for work. I hated having to leave her with Berry and Hummel, but I couldn't call in sick. Now, that I'm living on my own, I needed to have money coming in.

I thought about kissing her before I left, but that felt too much like what a couple might do. Plus, Berry was already there helping Q plan their night of debauchery. I saw Quinn roll her eyes at least 3 times and it made me think back to a different time when it was the Unholy Trinity against the world. We threw slushies at people like Rachel Berry and Kurt Hummel and dated the guys who tossed him in the dumpster. Somehow, we ended up here in this place where Berry is sitting on my couch and Kurt will be joining them later for whatever it is they're doing. Quinn and I had talked a lot about New Haven recently. Well, before she got here recently. We haven't really _talked _a lot about anything since she's been here, but I blame her for that one. I could tell by her tone that she liked New Haven and Yale, but that she didn't love it. She could act with everyone else, but I know her tells and she would so lose at poker with me at the table. She bites her lip when she's nervous about having to say something she really doesn't want to say. She squints her eyes and furrows her brow at the same time when she's trying to think of a way to answer someone's question. She plays with her hands in her lap when she's trying to exaggerate. When she does all three of those things at once, I can tell she's making something sound better than it really is. I saw her look up at me from the couch as I was grabbing my purse to go and she shook her head in disbelief that she was spending the night hanging with Rachel and I realized we were on the same page with our thoughts. I winked and mouthed "have fun" and headed out.

I probably should have asked them to stop by the bar, but I needed my space tonight. My brain was on overdrive trying to figure out what's been going on between us. I probably should have stopped it, but I'd been thinking about sex with her since Valentine's Day and I knew she wanted it too. Also, I was kind of dreaming about it when she woke me up anyway so I was really at a loss for how to stop it at that point. I had no idea what this meant now. I know she doesn't want it to be a thing and I don't want it to be a thing. The reasons we're just friends are still there. Nothing's really changed except that we added to our number of encounters.

As I poured drinks for drunkards at the bar, I was thinking about those encounters and trying not to over pour shot glasses and waste precious booze. Normally, when people buy me drinks, I don't actually drink them, but tonight I downed some shots and slipped some phone numbers in my back pocket knowing I'd never use them, but doing that got me more free drinks and by 3 when I was heading home, I knew I was drunk and shouldn't walk or take the train by myself. I grabbed my purse, tossed the napkins and cards with numbers on them in the trash and asked one of the girls I work with to call me a cab. When it arrived, I hopped in and took out my phone. I had 5 missed texts from Quinn.

Quinn 11:24pm: Rachel is asleep on my shoulder after our third Broadway musical. I think I might die.

I laughed my drunk laugh and the cab driver talking in a foreign language on his blue tooth stared at me like _I'm _the crazy person.

"Eyes on the road. I called you so I wouldn't die in a horrible accident."

My eyes returned to the phone.

Quinn 12:33: Hope you're having fun at work. I'm getting ready to go to sleep. I don't care if you wake me up when you get back. Just let me know this time if you're staying somewhere else.

Always a worrier, that girl.

Quinn 1:04: So, I'm still awake and I'm thinking I want to do what we did earlier again. Thoughts?

Quinn 1:06: Okay. I may have had a couple of drinks with Rachel earlier and then I drank some stuff you have here so I'm probably drunk.

Quinn Fabray is drunk texting me a booty call. This is hilarious… hilarious and awesome.

Omar the cab driver swerved to miss someone on a bike. Yes, his name is actually Omar. I looked at his ID. I'm not a racist. I leaned in to make sure he could hear me through the plastic window.

"Seriously dude, I may be having some hot sex tonight. If you get me killed before that happens, I will come back, kill you and make it look like an accident."

He turned to look at me and gave me a wink and a smirk.

"Never gonna happen, buddy."

I sat back and scrolled down to the last message.

Quinn 2:05: Friends with benefits is a terrible idea, right?

"Omar, get me home in less than 5 minutes without killing me and you'll get the tip of your life." Wait. "Cash. That tip is cash." I felt that given our previous exchange, I should clarify. He was only half listening anyway as his blue tooth chimed again and he took yet another call. Omar's a popular guy at 3am.

I sobered up pretty quickly to consider Q's suggestion in the back of that cab. Friends with benefits only worked in Ashton Kutcher movies and I would never have thought Quinn would be up for anything like that. It was probably just the alcohol in her system suggesting this. She clearly gets all hot and bothered when she's intoxicated. I made a mental note of this to refer back to later. She is so hot sometimes though and what's even better is that she has no idea. I don't think I can resist what she's offering. I'll save the good decisions for my thirties.

When I arrived home, I opened the door loudly in an attempt to wake her up. What? She said not to worry about it. I didn't need too though because she was sitting on the couch watching TV. She was slouched over and there was an empty glass on the table in front of her.

"Hey drinky," I offered as I threw my keys on the kitchen table and tossed my purse next to them.

"So, you got my texts then? Yeah, sorry about that. Rachel was boring me and then Kurt did like a fashion show with broaches and then I drank to fight the boredom and my desire to yank the broaches off him and throw them in a river and then I drank because I was almost drunk anyway."

I put my phone on the coffee table as she forced herself to sit up on the couch. She was wearing the Yale hoodie she had given me and an old pair of cheer shorts.

"I thought you gave that to me." I motioned to the hoodie.

She smiled.

"I did, but I was cold and it was there."

I laughed at her. Drunk Quinn may be my favorite Quinn and not just because of the sex. "Then, why are you wearing shorts?"

"Because I was drunk cold. You know? You're cold then you're hot then you're cold again. Shorts with a sweatshirt. Perfect combination. Do you want it back?" She smiled shyly.

"Are you still cold?"

"No."

"Then, yeah."

She pulled the sweatshirt over her head while I walked toward her. I helped her toss it on the floor and sat down to straddle her.

"Hi." I greeted from my new position.

"Hi. How was work?" Her arms went around my waist and I thought she was just doing it to hold me in place for a minute, but then moved under my shirt.

"Do you really want to talk about my job right now?" I took in a deep breath as hands moved over my back and she played with the clasp on my bra.

"Is this you saying yes to my drunk text?"

"You mean your booty call? Yes, but this is me saying maybe to your overall concept. I think we should talk more when we're both sober."

"You're drunk too? You don't seem drunk." She squinted at me in disbelief.

"I'm a little drunk. I had to drink tonight to try to get my mind off of what we did earlier. Just so you know, it didn't really work."

I leaned down to kiss her gently before I pulled back to check her reaction.

"Maybe we shouldn't do this when we're like this."

"This was your idea, Fabray. Also, I think we've already crossed that bad decision bridge, don't you?"

She lifted her hands to help me lift my shirt over my head so I was left in my bra. She leaned in and kissed between my breasts.

"You smell like smoke. You need to take a shower."

"I work at a bar. I smell like smoke and beer and low self-esteem and regret and God knows what else."

"Shower."

She kissed me a little higher and higher until she kissed around my jawline and my hands moved to lift off her shirt. She had taken her bra off earlier apparently.

"Hot."

"Yes, take a hot shower." Drunk Quinn is not necessarily the smartest of the Quinns. She kissed me again.

"No dumb ass, I mean _you_ are hot."

She laughed and blushed at the same time and I stood up and pulled her with me.

"Let's go shower."

"I've already showered today, San."

"Not like this, you haven't."


	7. Chapter 7

I own nothing.

Quinn's POV:

I woke up around 11am with Santana draped across my mid-section. I think we got about 4 hours of sleep after the shower and another round in the kitchen when we went to get a snack. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to eat on that table and I was definitely sure it was going to break when she threw me on it and jumped on top of me.

I couldn't see her face, but I could feel her breathing so I could tell she was still asleep. What have I gotten myself into? My slight headache made me remember how drunk I actually was last night when I suggested we continue whatever it is we're doing here. My idea was a stupid one that came out of a boring night watching movies with old high school friends. I had nothing else to think about so I thought about Santana and our afternoon together and our night at the hotel. Thinking about it always makes me want it again, which made me want to drink to get my mind to think about something else, which of course didn't work because drinking is what got us into this in the first place all those months ago.

I wanted to do it again so I suggested friends with benefits. That never works. I know it does in the movies, but this is no movie and I don't think Santana is really the grand romantic gesture type.

She started to move her hand across my stomach and I felt her breathe in deeply. I closed my eyes for some reason thinking that feigning sleep was my best option. I felt her lift her head and look up at me.

"I know you're awake, Fabray. Open those eyes."

I smiled and opened them before lifting my hand to brush the deep brown, messy hair away from her face.

"Good morning."

"Morning. Why did you pretend you were asleep?"

"I don't know. I don't really want to move though so I guess I thought if I closed my eyes, I could just stay here longer."

She moved her head back to my chest and her hand on my stomach moved to grab my hand, which was by my side. Her fingers started to play with my fingers.

"Speaking of… what time do you have to leave?"

"My train is at 2."

"Why don't you take a later one?"

"Because I have to get back. I have homework for class tomorrow that I didn't do because I was coming here."

"And you have a boy to call."

"I'll call him tomorrow."

"Why not call him right when you get back?"

"Did you miss the part where I said I have homework to do?"

"Whatever sassy."

Her fingers stopped playing with mine and her hand moved itself lower to between my legs.

"Santana…"

"Yes…?" She dragged out the word.

"What are you doing?"

"You."

I laughed as her long finger slid further down and then I choked on my own breath when another joined it.

"We shouldn't. I have to pack. Fuck! I have to pack and…"

She moved on top of me.

"Yeah, keep talking Q. I'm not stopping."

I smiled as her fingers moved to my entrance.

"So, we're really doing this friends with benefits thing? Shit!"

Her fingers dipped inside me and her body started slowly rocking into mine.

"Might as well. We both clearly like what we do to each other." She swiped her thumb over my clit and I shuddered. "See?" There's that damn confident smirk. "Besides, we're both single. So, why not?"

"What… Jesus! What happens when we're not single?" She leaned in to kiss me.

"Then, we stop."

"Does this change the summer plan?"

She stopped her movements to think about what I had just said.

"You mean you staying here?"

"Yeah, please keep going. I'm already almost there."

She smiled and continued. My muscles were already clenching around her fingers. My body was learning to react quickly to Santana's adept fingers.

"I still want you here. Do you still want to be here?"

"Yes!" I screamed.

She laughed.

"Were you answering me or do you just really like what I'm doing to you?" She moved down my body to take my left nipple in her mouth.

"Both. Use your mouth."

She moved quickly and started working on my clit with her tongue. It took only seconds for it to happen. She helped me ride it out before returning to face me.

"Do you still want to stay here, Q?"

"What about Abigail?"

When I mentioned the girl's name, Santana pulled away so she was sitting up straddling me.

"What about her?" Her hands went to her sides.

"You like her."

"Yeah. We're not together though."

"Come on, San. You will be soon."

"I can't talk about this with you right now. I just fucked you, Q. I can't talk about another girl when we're both naked."

"Why not?" I grabbed her waist. "If we're just friends with benefits, you should be able to talk to me about this stuff."

"Not right after I just had my fingers inside you and my tongue all over your body, Fabray."

"Alright. I'm sorry. I'm just trying to think about things."

She got off me and sat up next to me instead.

"I know. I'm sorry. It's just weird talking about a girl I like with another girl beneath me… especially since that girl is you and not some random chick I picked up at a bar."

I placed my hand on her back and drew circles there with my finger knowing that would calm her down.

"I don't want to be staying here for three months while you're just starting to date someone. That's not really fair to you or her. This place is nice, but there's not a lot of privacy."

"Q, the way things are going with this girl, it could be years before she actually agrees to go on a date with me. I just don't know. I do know that I like her. I want to see where it goes, but I also like what we're doing. It's kind of fucked up, but I feel like you and I are in this good place now where we're honest with each other and if you told me this was weird for you and you wanted to stop, I'd say okay and we'd be fine."

"Same."

"And I think it's clear that we both like having sex with each other and that we are very compatible." She moved so that she was lying next to me and her head was next to mine and she was whispering her words in my ear. "You are amazing in bed, Fabray."

I smiled and nuzzled into her placing my arm around her waist.

"You're not so bad yourself, Lopez."

"How many more weeks before you're done with school?"

"Three."

"How about in three weeks, you drive that car your daddy bought you for your sweet sixteen to NYC and I'll get my landlord to open up one of the coveted spots in the garage downstairs. You park it there for three months. I'll get Berry and Hummel to help move your stuff. I think Hummel can lift about five pounds at a time, but Berry can lift a lot for a member of the lollipop guild."

I rolled over so I was on top of her.

"How are you going to convince your landlord to give me the spot?"

She motioned down her body.

"Hello."

"You're evil."

"Kiss me, damn it!"

I leaned in and granted her wish.

A couple hours later, I boarded the train back to New Haven. My dorm room door was open and I could hear girls giggling, which meant that Jenna was home and entertaining some of her future sorority sisters. I noticed something on my dry erase board so I stopped to read it. "Hope you had a fun weekend in NYC. Call me when you get back. Gabe. Was that a better message?" I laughed and wondered again why we even still have a dry erase board when we have cell phones. When I walked in, I greeted Jenna and the two other girls I didn't care to get to know. I was exhausted so I just ignored them and attempted to take a nap before beginning my homework. I quickly grabbed my phone and sent Santana my promised "I'm back alive" text and closed my eyes trying to block out the sound around me, but that just left me with my own thoughts and these days my thoughts were dangerous.

Somehow in one weekend, I ended up with a third date with a guy I like and I've entered into a no strings attached type deal with one of my best friends who also happens to be a girl.

If my parents could see me now… They thought teenage pregnancy was scandalous. I'm fucking Santana Lopez and even though I haven't had a lot of sex in my life, I can definitely say that this is the best sex I've ever had and that I won't be able to stop thinking about it. Good luck with this nap, Fabray.


	8. Chapter 8

And here's chapter 8.

I own nothing.

Santana's POV:

After I got Quinn's text that she arrived back to school safely, I opted to get out of the apartment. I needed some fresh air to do some thinking. I wasn't in the mood for pizza so I skipped my usual place in favor of the café where I had met Abby. The coffee was good and the atmosphere was chaotic, which should help occupy my brain.

When I entered, I noticed her immediately. She was sitting at the same table with her nose in what I was assuming was another book. I smiled and thought of my greeting as I walked over to her.

"I thought I was on the short list of invitees to your coffee breaks."

She looked up at me.

"I thought you were done stalking me."

I sat down.

"So did I. I'm just here for the coffee. I didn't think you'd be here."

"The place I told you I frequent… You honestly didn't think I'd be here?"

"I'm pretty sure it's my turn to get my question answered."

"Now? We said when school was over."

"We did, but I think fate is telling you to give up the info by bringing me here."

She thought for a moment before capping and setting down her yellow highlighter.

"Alright, but just remember you asked for it."

"Why don't you date?"

"Because my fiancé died." My smile faded immediately. "You asked for it."

"I'm sorry. I just thought it was something lame like you need time to study or you just didn't want to tell me you don't date younger girls. I'm stupid. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Really. But now you know why I don't just blurt things out. I'm not trying to be mysterious. I just know how people react and I don't want to share the whole story with strangers."

"You don't have to share the whole story with me. I'll drop it. We can talk about something else or I can just leave you alone."

"Santana, stop." She took a drink and closed her textbook, sliding it to the side. "Her name was Kate. We met freshman year at Columbia. We were both in some freshman lit required course. She asked to borrow a highlighter one day and we were inseparable after that."

"What happened?"

"She never told me she was in remission. I couldn't blame her. It's not something you really want to talk about after you've just beaten cancer, but she had to tell me sophomore year when it came back. She had the treatments. We moved in together so I could take care of her 24x7. The summer after sophomore year, she got worse. During the first semester of junior year, she had to drop out and she was in the hospital more than she was at home. I proposed partly because I knew I was losing her and partly because I was madly in love with her and wanted to spend the rest of _my_ life with her. Then, the treatment stopped working." She stopped talking and looked down at her hands clasped tightly in front of her. "She died that November."

I stared at her not knowing what to say. My life experience had not prepared me for how to handle these conversations. I wasn't supposed to be dealing with death at 19.

"I'd say I'm sorry again, but I think that's wrong to say. You probably get that all the time."

"It's okay. I get it. I'm the girl with the dead fiancé. This is usually the time when girls politely excuse themselves and say they'll call me and I never hear from them again."

I looked at her confused for a second.

"So do you not date because you're still… grieving or is it because you've tried, but the girls run away?"

Her eyes were bright blue and mesmerizing every time I looked at them. They were sadder there for a minute, but they'd started to lighten up.

"A little of both, I guess. I mean, she'll always be in my heart and this sounds strange, but I'm lucky in a way because I knew it was coming. We got a chance to say goodbye and she made me promise not to give up on love and all that romantic crap."

I leaned in and took her cup of coffee. The waitress still hadn't taken my order so I borrowed a sip from her cup.

"Romantic crap, huh?" I offered back.

"Well, it's crap when the woman you love is dying."

"That makes sense."

"It's been two years. It's gotten easier to deal with and I did try to date once about a year ago with some girl in my poly sci class, but when I told her about Kate, she stopped calling and once a few months ago with a girl I met at a bookstore. She was fine with it for a while, but when she noticed a couple of pictures I still had on display in my apartment, she sort of freaked out and said things about not being able to compare to a dead girl. So, you can imagine how that went."

"I'm not going anywhere." I said it before I thought it through. "I mean, not that we're dating or anything, but as a friend… I'm not going anywhere. We've all got baggage. Mine is blonde and dating a boy who does terrible impressions. Yours' is someone you loved and lost."

"You're a wise woman, Santana Lopez."

I paused.

"And I'd say something back there with your full name in it… something like 'it seems like we're both pretty wise Abigail dot dot dot' but I don't know your last name."

"Ha! Yeah, I guess I haven't really given that to you, huh? It's Watson. Abigail Watson, but now that we're friends, you can call me Abby or Wats. Some people call me Wats. Like a light bulb because I'm always coming up with crazy ideas."

"Really?"

"No. It's just because of my name. I don't have time for crazy ideas. And nobody really calls me that. I don't know why I even said that."

"That's okay. I've been calling you Abby without your permission in my head since I got your name."

"I'm in your head a lot, huh?"

"I wouldn't say a lot."

I took another drink of her coffee before passing it to her so she could do the same.

"You know you can order coffee of your very own."

"I could, but yours' is already here and I told you I only stopped by for the coffee."

"Is it my turn to ask a question?"

"I don't know. I've lost track. Go ahead though."

"I get that we've been flirting back and forth and I admit I am partly to blame, but are you going to be okay if it if we stay friends? I just don't think I can do the dating thing and I'm more of a relationship girl anyway and I know I would need to get to know somebody before heading down that road again."

"Yes, I can be your friend, but I don't think I can say I'll wait for you to be ready. Is that going to be a problem?"

"No. I get it. That's romantic crap."

"I like you. You know that and I'm not usually like this where I share so much and tell someone up front how I feel. I understand why you need a friend and not someone constantly pressuring you to be more. I don't want you to think that every time I say you look beautiful or I open a door that there's something more behind it. You are beautiful. That's just a fact and I will open a door for you if I'm there first, but not because I'm trying to make a move. It'll be because I'm impatient."

"Understood and appreciated."

"And now I'm going to order my coffee to go so you can study up and pass your classes."

"You don't have to go."

"I know, but I don't want you to have to take summer school because of me." I winked at her and stood.

"That's not really how law school works, but I get your meaning."

"Text me on your next coffee break and I'll be a good friend and make sure you take an actual break with no textbooks."

"Deal."

"See ya later."

I walked to the counter, ordered my coffee and paid. I turned before exiting to take a quick look and caught her staring right at me. I smiled and turned to go.


	9. Chapter 9

Thank you all for those kind words of encouragement you've provided me with thus far. I appreciate all of them. And now back to the show…

I own nothing.

Quinn's POV:

My date with Gabe had arrived and I was officially nervous. It didn't really make sense because this was our third date. I'd done the first date worry thing before. After picking out something to wear, Jenna made me wear something else saying that the patterned sundress I had picked out wasn't revealing enough for a third date. So, I borrowed one of her dresses that really looked like something Santana would wear along with a pair of her red heels that were about a half size too small.

The whole thing felt awkward, but when I was about to change again, there was a knock on the door and Jenna was opening it before I could object.

"Hi," I stammered as I moved away from the mirror and toward the door where Gabe was standing with flowers.

"Hey, these are for you." He offered me the bouquet.

"Thanks, but you didn't have to get me flowers." I took them and searched my room for a place to put them. Dorm rooms don't exactly come with vases or sinks that spew water so you can use your roommates plastic cup covered in the Greek alphabet as a vase.

"I wanted to get you flowers. I'm chivalrous and what not." He smiled and I smiled, suddenly less nervous.

Jenna finally took the flowers from me.

"I'll take care of them," she professed and then stood closer to me to whisper something only I could here. "I like the guy, but he seems like he's trying too hard if you ask me."

"No one asked you," I whispered back before heading out the door.

"So, how was your weekend?" He asked before taking a drink of his wine. He ordered a glass for me as well, but I'd yet to touch it. Alcohol and I are on a break right now.

How do I answer this question exactly?

"I had fun. I visited with old friends and saw a little of the city." I took a drink of my water.

"Only a little?"

I choked on my water thinking about the reason I only saw a little was because I saw a whole lot of Santana.

"Short trip."

"Do you like New York?" I could tell he was searching for questions to ask me. I think I saw a bead of sweat on his forehead.

"Gabe, what's going on?"

"Nothing, why?"

"I don't know. You just seem nervous right now."

"Not hiding it well, am I?"

"Good thing you want to be a lawyer and not an actor."

He laughed.

"I'm sorry. I just had a really good time with you on our other dates and then we stopped and it feels like I'm starting all over again. I even tried to impress you by bringing you here."

Here was a fancy restaurant off-campus that had $40 menu items with Italian words I couldn't pronounce.

"You don't have to impress me with flowers or a restaurant. I went out with you again because I had a good time too."

"You say that, but have you ever actually met yourself? You're a difficult girl to read, Quinn. Do I take you to a fancy place or are you a drive-thru girl? Do I open the door for you or will you think that's too old-fashioned?"

"Jenna was right," I muttered while smiling and reaching for the bread I wasn't going to eat, but I'm hungry and no longer worried about eating too much while on a date and looking like a pig. I love bread. I'm eating it, damn it.

"What?"

"Nothing. I'm sorry I'm difficult to read. I guess I just don't think about those things. I like fancy food and I like fast food and I couldn't care less about the door thing."

"Well, I guess that's good information to have."

"Also, I think I'm a little dressed up for a drive-thru so why don't we eat here tonight and we can do the fast food thing next time."

He smiled as he interpreted my statement.

"Next time?"

"Yeah."

"Hey." I greeted Santana.

"Hey, how did it go?" She asked.

"It was nice. He took me to dinner at this really fancy place he thought I would like. He seemed pretty awkward though. It was kind of funny."

"So, he's a classy guy?" She mocked.

"Yeah. Super classy." I was lying on my bed with my laptop watching the screen as Santana made faces at me. "Why did I Face Time with you if you're just going to make fun of me?"

"Because I'm hot and you missed seeing my face. It's only been a week, Q. Calm down. You'll see this body again soon enough."

"Stop it." I laughed at her, which I knew I shouldn't do because it just encourages her behavior.

"So, did you finally let the man kiss you or what?"

"Yes, I let him kiss me."

"And?"

"And he's got some skills."

"Whore."

"Weren't you the one who called me a prude for not kissing him before?"

"I'm a woman. I can change my mind. So, he's got kissing skills. Did you also find out if he has horizontal type skills?"

"No!"

"So you're half a whore."

"I like the guy. He's nice, but I'm just not there yet."

"Its just sex, Q. You do it with me all the time."

"First of all, it's not all the time."

"It will be." She winked at the screen and I shook my head at her.

"Second of all, I've made mistakes in the past in this particular area. I'm trying not to make them again with Gabe. I told him I wanted to take things slow."

"So, are you guys together then? Officially?" She looked a little concerned.

"No. He asked what I thought about the idea and I just told him we should wait on that since he's spending the summer back home in Michigan with his family and I'm spending the summer in New York."

"That's convenient. Sure you didn't plan your potential relationship around the three months you'll be sharing my bed?" She smirked.

"I'm sure, yes. I'm trying to make smarter decisions these days. If we're exclusive for two weeks before we go our separate ways, it just puts all this pressure on us. Who's going to call who and when? Who visits who and when? It's just better to stay in touch and talk about it if and when we want to in August." I felt good about my explanation and decision. In the past, I would've just told Gabe we should be a couple. I probably would have Facebook stalked him over the summer and gotten jealous of every picture he took with a girl and I would have ruined the whole thing before it really ever got started.

"Does he know about me?"

"He knows about my friend, Santana in New York."

"You know what I mean."

I watched as she took a drink from her water bottle.

"No, I didn't exactly know how to tell him about my best friend who I am also sleeping with sometimes."

"Just tell him the truth. I am super hot and amazing and you love it when I go down on you and can't resist me."

"You're right. I should have told him that right after he asked me to be exclusive."

"Guys love that shit."

"Goodbye Santana." I went to move my finger to the mouse to click away from this conversation.

"Q?"

"What?"

"What are you wearing?"

"Goodbye Santana."

I heard her laugh as I hung up and returned to my homework. A few moments later, she sent me a text.

Santana: I'm glad you met a nice guy, Q.

Me: Thank you.

Santana: Seriously though, I could only see your t-shirt. What else are you wearing?

This girl is relentless.

Me: Nothing. I'm touching myself while thinking about Gabe.

Santana: Bitch.

Me:


	10. Chapter 10

I own nothing.

Santana's POV:

Abby's two weeks were up. I got a text saying she had taken her last final and was going to a club to hang out with her law school friends. I was invited, but I had to work. She promised to stop by the bar after she ditched the geeks though so I made sure to look extra good for work.

I know I'm just a friend and I really am okay with it. I don't want to rush her into something she's not ready for, which is weird for me. It's like I'm actually turning into a person who cares about other people. Not really sure how I feel about that.

Around midnight, we got slammed. I was pouring drinks left and right and the line was never ending. Sweat had formed on my forehead and I didn't even have time to wipe it off.

"Excuse me, a unicorn just walked past you and you missed it. Don't worry though. I named her after you since you missed her."

I looked up and caught those amazing blue eyes.

"Hey, how long have you been here?"

"A few minutes. It took me that long to get up here."

"Yeah, sorry. We're packed tonight."

"That's okay, but I ditched my friends to hang out with you and it doesn't look like I'm going to be able to do that tonight."

"I'm sorry. It's not usually like this. It's fleet week." I poured yet another round of shots and shoved them in the direction of a sailor.

"It's okay.

"No, it's not. You came all the way over here and I can't even take a break."

"What about tomorrow?"

"I have my last dance class in the morning, but I'm free after that."

"Call me when you're done."

"It's your first night of freedom. At least let me buy you, or in this case pour you, but not pay for a drink."

"Some other time. I'll see you tomorrow."

She walked out checking her phone.

I showered after my class and got ready for what I hoped would be my first lunch with Abby, but I was greeted by her voicemail instead. I decided to just hang out with Berry and Hummel until she finally got back to me, but that finally hadn't come by dinnertime so I sent her a quick text.

Me: Hey, I'm trying to decide what to do tonight. Are we hanging out?

Desperate, I know, but it was also true.

After I finished watching whatever reality show Hummel made me watch, I returned to my apartment to hear my laptop sounding off. I jumped on my bed and saw Quinn's face trying to make contact.

"Hey loser, I thought you were going out with Gabe."

"I was, but he canceled. He has a final tomorrow and needs to study."

"All you Yale peeps are bookworms, huh?"

"Shouldn't you be out with your non-girlfriend, Abby?"

I squinted my eyes at her while trying to take in hers' through the laptop screen. Still bright hazel and still flawless.

"My _non_-girlfriend and I were supposed to hang out, but she's not responding to my messages."

"What did you do?"

"Why do you automatically assume I did something?"

"Experience."

"You called me. Why am I being insulted?"

"Calm down. Tell me what happened."

I laid back and put the laptop on my lap. I could tell she did the same.

"I don't know. We were supposed to hang out last night while I was at work, but we were crazy busy so I couldn't take a break. She seemed fine with it and I told her I'd call her after my last class, which I did and I left a voicemail. Nothing. I just sent her a text a few minutes ago and still nothing."

"I'm sure she's just busy, San. Don't freak out about it."

"I'm not freaking out. I don't freak out. I just don't like it when people say they're going to do something and then they don't."

"Give her a chance to explain before you jump all over her."

"I will. So, to what do I owe the honor of this Face Time session? I'm assuming it's not a virtual booty call."

She laughed at me and held a textbook up to the screen.

"I needed to not be reading this for a minute. Studying sucks."

"Why do you think I dropped out of college?"

"That's a loaded question."

"Ha! Ha! Lucy, Q. Ha! Ha!"

"My last final is Thursday so I was thinking I could be there by Friday afternoon."

"It's going to take you a day to make the three-hour drive?"

"No, but-"

"Just pack up your life before your final and skate after it's over. Get here Thursday instead of Friday. Unless, you have a final date with your guy or something."

"No date and he's not my guy. He's actually dating someone else now too."

I was taken aback at her acceptance of this.

"He's dating another girl?"

"Yeah, he met her before me actually and they've been talking a lot lately. He asked me if it was okay."

"And you said yes?" My surprise was definitely showing.

"He can date whomever he wants." She said_ whomever_ like that's the way normal people actually talk. "That's sort of the point. Besides, she's from Michigan too. They haven't technically been out on a date yet. They knew each other in high school and she ran into him Daytona on spring break. They've been talking and I guess flirting ever since. He just filled me in that she asked him out and wanted to know what I thought about it since they'll both be in the same place at the same time this summer. We're not together, so I didn't see the point in saying I had a problem."

"You seem very okay with this and that shocks me."

"Why?"

"I don't know. It's just a very modern kind of thing and you seem more like a traditional girl when it comes to this stuff."

"How long have you known me? I cheated on my boyfriend with Puck, had his baby, got back together with said boyfriend strictly to toy with Rachel and win prom queen, dated Sam for a while because he was the next big thing before that ended, I almost dated teen Jesus Joe after the accident, and when I got here I hopped on the dating a professor trend. Then, there's what we're doing. Does that sound traditional to you?"

"You're a real fucking mess, you know that?" I winked at her.

"You're right there with me, jack ass."

My phone buzzed with a message.

"Hey, hold on."

I pulled out my phone.

Abby: Sorry, I slept in for the first time in a long time and then I realized I left my phone at my friend's house. I just got it back. Can we hang tomorrow instead? I think I just need a night in.

"She's ditching me for a night in," I explained my look of disappointment to Quinn.

"Nothing wrong with that. She's been cramming for weeks and probably just wants to stare at the TV blankly for a while. Kind of hard to do that when you're there."

Me: I have to work tomorrow. Some other time?

"I just told her I have to work tomorrow."

"Do you?"

"No."

"Santana, why are you doing this?"

"Because."

"You're stupid. You're going to lose your chance."

"Because of one tiny lie."

"I'm not sure any lies are tiny."

"Thanks Aristotle. Look, I think I'm just going to nuke a TV dinner and call it a night. Can we talk later?"

"Sure. I'll see you on Thursday anyway."

"Night, Q."

"Good night, San."

My phone buzzed again.

Abby: And now you're mad at me.

Sometimes liking girls is just annoying.

Me: I'm not mad. I just thought we were hanging out today and then we didn't.

I waited for a minute before finally heading to the bathroom. When I returned, I had another message.

Abby: I really am sorry.

Then another one.

Abby: Just call me when you're free.

I felt bad about lying to her about working. I really didn't have anything to do. I could hang out with her and Q is right. I shouldn't start things off like this.

Me: Now's your chance to get mad at me. I don't have to work tomorrow. I lied because I'm stupid.

I stared at my phone for a good five minutes before she finally returned my message.

Abby: You're not stupid, but this is.

I didn't really know what that meant, but then my phone buzzed again. She was calling me. Wait. Where'd that nervousness come from? I slid my finger across the screen.

"Hey."

"Sorry, I'm not a fan of having an entire conversation via texts when I can just talk to you."

"Okay."

"I really didn't have my phone."

I smiled and lay back down.

"I believe you. I'm just a petty bitch sometimes."

"Thanks for being honest with me about the work thing. You could've gotten away with that one, ya know?"

"Yeah, but it's not how I want to start this friendship thing."

"That's smart."

"I can't take credit. My friend Quinn scolded me for lying to you."

"I think I like this Quinn girl."

"She's pretty awesome. I've known her forever and she's kind of the only one who's skilled at putting me in my place, which is why I plan on keeping you from her as long as possible. You may pick up on her skills and I can't have that."

She laughed and I could swear it sounded even better through the phone.

"She's the one from out of town, right? Yale?"

"Yeah, but she's spending the summer here. No point in either of us going home when we have nothing really to go back too. I'll probably visit my family once or twice, but I live here now and two of our high school friends actually live across the hall from me, so we're all just going to chill this summer before she has to go back to school and geek out."

"Sounds like I'm going to meet her pretty soon then."

"Nope."

"Nope?"

"I'm keeping you away from those people. Trust me. I'm doing you a favor. Plus, I kind of like having you to myself." Shit. That was not something a friend would say. "I just mean I don't want you hearing all the horror stories about me in high school yet. I'm a different person… sometimes… I'm a different person sometimes. I'd like you to get to know this Santana before they bombard you with who I used to be."

"Okay." She paused and I could hear her sigh. "So, since you're free tomorrow after all, do you want to do something?"

"Lunch?"

"Sure. Around 1 at the Red Eye?"

"I'll be there."

"Okay. I'll see you then. Good night."

"Night."

I hung up the phone and an immediate feeling of misery hit me. I forgot at the end there that this is a friend hang and not a date. I guess I don't really understand how what we're doing is different than dating other than the physical stuff, which I'd be fine waiting on if we were actually just taking things slow. God, what is this girl doing to me?


	11. Chapter 11

I own nothing.

Quinn's POV

I checked my last final off my list. I had already packed and said goodbye for now to Gabe and said goodbye for pretty much ever to Jenna as she was now an official member of whatever those Greek letters she's always wearing now mean. I probably should have paid more attention to my roommate. She wasn't so bad. She just wasn't so good either.

When I kissed Gabe goodbye, I couldn't help but think about the fact that he'd probably be kissing that other girl this summer and that thinking made me realize I'm really not the modern girl I thought I was. I know I don't want to be his girlfriend right now. We're going to be a part for three months and then he starts law school, which is time consuming. Then, he actually becomes a lawyer and probably leaves Connecticut to join some big firm.

As I drove to New York, these thoughts stuck around and I figured it was good we were going to be apart because I didn't think I could ever be his girlfriend given all those facts I for some reason just realized. Santana's a better person than me for being able to put up with a law student's busy schedule.

I was happy to hear her lunch with Abby went well and that she was excited they were actually friends. Seems like they're more than friends to me, but I understand why Abby doesn't want to call it what it really is yet. Her fiancé died young and Santana can be a bit of an enigma most of the time. It's usually best to take time to try to get her figured out before you dive in headfirst.

I pulled up to the apartment building to find Rachel and Kurt standing on the curb waiting for me. I double-parked and rolled down the window.

"Hey, the parking garage is around the corner. Santana's standing in your new spot," Rachel explained. "She told us to tell you to get your ass parked already so you can get your shit moved in and you can get chillin' for the summer."

I laughed out loud at how ridiculous Rachel sounded.

"Never do an impression of Santana again," I told her before waving at Kurt who was on his phone. He waved back and smiled and I rolled up the window and drove around the corner, finding the entrance to the garage easily and pulling around to see Santana standing in my spot. She smiled when she saw me and moved aside so I could park.

The garage was full of cars that it looked like no one ever really used and there were no people around. If Santana weren't standing there opening my door, I probably would have thought I was in a horror movie.

"Hey, Q!"

I stood up and stretched, but she didn't wait to hug me. I just laughed and wrapped my arms around her.

"Hey, San."

"I'm glad you're here. I missed you." She said into my hair as she held her hugging position.

I pulled back a little so I could actually see her face.

"I missed you too."

She winked at me and her arms went around my waist.

"So, I know you just got here, but I was thinking…"

"About?"

She leaned in and kissed my nose.

I smiled at her ridiculousness.

"I noticed your back seat is pretty spacious."

I took a step back toward the car before sliding out of her grip.

"We're not having sex in my car, San."

She pouted.

"Why not?"

"Because Kurt and Rachel are waiting for us."

"I'll make it fast, Fabray."

"Not a selling point, Lopez. Help me with my stuff."

She had her head down when we both walked around to the trunk to unload my two huge suitcases.

"What the hell is in this thing, Quinn?" She asked as she lifted the heavier of the two out and basically threw it on the ground.

"Books."

"This whole thing is filled with books?"

"Yeah.

"And that one has your clothes in it?"

"Yes."

"Where's the rest of your stuff?"

"This is pretty much it. I have everything I need in here."

"I'll take your word on that, Lucy Q. Let's go."

We dragged my suitcases over to the elevator that had been repaired at Santana's coaxing. Kurt and Rachel met us at the apartment door.

"Is this all you brought with you?" Kurt asked.

"It's all I brought with me to Yale," I confirmed.

Kurt helped lift the bag into the apartment and placed it in the living room next to the couch. I took the bag with my clothes toward the bedroom and I noticed there was an addition to the furniture in the room. Santana approached from behind and sat her head on my shoulder.

"I thought you could use a place for your stuff. I didn't realize you don't really have stuff."

She had bought another dresser and placed it next to her own.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. I also moved some of my stuff in the closet. I don't think your books will really fit though."

"How about I put the books in here and my clothes in there?"

"Whatever you want, Q. Mi casa as su casa."

I met her gaze before checking on the other two in the room. They were sitting on the couch talking. I looked back at her.

"You know, it's kinda hot when you speak Spanish like that."

"You can't talk to me like that when there are twin losers on my couch."

I hesitated as I thought.

"Are we really going to do this?"

It was her turn to hesitate.

"If you want it to stop, you just have to tell me."

"That's not what I'm saying. We're just going to be living together and you've got your thing-"

"We agreed that we could handle this and that if either of us gets all official with someone, we drop it. I'm still fine with those rules."

"Can we make another rule too?"

"Sure. What's up?"

"I know this is a friends with benefits thing, but I don't think I can do it if you're thinking about her during."

She looked at me again with that concern that seemed to be reserved for only certain people in her life. I had only ever really seen her use it with Brit.

"I promise I will never have sex with you while thinking of anyone else. Honestly, it's not even possible the way you do things to me." I put my head down a little embarrassed for some reason. She used her thumb to lift my chin. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

"If you don't think we should do this anymore, nothing will change. Well, obviously one thing will, but you will still stay here. We will still sleep in the same bed and I'll probably spoon you in my sleep unless you push me off. We'll hang out in the city and you'll read your lame books while I watch TV. We'll still be Santana and Quinn."

"Hey Santana, your guests are getting bored over here! Are we going to go do something or what?" Kurt asked while looking over the back of the couch at us. Rachel's head turned too. Santana quickly dropped her hand from my chin and snapped her head around at him.

"Listen up Queen, you're not a guest. Q here is a guest. You are a nuisance."

"Kurt and I want to take Quinn to the park. You don't have to come, Santana."

"I think I'd like to just hang here with San for a while and get my stuff unpacked. Can we do the park in a couple of hours instead?"

I could feel Santana smile even though she was turned away from me. I took a step forward and moved my hand covertly to the small of her back so that the other two couldn't see my movement. I could feel the tension in her body release as she understood what that touch meant.

"Sure. Kurt and I will go research the stuff we want to show you in the city this summer. There's so much to do."

"She doesn't need an itinerary for the entire summer, Berry," Santana pushed.

"Sounds great, Rach. You guys go do that and I'll get Santana to help me with my stuff here. We'll come over when we're ready."

"Alright, bye for now."

"Bye Quinn," Kurt said sweetly. "Santana," He said less sweetly.

When the door was closed behind them, she snapped around to face me.

"What if I had things I wanted to do with you in the city? You're just going to let short stack plan your summer?"

"Santana, I just wanted them out of the room. I couldn't care less about her plans and I'm pretty sure most of your plans will take place in this apartment; not in the city."

She smiled and leaned in. I leaned in and pressed my forehead against hers.

"So, are you saying there's no sex in public places? Is that a rule too?"

I smiled and kissed her softly at first until I felt her kiss me back. Her arms went around my neck to pull me in closer and we stumbled around the small space until the back of her legs hit the bed. She sat down and lifted her arms straight up. I pulled her shirt over her head before reaching for my cardigan and pulling it off. I unzipped my dress and it slid down to my waist. Her hands went to meet it and her lips went to my stomach.

"Have I told you how much I love kissing this skin?" She said between light pecks. I couldn't wait for her to take off my bra so I removed it myself before lightly shoving her back against the bed so I could climb on top of her. We slid back and while doing so, she removed her bra and tossed it on the floor.

"Why are you wearing skinny jeans right now?" I asked her as I tried to unbutton the four buttons that were there in place of a zipper.

"I didn't think we'd be doing this so quickly," She said as her hands slipped under my sundress and she pulled my underwear as far down as she could for the moment.

"Says the girl who wanted to fuck me in the back seat of my car." I was glad about my clothing choices because her fingers wasted no time. She slid two of them inside me. "Fuck!" I leaned down on top of her and kissed her while letting her tongue dance with mine. Her fingers started moving around in tiny circles and her thumb went to press on my clit. Her jeans were unbuttoned now as I was writhing against her. I tucked my hand between her jeans and her underwear and I could feel how wet she was. I rubbed her up and down and I continued to grind into her creating the friction her body told me she needed. I kissed down her neck and sucked on her pulse point.

"Q, go inside. None of this over the panties crap."

I smirked against her ear lobe and I sucked it into my mouth and dragged my finger over her clit through her now soaked underwear.

"Say please, Santana." I was trying desperately to remain in control, which is not easily done when Santana Lopez is about to make you come undone.

"Q…" she begged. My hips pushed down forcefully. "Fuck! Please, Q." I moved my hand to just where she wanted it and just cupped her center while I continued my movements chasing my own orgasm. "I said please!" She half-yelled and I laughed at her before moving to kiss her and gliding through her wetness. I pushed my fingers inside her and loved the feeling. My body popped up and I used my hips to push my fingers in deeper and curled them inside her. I was already almost there, so I thought it would take her longer, but she came almost instantly after her free hand moved to cover my breast. She massaged it firmly while I continued to grind myself down into her. I wasn't just chasing my high. I was trying to make hers last as long as possible. She lifted herself up and replaced her hand with her mouth and sucked on my nipple. When she used her teeth to tweak it, I came undone. While I was coming, she gently shoved me back and got on top of me. She continued to move inside me while kissing my chest and moving to my neck.

"San…" I couldn't breathe. It was all too much. "Shit! That feels good."

"I want to go down on you," She professed while working her way in that direction. I used my hand to grasp her hair and halt her progress.

"I can't yet. Jesus! That feels good." She looked up at me and at the same time removed her fingers slowly before thrusting them back in. "Fuck!" I screamed so loud I was sure Rachel and Kurt could hear.

She used that moment to move down further despite my protest and her mouth was sucking on my clit making me feel every amazing feeling all at once.

"God, you still taste so good, Quinn." Her tongue was gliding around licking up everything. Her fingers slowed their pace, but continued to move with purpose inside me. She knew exactly what spot to hit over and over and over.

"Ah, fuck!" I came again.

"You know, Fabray…" She pulled her fingers out and lifted her head. I stared down at her as I tried to catch my breath. She sucked her fingers into her mouth and smirked as she withdrew them before her head went back down and she licked some more. "I don't think I can stop until we break a record." She put her tongue on my entrance causing me to twitch.

"What… record?" I basically breathed

She moved back up to face me and her fingers hovered over me.

"Your orgasm record. How many have you had in one day?"

"You would know," I smirked as she leaned down to kiss me. "And we have got to get out of these clothes."

She jumped off the bed and forced the remaining clothes off her body. She quickly moved back to me and grabbed the underwear hanging off my ankle at that point and pulled off the dress that had gathered around my waist. She was on top of me again within seconds.

"What did you mean I would know?"

She sat back straddling me and my hands went to her breasts and I massaged them as her body reacted and started moving against me.

"I meant that you're the one that holds that record."

She opened her eyes and stared down at me.

"It was with me?"

"I know you know the answer to that."

"So, what's the record?"

"How about I don't tell you and you keep trying to beat it anyway?"

We made eye contact.

"I like the way you think, Fabray."


	12. Chapter 12

Again, I thank you for your kind words. You are all being too far too kind. So, because of that and the fact that I'm up early on a Saturday morning for some unknown reason, I'm giving you all Chapter 12.

I own nothing.

Santana's POV:

"Well, we can't go to the park now, Santana. It's dark and I don't really want to get mugged tonight. What took you two so long?" Rachel asked only moments after Quinn and I entered the apartment.

"Chill down, Berry. She's here for three months. You can take her to a damn park for the next 89 days if you want." I sat on the couch next to Hummel and Berry leaving Q the chair.

"For the record, I do not want to go to any park for the next 89 days," Quinn affirmed.

I smiled and winked at her before wiggling my eyebrows.

She shook her head sideways at me, but considering we had just broken not only her record, but mine as well, I knew she couldn't be that annoyed with me. After several rounds in the bed, we made full use of my couch and had another round on the kitchen table. That table had proven to be an excellent purchase on my part. The last round was in the shower so we didn't smell like sex for this Hummelberry hangout and I would never admit this to anyone, but that girl may have more stamina than I do. Exhaustion was about to overtake me and we were only at dinnertime.

"You guys look like you moved all of Santana's furniture around twice. What the hell happened to you?" Hummel asked.

I guess we looked as exhausted as we felt.

"Back off Hummel. I worked last night and Fabray here took a final this morning, drove her entire lame life in a car for a few of hours to this effed up city, and we just unpacked her crap."

"Fine. Fine. Sorry, I asked."

"I ordered Chinese about twenty minutes ago and got enough for all of us. Hope that's okay." Rachel moved toward the kitchen to get out plates and silverware. I motioned to Quinn to move over next to me. She shook her head no, but I glared until she relented.

"Did you just steal Rachel's seat, Quinn?" Kurt asked before taking a drink of his weird, hipster juice drink.

"Yup."

"I like to use Quinn's shoulder as a head rest. Berry's is not comfortable at all due to her size and the fact that her bones stick out everywhere."

I rested my head on Q's shoulder. We'd never been the cuddliest of friends in high school, but I wasn't worried about the two of them reading into anything. They knew Quinn always held a special place in my heart even when we were fighting all the time and they'd commented several times about how they'd noticed a change in me since she and I had gotten back to our regularly scheduled friendship. I even admitted to them once how much I thought having her back in my life on the regular was making me a different person. I took it back almost immediately, but it was out there and they'd made fun of me ever since. I had to threaten to murder them ninja assassin style at least once a week.

Rachel returned from the kitchen and the food from the Chinese restaurant at the end of the block arrived a few minutes later. We all sat around the living room eating while catching up with Quinn's Yale life. Turns out all that sex had made me desperate for food and I nearly ate enough for two.

"So, you like this Gabe guy?" Kurt asked her.

I stopped shoveling food into my face to listen to her response.

"I do. He's sweet. I met him a while ago. We went on a couple of dates then, but he was leaving for law school so we ended it before it got serious. He got into Yale recently so we started up again, but it's still not serious and I don't think it ever will be."

This was surprising to me. We hadn't exactly spent our day catching up with words… again.

"Why not?" Berry asked before eating from her own specially purchased vegan carton.

"I was just thinking about it on the way over here. I just don't see it going anywhere. We're apart for the summer. He starts law school, which is hectic from what I hear. He's got three years of that and I'm still an undergrad. It's just bad timing."

"But you like him. Why don't you just keep talking over the summer and see what happens when school starts back up? Maybe he can handle school and a relationship," Hummel added.

"Kurt, leave the girl alone. If she doesn't see it, she doesn't see it." I didn't know why I felt the need to defend Quinn's decision. She had made a perfectly rational argument, but I didn't like the way Lady Hummel was making her reconsider.

"I'm just saying that he could be the one for her and she's-"

"He's not the one for her." I looked at him like that was the most ridiculous idea I'd ever heard.

"How do you know that, Santana? You've never even met the guy?"

Quinn looked at me while using a fork to pick at the food she wasn't eating anymore. I decided not to remind Hummel that he had also yet to meet "the guy" and just focus on my explanation.

"Because I will know when Lucy Q over there finds the one."

"You will?" Quinn asked me with a strange smile. "How exactly will you know that?"

Rachel and Kurt were both listening intently. I put down my fork and stared directly at her.

"No one knows you better than I do, agreed?"

"Agreed, but-"

"Quinn, I talk to you all the time now. Like every day. We're on the phone or we're texting or we're on Face Time. I've seen your face when you talk about him and it's not there for you. When you find the one or whatever I will know because I will hear it in your voice. I'll see it in your face. Your eyes will light up when you talk about whoever it is and you'll annoy the hell out of me with how much you talk about them. You'll deny there are real feelings there at first until I convince you otherwise. Then, you'll have the epiphany and declare your undying love. It'll be a whole lame thing so yeah, I'll know when you meet the one."

Silence. I looked around at Berry and Kurt who were both dumbfounded. Quinn just stared at me.

"I don't think I've ever heard you talk that much at once without including a single insult, Santana," Kurt offered the silent women in the room.

"Me neither," Rachel added.

Quinn didn't say anything.


	13. Chapter 13

And Chapter 13 is here.

Quinn's POV:

After Santana's monologue, which strangely enough made perfect sense to me, we all sat around and talked and drank. I stuck with only the one drink as I really was exhausted and apparently when I'm drunk around Santana, I need to have sex with her.

We got back to her apartment and got ready for bed together. I laughed at her when she turned off the lamp by the bed and then proceeded to trip into it next to me.

"So, are you only going to sleep cuddle with me or is there a chance you'll cuddle with me while you're still awake?" I asked when she was done wincing in pain.

"I just about broke my ankle. I think you should be the one cuddling me tonight."

"I can be the big spoon."

"Get over here then. I'm fucking tired."

I wrapped my arm around her and tucked my head into her neck.

"I think you're right, you know?" I half-whispered.

"I'm always right, but specifically what am I right about this time?"

"You'll know when I meet the one."

"Oh, that. Obviously."

I laughed into her ear before snuggling back in for the night.

Santana's POV:

I was really starting to get used to having Fabray around all the time. It had been two weeks since she got here and the daily sexcapades were a definite plus, but it was also nice to just have someone around again. One of the benefits to having a roommate who is also your best friend is that you can talk to each other about anything and it's okay. We can fight about doing dishes and picking up towels off the floor and laugh about how stupid we were later.

I still hadn't introduced her to Abby yet and she was growing restless. I was constantly on the phone with the girl or texting her and laughing when she said something funny. Sometimes I'd tell Q what was funny and she would just stare at me like I was a moron for laughing.

"Why won't you let me meet this girl you're always hanging out with? It's getting ridiculous, Santana. You've hung out with her three times this week and none of us have actually seen her. Are you sure she's real? Maybe you're imagining her." Quinn sat on the couch with her legs over my lap.

"First, remove Funny Girl and Perez Hilton from that "us" you just mentioned because I don't think I ever want to introduce her to them."

"Santana, they're your friends."

"Barely and it's not really about them. It's just-"

"You're afraid they'll tell her about Lima Heights Adjacent Santana Lopez who always had razor blades in her hair and an insult at the ready."

This girl just gets me sometimes without me having to explain things. I am constantly surprised at how I don't have to ask for something and she just hands it to me.

The other night we were watching a movie and I really wanted pizza rolls for some reason. She walked over to the kitchen and pulled the box we had bought a week before from the freezer and started putting them in the oven. When they were done, she just sat them in front of me. I offered her the plate.

"I'm not hungry. I made them for you," She stated in her Quinn Fabray matter of fact tone and tuned back into the movie.

"I know I'm always going to be that girl, but I'm glad at the progress I've made since I've moved here. I've only had to mention the razor blades once and that was at a guy who tried to feel me up while I was sitting on a park bench."

She laughed at me and laid her head back and closed her eyes with a wide smile across her face. I wondered what she was thinking about in that moment. As much as I thought I understood her, there were moments like this where I realized I would never fully get this girl. She was complicated and layered and had baggage upon baggage not to mention a daughter she put up for adoption that we've never really talked about because I was worried it would hurt her too much.

I was glad her eyes were still closed because I had been staring for a while when I decided to move out from under her legs and get her body under mine instead. When I was fully on top of her, I leaned in and lightly pressed my lips to hers before pulling away and looking at her again.

"Did you need something, San?" She smirked with her eyes still closed.

"What are you thinking about right now?" I asked and kissed her nose and then her forehead before nuzzling into her neck. Her arms went around my waist and under my shirt. Her hands slid up and down my back.

"That I'm happy."

"Happy, huh?"

"Yeah, for the first time in a while… maybe ever."

I kissed her neck.

"What's got you so happy, Q?"

She nudged me up so I would sit back, which I did and I pulled off my shirt.

"School makes me happy." Her hands went behind my back and unclasped my bra letting it fall in front of me. "Being out of the dorms next semester makes me happy." Her hands went to my hips and tugged on my sweat pants. I stood quickly to remove them. "Those too." She pointed at my underwear. I smirked and pulled them off. I motioned for her to sit up, which she did. "Being here this summer makes me happy. New York is insane, but I love it." I pulled her shirt over her head and noticed she hadn't bothered to put on a bra today, which got me incredibly turned on. I kneeled on the floor and pulled her shorts off gently and tossed them to the floor. I pushed her back and pulled her legs a little more forward so I could take full advantage of my position. "What we're about to do…" I kissed the inside of her thigh before moving to the other one and used my teeth to pull at her boy shorts. I heard her moan slightly when my tongue met her belly button and she lifted herself up so I could pull off her remaining article of clothing. "…makes me happy every time we do it."

"Yeah? Every time?" I asked to her knee as I kissed it.

"So far." Her hand went to my cheek as I looked at her.

"Well, I guess I better keep that trend going then, huh?"

"It's good to have goals." I laughed at her before moving my head down. "I want you up here with me."

I looked back up at her as she moved to lie back down. I moved back on top of her and rested my body between her legs using my arms to hover above her.

"It's a lot easier to go down on you the other way unless you want to move to the bed."

"What happened to the Santana Lopez who never backs down from a challenge?" She asked while nipping at my bottom lip with her teeth.

I squinted at her for a second before a thought entered my brain. I sat up so I was again straddling her and then turned myself so my back was facing her.

"Can we try something?" I turned my head slightly to ask her.

"Okay." I heard her voice quiver and I could tell she was nervous.

"Just trust me, okay?"

"You know I do."

I leaned over and moved myself back so my mouth was hovering over her center, which meant that mine was hovering over her mouth.

"Is this okay?" I asked as I kissed her right above where it counted.

I heard her breathe in and waited for a response. Her hands went to the small of my back and she pulled me down to meet her tongue. "Fuck! That feels good." Her tongue was inside me only for a second before she pulled it out.

"Does that answer your question?" She asked before taking my clit into her mouth.

"Smart ass!" I exclaimed as I moved my mouth to her clit and sucked hard.

"Why did we wait so long to do _that_?" She asked while lying on top of me with her head on my chest and her arm over the side of the couch. My one arm was behind my head while the other was sliding up and down her back, which still had sweat gathered on her spine from our recent activities.

"I wasn't sure if you'd be comfortable with it. I didn't think you'd ever done that with a guy and I wasn't sure if you'd want to-"

She sat up and faced me.

"With a girl?"

"I guess, yeah. Or with me. I don't know."

"Look at you being all shy after sex. You're so cute right now."

I scowled at her as she kissed my cheek.

"I am not cute. I am a hot bad ass bitch."

She leaned into my neck and whispered.

"You're more than one thing, Santana. Sometimes, I think you're everything."


	14. Chapter 14

I still own nothing.

Quinn's POV:

Santana was out with Abby at some café she wouldn't tell me the name of because she was afraid I'd show up and introduce myself to the girl she's keeping from all of us. I kind of wish I knew where they were so I could show up just to see if she was talking to an actual person or just the air in front of her.

I decided to skip a hang out session with Rachel and Kurt. As much as I had grown to like hanging out with them, they can be a bit of a handful and it's worse when they're together. Kurt talks about Blaine and mentions Adam and how much he likes him, but he still loves Blaine. Rachel yammers on about Finn. I guess I can't really say anything because I dated him too technically… twice, but I really don't get what she loves so much about the guy. He's not a bad person or anything and he did do the right thing when he let her go so she could follow her Broadway dreams, but personally I think Rachel could do better.

I opted for a trip to that pizza place Santana loves so much to grab some food and then planned to walk around the city for a while before taking the subway back. I've learned to navigate pretty well in the month I've been living here only getting lost twice. Once, I figured it out and made my way back, but the second time I had to call Santana to come to my rescue. In typical Santana fashion, she couldn't just give me directions on the phone or explain why the GPS kept telling me to walk down an alley that looked like at least 6 drugs users were occupying. She had to show up in a cab so we could drive back and she had to make fun of me for not understanding how parallel and perpendicular streets work on an island when I'm the one who goes to an Ivy League school. I swear I'm about a second away from transferring to some community college just so she'll back off about the pretentious university thing.

After I ordered my pizza by the slice because that's how they do it here, I took a seat and pulled out my phone and inserted the head phones in my ears so I could listen to a podcast one of my professors put together for a class next semester. I wanted to get a head start since I was taking 18 credit hours instead of the usual 15. I liked college, but I figured the faster I could get out, the faster I could get on with whatever I wanted my adult life to be. Thanks to a few AP classes at Lima, I was already a semester ahead. Technically, I was half way through my sophomore year. I'd been toying around with the idea of taking the spring semester off or maybe next fall and doing the semester abroad or just traveling. Backpack and youth hostels and all that terrified me, but also excited me at the same time. I know there won't be time for that once I get a full-time job so if I don't do it now, I'm not really sure I ever will.

Work will take over my life. Hopefully, I'll eventually find someone to settle down with that I'm not actually settling for like I've done in the past and maybe I'll have another baby or two. That part is a little more up for debate given my history.

"Hey, is this seat taken?" I looked up from my phone having been deep in thought and noticed a girl about my age with strawberry blonde hair staring at me and pointing at the chair across from the table. I removed my headphones.

"Oh, no. Go ahead. Take it."

"No, I mean can I sit here? All the other tables are full and you look kind of lonely."

"I was just planning the next ten years of my life." I calmly replied.

"That explains the intense look I noticed, but what explains the look of confusion on your face right now?" She sat down with her pizza.

"I've never really been approached by a stranger in this city before." It was true. Usually, wearing headphones was a sign here to leave people the hell alone. It's the unspoken rule of my generation.

"That I don't believe."

She took a bite and chewed for a moment.

"Why not?"  
"Because you're the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. People have to be hitting on you all the time. Like right now for example." She winked at me. What the hell was happening? A girl's never hit on me before at least that I know of. Was there some kind of sign hanging over my head that says 'I'm currently having sex with my best friend so I'm into girls now?'

"You're hitting on me?"

"I saw you come in. I was sitting over there with my friends." She motioned to a group of three girls and a guy who were crammed into a table really meant for a couple. "Anyway, my jaw dropped to the floor when you walked in looking how you do in that adorable hat/sweater combo and they noticed. Sometimes, you can spot a lesbian from a mile away and other times, it's a messy guessing game. Any chance you could point me in the right direction on that particular topic?"

"You wanna know if I'm gay?"

"I really just want to know if you'd be interested in going out with me sometime. I don't care if you're gay, straight, bi or any other color of the rainbow."

"I don't know."

"You don't know if you want to go out with me or what color of the rainbow you are?"

"Both. Things are sort of complicated in that department for me right now." I paused thinking about how I answered that question. I hadn't really give much thought to how I would identify myself these days. I like sex with Santana, but I don't know if I'd like sex with other girls. Santana is just Santana. Half the reason I think I like our little encounters is because I trust that girl with my life and I know that even though she pretends to be a bad ass and a sex goddess, she would never hurt me.

"Well, I eat at this place this time every week. My friends and I have a weekly dinner hang out thing. So, how about if you think about it later and decide if you'd like to just hang out and keep it casual with us, you show up next week?"

"I'll think about it."

"What's your name anyway?"

"Quinn."

"Beautiful name for a beautiful woman."

"Does that line usually work on girls?"

"We'll see next week. You're the first one I've tried it on. I'm Alexa."

"Nice to meet you, Alexa."

She stood and picked up her pizza off the table.

"Nice to meet you, Quinn. I hope you'll be here next week."

She walked back to her friends and I put my headphones back in and rewound my podcast to the beginning. I did my best to get back to my train of thought, but it was hard given the fact that Alexa and her friends continued to stare at me and she kept smiling every time I caught her eye.

She seems nice; a little forward for sure, but she's a cute girl. I don't think I'm attracted to her in that way though. I don't know if I have a type in general, but I think my type with girls is just Santana at this point.

My phone buzzed and I looked down to see that Gabe was calling. We'd only spoken via texts since I'd been here. I pulled out the headphones and put the phone to my ear.

"Hey."

"Hey, how's New York?"

"It's great actually. I really like it here."

"Don't tell me that. I'll start to worry you're going to leave New Haven."

"Says the guy that almost went to Northwestern." I took a bite of my pizza, which was bordering on cold by now and took a sideways glance at the group who was still periodically staring at me. I decided I couldn't eat while being watched like a zoo animal. I tossed the leftover pizza in the nearby trashcan and walked out with the phone to my ear without turning around.

"It's been a minute since I've talked to you."

"I know. How's Michigan?"

"It's nice being with my family, but I miss campus. I kind of feel like a kid when I'm here and an adult when I'm there, ya know?"

"Yeah, I understand."

"So, I know we said no pressure and all that, but my dad has all these frequent flyer miles that are going to expire in a couple of months. He offered them to me. I thought maybe I could come visit you."

"You want to visit… here?"

"Yeah, I'll get a hotel obviously. I know you're staying with your friend and that it's a tiny studio."

"It's not that small, but yeah it's one room besides the bathroom and the closet." I walked down the street toward the apartment.

"If this is a bad idea, you can just tell me."

He was picking up something in my tone that I hadn't realized I had given.

"It's not like that. I just…"

"Is it because of the other girl I was seeing because that's not really happening."

"It's not?"

"No, I told her last week that I thought we should just be friends. She's cool, but I don't see it happening long-term."

And here's where I become a terrible person.

"Gabe, I'm sorry. Normally, I'd do this in person, but I think I kind of feel the same way about you and I don't want to lead you on until the fall or waste your dad's miles."

"Oh." There was surprise in his voice. "Can I ask what happened? I thought that this no pressure this summer thing was what you wanted."

"It was. I've just been thinking a lot lately and I like you, but I don't really see us together like that."

"Well, thanks for telling me now. I was literally about two clicks of the mouse away from booking a flight," He replied sincerely.

"I really am sorry."

"No, don't be. I get it. I like you a lot and I've enjoyed getting to know you or at least the parts that you let me get to know. I guess I should have seen this one coming. Trying to get you to talk about yourself is hard work Quinn Fabray."

I laughed lightly as I made my way to the apartment building door.

"I talk about myself all the time."

"Basic stuff, but not the stuff that counts if you want to start a relationship with someone."

"Sorry."

"It sucks, but I understand and I hope we can stay friends and not just say that we're going to stay friends, but really do it."

"Sure. I'd like that."

"Okay. Well, I should go tell my dad to give the miles to my brother so he can go surfing somewhere."

"Bye, Gabe."

"Bye, Quinn."


	15. Chapter 15

And one more for this weekend. Hope you're still enjoying the story.

I own nothing.

Santana's POV:

Q was lying on the couch when I got home. She had her nose in yet another damn book. I dropped my stuff on the kitchen table.

"Hey, how was your night?" She asked not looking up. I walked over and moved her legs so I could sit down and placed them in my lap.

"It was good. We had dinner and went to this art gallery thing she wanted to check out. I didn't understand how half of it was art, but she seemed to like it."

"And how is that not a date?"

"We arrived separately, paid for our own crap, and I'm here with you and not with her."

She put the book down in her lap.

"Sorry."

"You know what I mean."

"I do and I'm honestly sorry. I know you want things to progress with her, but you're doing the right thing in not pushing."

"I don't know, Lucy Q. I'm starting to think I'm never going to get anywhere with this girl." My head rolled back against the couch.

"What makes you say that?"

She sat up to put the book on the table and leaned back against the couch facing me.

"She does these things where she has to make it clear that we're just friends. Like tonight, I had my hand on her back trying to usher to from one crap painting to one that I thought looked half way decent and she stepped away and gave me this look like I shouldn't do that. I do that to you all the time. I think I've done that to Broadway Berry over there before. It doesn't mean I have the hots for her."

"True, but it's just a look, San."

My head went to her lap and she began playing with my hair.

"We can do this and it doesn't mean we're dating."

"Yeah, but I don't think were the best example of friends who are really just friends though."

"Ha. I guess that's true. Speaking of that, I don't really think I'm up for it tonight. Can we just sleep?"

"Of course we can just sleep. Just because we're friends with benefits, doesn't mean we have to have benefits every day and night, Santana."

I sat up to look at her.

"Let's not get carried away, Q. I just meant tonight."

She winked at me and I put my head back in her lap. Her hand started to massage my head and it was just what I needed. My eyes started to drift closed.

"I had a weird night."

"Weird how?"

"I ended things with Gabe and I got hit on by some girl named Alexa."

I shot up and stared her down.

"What?"

"Told you. Weird night."

"Explain."

I shifted myself so I could look at her better.

"Well, Gabe called and-"

"Not Gabe. The girl."

"I was at the pizza place and this girl just sat down and started hitting on me."

"How could you tell?"

"Well it was pretty obvious when she said she was hitting on me. She also said I was the most gorgeous women she's ever seen and asked me to meet her there same time next week."

"She asked you out?"

"I thought I clarified that with the whole hitting on me thing."

I didn't know why I was so shocked by this. This Alexa bitch was right. Quinn Fabray was the most gorgeous woman anybody had ever seen. Sometimes, I stared at her while she slept and I just watched as her chest would rise and fall and I'd smile when her nose crinkled or she rolled on her side and put her hands under her face.

"What did you say?" There was a lump in my throat as I awaited her response.

"I told her I'd think about it."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really. Why?"

"I don't know. It's just strange."

"Me getting hit on is strange or me getting hit on by a girl is strange?"

"I don't know. Are you gonna go?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want too."

"Is she hot?"

"God, Santana! Really? I told you I ended things with Gabe in the same sentence and you're focusing on the part of that sentence I couldn't care less about."

"I knew the Gabe thing was coming. This is a little different, Fabray."

"Why?"

"Because."

I was growing frustrated with her and I didn't know why.

"Is this because of us?"

"What? You and me? No."

I stood up and walked to the kitchen to grab a drink.

"Santana, we left this juvenile crap back in Lima. What the hell is the problem? The girl was cute; not hot and I'm not attracted to her. Honestly, I didn't really like how she just came at me and then kept staring at me after I told her I'd think about it. It was like she and her friends were just waiting for me to make a move or something. It was bordering on creepy."

"She creeped on you? Was this at my pizza place? Maybe I should go next week and make sure she gets the message that you don't want anything to do with her skank ass."

She laughed as my temper grew with each step I took back to the couch.

"There's the old Santana."

"I don't want some girl perving on you, Q. I mean you're hot. It's going to happen, but if it makes you uncomfortable, then I don't like it."

"And?"

I sat back down and placed my drink on the table.

"And what?"

"And you're upset because of someone trying to pick me up. Is it because of what we're doing or is it because it's a girl or are you just being a concerned friend?"

"I'm always a concerned friend."

"If you're not going to answer my question, I'm going to bed."

She stood to walk away, but I grabbed her wrist and pulled her down.

"Fine. Just sit."

"I'm sitting."

"It is weird. Not because I'm jealous like that, but because I'm jealous in a different way."

"There's more than the one way?"

"Finally, something Lucy Q here doesn't know."

"Go on, ass hat."

"Classy." I winked at her and then took in a deep breath. "It's like this. You and I hooked up on Valentine's Day and I thought that would be the only time you'd ever be with a girl. You said as much that night. Then, we did it again and this thing started where it's like every day and I know I'm still the only girl you've been with and there's just something to that. It's not like a possessive thing. It's just that it makes me feel special somehow that it's only me you wanted like that even though you could have any girl you wanted. For some reason, you only wanted me."

I looked down at my hands, which I then noticed were clasped tightly.

"You're still the only girl I want like that, S. I don't know what that makes me, but when I see girls on the street, I'm not looking at them like that and when she came up to me tonight, I had no desire to see her naked."

I laughed and looked back up at her.

"It doesn't have to make you anything, Quinn. You're just you and you like who you like and you like what you like in that department." I motioned my head toward the bed.

"I guess that's all that matters."

"So, about Gabe…"

"Oh yeah, sorry about that. I know you liked the guy."

"He's just not the one." She wiggled her eyebrows at me.

"Are we good? You and me? Do we need to stop what we're doing?"

"That's up to you."

"Why is it up to me?" I was confused.

"Of the two of us, who's closer to actually being in a monogamous relationship?"

"We're not even dating. If she even wants to go down that road, it'll probably take years before she'll actually call it a relationship. You'll be married with babies by then." I leaned in and put my head on her shoulder. "Play with my hair again."

"Married with babies, huh? How many babies am I having in this future you're creating?"

"I'm thinking at least two. A boy first probably and then another girl." I realized I messed up when her hand stopped moving in my hair and lifted my head to make eye contact. "I'm sorry, Quinn. I wasn't thinking."

She gave me a sideways smile.

"It's okay. I won't break every time she comes up in conversation."

The Quinn from a couple of years ago would have either burst into tears or torn up an entire room at the mention of her first born, but this Quinn was different. She didn't look broken anymore. She looked thoughtful somehow. Her eyes told me that she meant what she said when she said she was happy with her life and when I looked down at her mouth, I realized I wanted to kiss her in that moment.

I cupped her cheek with my hand and put the other one on her knee sliding it up her thigh. I leaned in and touched my lips to hers. I felt a jolt of energy run through my body and I deepened the kiss. She opened her mouth for me and I repositioned myself on the couch so I could sit comfortably on her lap while I continued to use my tongue to play with hers. Her arms went up my shirt and around my back and I felt my whole body heat up. I pulled back to take a breath.

"I thought you were too tired to do this tonight."

I stared into her eyes and kissed her lightly again.

"I really wanted to kiss you."

She squinted.

"I don't think we've really ever just done that. Not like this at least. We've kissed, I mean really kissed like a thousand times, but it's always led to-"

I slid off her and walked toward the bathroom.

"Not this time. This time I just really wanted to kiss you."

I could feel her on my lips the rest of the night as she just slept. I wasn't sure what was going on, but I was pretty sure I had broken a rule earlier. Friends with benefits doesn't usually mean a brief make out session followed by snuggling into bed together. I stared at the ceiling while I listened to her breathing. Fuck it! Q and I aren't normal people. We never have been and we've definitely never been normal friends. If she was mad about it or didn't want to do this anymore, she'd just tell me. Until then, I'm going to enjoy myself because someday soon, someone's going to realize that she's amazing and they're going to put a ring on it and I'll lose my privileges. As long as we both know the rules, I'm going to keep having earth-shattering sex with Quinn Fabray.


	16. Chapter 16

Quinn's POV:

"I can't believe you've been here this long and you haven't been up here yet, Quinn," Kurt exclaimed in my direction.

"I figured I'd check it out eventually." I was standing behind one of those pay as you look telescopes looking out at the night skyline of the city from the Empire State Building. I looked to my right to find Rachel and Kurt staring out and talking about something, but Santana was nowhere to be found. "Kurt, you want to take a look?" I asked him and he took my place taking turns with Rachel while I walked around the floor checking for Santana.

When I couldn't find her outside, I headed into the gift shop where I found her standing off to the side of a rack of postcards.

"How's the view?" She asked.

"It's beautiful. Oh wait, you meant the view out there, didn't you?" I smirked at her as she took in my meaning. "Why are you in here?"

"Just thinking about buying something." I looked her in the eye.

"You're lying."

"You're supposed to use your superpowers for good, Q; not evil."

"Why are you really in here? The whole point is to look at the view."

"I've seen it before."

I figured it out.

"You're scared, aren't you?"

"What? No. I told you I've seen it before."

"Then, come on out and see it again with me." I went to take her hand, but she pulled back.

"I don't like heights, okay."

I took her hand in mine.

"I won't let anything happen to you, I promise."

"Can you control earthquakes or tsunamis or building collapses due to shotty craftsmanship?"

I had to tell myself not to laugh.

"Why did you even come up here then?"

"Because you wanted to see it."

"I wanted to see it _with_ you."

"Santana, Quinn, there are only a few more minutes before they close. You coming out here or not?" Kurt asked.

"Well, San?" I looked her in the eye again. "I won't let go of your hand."

"Fine, but if we die in a pile of ruins, I'm blaming you."

"Deal."

I pulled her outside at first quickly, but I slowed the moment we hit the door and I felt the cool night air on my face. Her hand tightened in mine and I looked over at her. I smiled and she squeezed my hand telling me it was okay to continue.

"What's with you two?" Kurt asked when he saw our hands.

"I'm not a huge fan of heights, okay? Everybody happy now?" Santana admitted.

"What are you talking about Santana? We took you up here when you first got to New York. You were fine," Rachel peered over her shoulder at us and I cautiously walked Santana toward the edge.

"You brought me here with Brody. You two idiots didn't take your eyes of one another the whole time while I stood in the gift shop over there and played with the plastic tourist NYPD bobble heads Brody just calls members of his family."

"Why don't you two head over to the elevator? I think you're stressing her out," I told Kurt and Rachel and they both nodded even though I knew Rachel wanted to make a comment about Brody. They walked off and I looked over at Santana who was staring at the ground nervously. Once they were inside and could no longer see us, I let go of her hand and moved behind her. She looked up at me in surprise.

"What happened to not letting me go?"

"I'm just moving behind you, Santana. I've got you." I wrapped my arms around her waist and felt her head lean back against my shoulder. I could tell her eyes were closed. "Look, Santana. Eyes opened or closed, it doesn't matter. You're still out here, but I've got you."

It took her a second, but as I rested my head on her shoulder, I felt her head lift up a little and I could tell she opened her eyes.

"Wow!"

"I know."

"It's beautiful."

"I told you."

I went to move my arms so I could stand beside her feeling like maybe she was okay now.

"Hey, where are you going?" She pulled my arms back in place.

"Sorry. No where."

We stood there for another minute while her fingers moved across my arms and we stared out at the city we had both come to love. When they called saying the last elevator was heading down, we headed toward it meeting Rachel and Kurt there. Santana and I stood at the back. She took my hand once again and I rested my head on her shoulder. Kurt turned toward us and gave me a strange face.

Santana's POV:

Technically speaking, I was supposed to be at work instead of taking in a view of the NYC skyline with Q, but I called in sick not wanting to miss her first trip up there despite my very rational fear that the earth will slip beneath my feet and I will hurl to the ground and my incredibly hot body will smash into the ground.

We were on the way to the apartment when Rachel had the idea to stop for ice cream. I really wasn't in the mood, but I also wasn't in the mood to go home alone and since Q and Hummel both wanted something cold, I tagged along. There was a place near NYADA that Kurt recommended so we just headed there.

The place was packed with college kids and I watched as Quinn talked with a few of them while Kurt and Rachel talked with some others. I ordered the ice cream for all of us and when a group got up, I stole their table. The other three joined me and so did this guy who had been talking with Quinn.

"So Leo, you're in school?" Kurt asked him in between bites.

"Yeah, NYU. I'm a neuroscience major," the blonde haired boy offered.

"Great. Another nerd," I muttered under my breath while playing with the ice cream I wasn't eating. Quinn nudged my elbow and I looked up at her.

"Neuroscience? Brain stuff, right?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah, brain stuff. I actually just did research for a paper that was pretty interesting."

"Doubt it." That was less under my breath and I was rewarded with another nudge.

"Go on," Rachel suggested.

"It's about the science of love. You know how when you're on an amazing date or you're in love, everything's brighter or you suddenly have no appetite?"

"Yeah," Kurt admitted before leaning in toward the boy who was sitting between him and Quinn at the small round table.

"If you're at dinner with someone and you barely touch your food, it's a good sign because it means chemicals like oxytocin or serotonin are doing their thing. It's your brain's way of telling you something you should really pay attention too."

"That is fascinating," Kurt agreed and sounded a little too interested. I looked up from the ice cream I was toying with to take in Kurt's face before shifting to Leo's and back. Then, I looked at Quinn. She winked at me. I sighed and laughed a little.

"So Leo, do you have a boyfriend?" I asked and got a sideways glance from Kurt for my very helpful question.

"Um no. No boyfriend. Totally single."

I laughed and dropped my spoon into the uneaten, melted mess. When Leo and Kurt were at a flirting stopping point, they exchanged numbers and it was then that I realized what a player Kurt Hummel had turned into. He still had Adam hanging on a leash and Blaine in Lima still madly in love with him and attempting to atone for his slutty behavior.

We stood and said our goodbyes and I looked down at our bowls that littered the table. Rachel and Kurt had left nothing save their spoons. Leo had eaten about half and Q and I both had what looked like full bowls of milk remaining.


	17. Chapter 17

My boss rewarded my hard work by giving me an extra day off this week so I am paying it forward with another chapter for you today.

Quinn's POV:

"Really, Q? You can be anywhere in the greatest city in the world and you want to be here?" Santana whispered as we walked through aisles and aisles of amazing books. I could smell the old book smell and it reminded me why I'd yet to purchase an e-reader.

"You didn't have to come, Santana." I looked over at her as she made a face at some girl who was staring at us from a table straight ahead.

"I think she likes you."

"I think she's wearing one of Berry's old sweaters." She took my hand and intertwined our fingers. "Be my fake girlfriend for like 5 minutes."

I laughed at her and dragged her to the next aisle.

"Why did you come with me if you're just going to complain?"

"Because I was hoping we'd get it on all silent like in the library. Also, why are we at this library? It's a university library. We could go to the big library. I've been told one exists."

"Did you know I applied here too?" I ignored her sex comment.

"No. I thought you just applied to Yale and knew you were going to get in."

I laughed at her again and the girl who was still staring looked back and forth between us and scowled.

"I had hope I'd get in, but I didn't know. I applied there, here and to a couple of safety schools in the Midwest just in case."

"You got in everywhere didn't you?"

"That's not the point. The point is the reason I chose Yale was because I was scared to live in this huge city. New Haven seemed like somewhere in between small town Lima and a massive city I could get lost in literally and figuratively. "

"You're not lost here, Q."

"No, I'm not. I know this is stupid, but if anyone understands it would be you. I think I found myself here. I thought I had at school, but I think I just like school. I like learning."

"You do like your books." She stood behind me as I stared at a section of biographies. I could feel her arms around my waist and my breath caught in my throat.

"We're not having sex in the library, Santana."

"Sometimes I just like to hold you, Quinn. You're such a horn dog."

"Yeah, that's me. You're the one who hopped in the shower with me this morning claiming it was about conserving water."

I turned around and smiled at her.

"Would you ever consider transferring schools?" She ignored my sex comment.

"Leaving Yale?"

"Yeah. If its school that you like and New York that makes you happy, why don't you go to school here? I hear they have _them_ here too."

"Do you know how much work that would take?"

"I'm not saying you have to do it. I'm just thinking out loud here. You're clearly in love with this library and you love the pizza place that I'll never let you go to alone again. You've figured out your way around already and you have people here you know unlike in Connecticut where you've barely made friends."

"I have friends in New Haven, Santana."

I started to walk away, but she grabbed my hand again and walked beside me.

"None that know you like we do. I know I'm including our past slushy targets in that we. I mostly mean me though."

"Even if I did transfer, it's too late for this year. The semester starts in 6 weeks."

"So, apply here again for spring. It's just a thought, Q. What's it take? Filling out some paperwork?"

"Probably. I still have the acceptance on my computer. I guess I'd just have to remind them that they wanted me the first time and resubmit my application, pay the fee and probably make a couple of calls to admissions to see if I had to send another essay."

"That's easy, lazy. Plus, I kind of like the idea of having you around more."

"I'm around constantly. You should really be sick of me by now. The only time you're not with me is when you're working or with Abby and I'm still mad at you for not letting me meet her yet."

"You really shouldn't be. I've called her twice this week and she still hasn't returned any of my texts. I'm no Ivy Leaguer, but these are definite signs."

"She's probably just busy. She does work, doesn't she? Why don't you just stop by her place and ask her in person what's going on?"

"Yes, she works. I guess I could stop by. I've never been inside her place. I've just picked her up outside the building. She's very guarded, that girl."

"Hey there. Pot. Kettle. Black." I touched the tip of her nose with my finger.

"Yeah, yeah." I let go of her hand as we walked toward the front door of the library. She grabbed it back.

"Why do you keep letting go, Q?"

"Because the stalker is no longer in visual range."

"So, the way ladies have been all over you lately, we should just keep this up until we get back to our place."

I'd been living with Santana for 6 weeks and I had heard her refer to her place as the apartment, her apartment, her place, and her casa. I remembered how she said 'mi casa es su casa,' but she had never called it our place before. It kind of took me aback for a minute as we walked hand in hand down the streets of New York.


	18. Chapter 18

Thank you again for all of your kind reviews. You guys are being too nice to me. Here's 18.

Santana's POV:

"Santana?" Abby greeted me with surprise when she opened her door.

"I know this is probably convincing you to take out a restraining order, but you're not returning my calls or texts so if we're no longer friends, can you just tell me so I know and I can stop feeling like I'm harassing you?" I think that came out pretty much all as one word.

"Aunt Abby, are you coming?" A little boy with dark brown hair popped his head in from what looked to be the living room.

"Yeah, buddy. Give me a minute." She looked back to me. "Santana, do you want to come in and meet my nephew?"

"Do I?"

"Yes, meeting him also gets you an explanation."

"Fine."

I was steel in my expression and body language. My arms were crossed as I entered and walked the few steps forward until I heard the door close behind me and felt her presence next to me.

"Who's this?" The kid asked referring to me while he picked up a video game controller off the coffee table.

"Brian, this is my friend Santana. Santana, this is my nephew Brian. My brother and sister-in-law went on a two-week cruise. They live in Providence and cruise left from New York anyway and they didn't have anyone else who could take him, so they just dropped him here."

"Is that why-"

"That's why. Brian here decided to play hide Aunt Abby's phone for a couple of days. He then changed the password on Aunt Abby's phone because a 6-year old understands technology better than I do, and I had to take it to the store to get them to reset it for me because he then couldn't remember what the password was or he just wouldn't tell me. I got it back and I was going to call you, but this little terror has pretty much dominated my life for the past 10 days and when I'm not with him, I'm working and one of my friends watches him reluctantly. I now owe many favors." She sat on the couch next to him and picked up her own controller. "The only thing that keeps him occupied enough to not destroy my things is this video game. I think I've played it non-stop for a week."

I smiled and sat down next to her. I took the controller from her hands and she looked at me with quizzical eyes.

"You have bad luck with phones. I'll take over for a while. I kick ass at Mario Kart. Why don't you just relax?"

"You don't have too-"

"When's the brat's bedtime?" Brian was already picking out his car on the screen and making engine sounds.

"In about 30 minutes, he'll probably just fall asleep on his own and I'll carry him into my room where he will take up the entire bed and I will crash on the couch. This has been my life."

"I'll play for 30 minutes then."

"You would be my hero."

"Alright kid, let's do this."

After about 15 minutes of this kid kicking my ass, I looked over at the girl who had been quiet since calling me her hero. She was curled up on the other end of the couch fast asleep. Brian had moved to the floor and was about to pass out himself.

"Hey, Brian. What do you say we call it a night?"

"I don't wanna."

"Yeah, I get that, but your Aunt Abby told me that if you go to bed a little early tonight, you can have ice cream tomorrow."

"No, she didn't."

"You calling me a liar, kid?"

"What kind of ice cream?"

"Whatever kind you want."

"But I have to go to bed now?"

"Yes, but you also get to sleep in the living room and you can watch TV until you fall asleep." I was pretty sure I was breaking a million rules with someone else's kid, but I didn't really care.

"Really?"

"Yup."  
"Go brush your teeth or whatever while I get this one to her room."

The kid jumped up and ran to the bathroom. I changed the TV to some cartoon and leaned over to check on Abby. She looked adorable and exhausted as if she hadn't slept since this kid arrived on her doorstep after having had 4 shots of espresso and 6 candy bars.

"Abby," I whispered kneeling down beside her.

"Huh?"

"Come on. I'm putting you to bed."

She opened her eyes slightly and looked at me.

"This is my bed."

"Not tonight. Come on."

I took her by the hand and directed her to what I could only assume was her room. She followed slowly behind until we entered the room where she plopped down on her bed.

"I'll take care of Brian. You go to sleep."

"Okay. I love my nephew, but having him here has seriously put off me having kids for a decade."

I laughed and her eyes were closed within seconds and she was lying on her stomach. I spent the next few minutes getting Brian set up with pillows and blankets and making sure he was basically asleep before I went back into Abby's room to check on her. She was rustling around to get under the covers. I walked a little closer.

"Do you want me to get you anything before I go?"

She opened her eyes and looked at me.

"Thank you for taking care of him."

"You're welcome."

"Do you want to stay?" She paused and sat up quickly. "Wait. Before you answer that, let me rephrase."

"You sound like a lawyer."

"Stay. I want you to stay. I know I've been a crap friend and I'm sorry, but I want you to stay."

"Okay."

"There are clothes you can wear in that drawer." She pointed at the dresser next to the bed.

"I'll change in the bathroom."

A few minutes later, I lifted the blanket and slid beneath it. She rolled on her side to face me.

"Thank you for putting up with me."

I rolled to face her and moved the blanket that had bunched near her face down a little so I could see her.

"You're easy to put up with."

"No, I'm not. I've been terrible to you lately. I'm sorry. This is just… new to me and old to me at the same time."

"I don't know what you mean."

She moved a little closer to me and I could feel her breath as she talked.

"It's been so long since I've felt this way about someone so it's new, but it's reminding me of how I used to feel so it's old too."

I tried to hide my smile, but I really was terrible at keeping my feelings from this girl.

"Do you want me to go?"

"No, I want you to kiss me."

I pulled my head back to check her blue eyes for clarification.

"Are you sure?"

"You've been very patient with me. I think you deserve a kiss."

I placed hair behind her ear not really because it was in her face, but because I wanted an excuse to touch her.

"It's not about what I deserve."

Before I could finish my awesome speech about making sure this is what she wanted and talking about our friendship and what this would mean, her arm slithered around my waist and pulled my body closer. Her lips moved to cover mine and for a second, I forgot how to kiss. It was like I had no clue what I was doing, but she didn't pull away. She just pecked my lips and then used her thumb to pull my bottom lip down moving her lips between mine and then my brain finally registered what was happening. My lips moved in rhythm with hers and I opened my mouth further when I could feel her tongue trying to make space for itself inside my mouth. I wanted to move on top of her to continue this further, but after a few minutes, I pulled back and checked those eyes again.

"Why did you stop?" She asked trying to attach those lips to mine again.

"Because I don't want to stop."

"That makes no sense." She nuzzled into my neck and I rolled on my back so she could wrap herself around me.

"If we keep going, I don't think I could control myself and there is a little kid in the next room. I'm guessing if he heard you scream, he'd come running not knowing the difference between a scream of ecstasy and one from a horror movie."

"Ecstasy, huh?" She lifted up the shirt I had borrowed and began drawing shapes on my stomach with her fingers.

"That feels good."

"Can we take things slow?"

"That's what we've been doing and it's worked so far. I don't see the point in stopping now."

"So, you're okay with waiting?"

"Can we keep kissing like that in the meantime?"

She giggled sleepily into my chest.

"Yes." She tugged on the hem of the shirt. "I like you in my clothes."

"I hope to be wearing them more and then not wearing clothes at all at some point."

I leaned in to smell her hair. It smelled like mangos. I kissed her head and closed my eyes. The last sounds I remember hearing were of the city outside and her steady breathing against my heart.


	19. Chapter 19

Just remember, everything in this story happens for a reason.

I own nothing.

Quinn's POV:

I made the mistake of returning to the pizza place. Santana had gone to Abby's to yell at her for not calling her back and I didn't feel like cooking. I honestly didn't think Alexa would be here. It's 11 at night and I wanted a snack and we had no food in the apartment. I thought I'd take the quick walk to the small restaurant, grab my slice and go, but then I noticed she was there with her friends again. It wasn't the same time next week. She must just be here like every day or something.

I'm not generally a rude person and there's nothing really wrong with her. Her friends seemed nice. They invited me to sit with them so I did. I figured I'd hang out, eat my pizza, and make some excuse about it how it was getting late and that I was walking home.

"I can walk you home," Alexa offered.

Oh crap. I am dumb.

"I'm okay. Really. It's just around the corner." I tried to recover.

"You really shouldn't be walking alone. I promise I'm not a psycho or anything. I just want you to be safe."

I finished my food and when it was time to go, the five of us stood and I thought they'd all walk me home and it would be less awkward, but the others turned the wrong way and it was just the two of us.

"You really don't have to walk me. It's seriously right there. I can see the building from here." We were walking pretty far apart at first and I felt like she was appreciating my space, which was nice.

"Did you ever resolve that complication you told me about last time?" She looked over at me.

That took me by surprise and I tried to determine how to answer.

"I guess. I ended something before it really got started, but that's only part of it."

"What's the other part?" She asked in a gentle tone that told me she actually cared. She was different than she was the other day. Maybe she was putting on a show for her friends to boost her ego. I'm not really a fan of that, but it was nice having someone to talk too when Santana was gone and Rachel and Kurt were hanging with NYADA people.

"It's kind of a long story."

"I've got time."

We arrived at the front of the apartment building.

"This is it. Thanks for walking me."

"Are you going to invite me up?"

I bit my lower lip.

"Are you going to expect something if I do?"

She giggled and hung her head.

"No. Talking. I guess I will expect talking."

"Cause this isn't going to go anywhere."

She looked back up a little disappointed.

"Complications. I get it. I'm okay just getting to know you if you're okay just letting me."

Damn it. How can I be rude and tell her I'm tired and just want to go to bed now?

"One drink and then I'll call you a cab so you're not walking home by yourself."

"Deal, gorgeous."

I shook my head and ushered her into the building.

When I walked into the kitchen to pull out something for us to drink, I noticed a text on my phone.

Santana 9:42: Hey Q, I'm at Abby's. I might be staying for a while. Just didn't want you to worry.

I sent her a quick reply before getting out the glasses and checking on Alexa who had gone to the bathroom.

Me 11:46: Sorry, I just got your message. Another weird night. I went for pizza. Alexa was there. She walked me home and now she's in our bathroom.

Alexa came out of the bathroom and walked a little awkwardly toward the couch. I sat down and handed her a drink as she sat next to me.

"Nice place," She offered.

"Thanks, it's not mine. I'm just staying with a friend for the summer."

"Is she the other part of your complication?" She took a drink.

"Why do you ask that?" I sipped on my drink.

"Because I've been here all of five minutes and I already get the impression that you two are a couple; an old married one at that."

Another unexpected comment.

"Where are you getting that?"

"There's a post-it note collage on the mirror in the bathroom exchanging words I don't generally share with my friends, this couch doesn't look slept on at all, the blankets on the bed are pulled down on both sides and there are two stuffed bears with matching shirts hugging each other on _one_ of the _two_ dressers in this place. Oh, there are also very few pictures around and all of them are of you and some other girl who I am guessing is the friend you live with." She used air quotes around friend.

"Slow down, the Mentalist. That friend is at her almost girlfriend's place right now. We're not a couple."

"Has her almost girlfriend actually been here because if I were her, I'd be pissed that there's not a single picture of me in this place?"

"It's not like that."

"Then, what's it like and you can't just say it's complicated."

Where do I begin to try to explain how Santana and I operate both independently and together? I'm not sure I really understand where the lines are and I know that an outsider would just think we're crazy for attempting what we're doing. I guess I could just start at the beginning and see what someone who doesn't really know either of us thinks. Sometimes that's easier than talking to someone you know, right? I thought about talking to Rachel about this, but I didn't think I could take the look of disbelief on her face coupled with her judging eyes.

"I don't really know where to start."

She leaned forward.

"How about starting at the beginning?"  
"That's kind of the problem. I don't really know where the beginning is."

"Then, start with the part that made it all complicated."

"You asked me what I was… orientation wise."

"I did."

"I don't really have an answer for you."

"That's okay."

"If you would have asked me a year ago if I'd be having this conversation, my answer would have been no."

"I'm guessing there was something involving this girl you're staying with that changed that."

"Santana. We've been friends forever. She's gay. She dated one of our best friends for a while, but that ended. She and I have this sort of push and pull thing in our friendship and in the past it's always kind of gotten in the way, but on Valentine's Day…"

"It got out of the way?" She guessed.

"We were both just kind of over things in our lives and we drank a lot and…"

"I figured the last part out already," She finished my sentence.

"I liked it. I mean I like it. I just don't know what that means."

"Were you two together? I know you said she has an almost girlfriend, but did you ever actually date or anything?" I kind of felt like she was asking more for herself than for me.

"No. We're just having sex periodically. Well, more than periodically now that I'm here."

"And she's your best friend? Yeah, that's not complicated at all," she added sarcastically.

I laughed. She leaned in further.

"I can't seem to understand my feelings on things. She drives me crazy like all the time, but even that's changed to a different kind of driving me crazy, you know?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah."

"She's the only girl you've been with, right?"

"Obviously."

"Is she the only one you've ever even kissed?"

"Like more than a peck? Yeah."

"Do you think you might like to-" She leaned in closer and her hand went to my thigh.

"What are you doing?"

"I was kind of thinking about kissing you."

I backed up and she removed her hand.

"Why would you do that? I told you nothing was going to happen and I'm talking about another girl here."

"I'm sorry. I just thought that if you kissed another girl, it'd help you figure things out."

I moved myself back to the arm of the couch.

"I don't need your help with that. I just wanted someone to talk too about Santana."

"You're right. I'm sorry. I really am. I just like you."

"You don't even know me."

"No, but what I do know, I like. I'm sorry. Can we just forget I did that or maybe I should just go? I'm so stupid sometimes."

I paused to think about how I felt about the situation I had found myself in. I looked at Alexa's face and I could see in her expression that she was both apologetic and mortified at her actions. I felt bad for the girl and even though I knew she wanted to kiss me because she actually wanted to kiss me, I found merit in her argument that if I kissed someone else maybe I could figure out something for myself.

"What you said about me figuring things out, that's not the real reason you want to kiss me."

"No, it's not, but I do think it's true."

I scooted up nearer to her on the couch.

"You know if I kiss you that's all it would be for me, right?"

She again had that look of disappointment.

"Yeah, unfortunately."

I changed my mind and attempted to move back.

"I can't do that to you. I'm not that person."

Her hand went back to my thigh and she leaned in stopping my progress backward.

"It's okay. I get the rules. It's just a kiss."

She leaned in.


	20. Chapter 20

I think I drove some of you crazy yesterday. I cannot guarantee that won't happen again.

Santana's POV:

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I felt Abby shift from the noise and vibration. I had forgotten I had put it in my pocket earlier when I was changing into these comfy sweat pants. I was waiting on a text from Quinn that never came and I failed to remove my phone. I pulled it out gently and looked at the bright screen off the side of the bed so as not to wake the girl basically sleeping on top of me.

I read the message and then pulled the phone closer to my face to reread it to make sure I had gotten it right the first time. That Alexa girl that Quinn said she wanted nothing to do with was in our apartment. That is not okay. I looked at Abby from my current position and tried to figure out how to not wake her up. I slid out with her only slightly shifting and rolling over and ran to the bathroom to put on my clothes. I checked on the kid on the couch. He was still asleep so I left Abby a note on the kitchen counter that she had to buy him ice cream and that I had to go rescue my friend from a possible crazy person. I put a smiley face at the end so she would know I wasn't referring to an actual crazy person and slowly closed the door behind me.

I was able to catch a cab pretty quickly and arrived at the apartment door within about 20 minutes of receiving that text. I could only hope Q was still alive and that creepy Alexa hadn't used her for a Quinn skin suit yet.

I opened the door and was greeted with this half-ginger putting her arm around Quinn and Quinn just letting it happen. Before they noticed me, I noticed the creeper's hand on Quinn's thigh and she was about to move in for the kiss or maybe the kill.

"No me gusta!" I yelled as I threw my purse on the table and approached the couch.

"San, I thought you were at Abby's." Quinn said while shifting in her seat.

"I thought you were having a nice, quiet night in. I didn't know you were planning on a grope fest on our couch."

"Santana, chill!" Quinn scolded as she stood up in front of me.

I didn't make eye contact with her.

"You can go," I told the imposter.

"Nice to meet you too. I'm Alexa. You must be the complication."

Quinn looked at her with an "I can't believe you just said that" face and I looked at her like I wanted to kill her.

"Santana, we were just talking," Quinn's hand reached for mine, but I pushed it away and instead walked to the front door and slid it open.

"Alexa, I'm trying very hard right now to not reference things like Lima Heights Adjacent and razor blades because Quinn doesn't like it when I kick it old school, but I really think you should go. What you were doing was not just talking and I know Q didn't want to do that."

"It's not like that. I was just-"

"Alexa, I'll walk you out," Quinn interrupted and walked past me into the hallway without another word in my direction. Alexa followed her.

I paced and waited and paced and waited for what felt like an hour before Quinn finally opened the door and walked back in. I was standing right there waiting.

"What the hell was that, Santana?

I was on her within half a second. I tackled her against the door and my tongue pushed itself into her mouth.

"Santana!" She yelled before just giving into what was happening. I pushed her arms up above her head against the door and moved my mouth to her neck. She moaned for only a second before she pushed me off her.

"What?"

"What? That's all you've got to say?" She yelled.

"You're welcome! I want to say that. I just saved you from your stalker, Fabray." I moved toward her again, but she moved sideways and walked past me.

"She's not a stalker. I invited her up here and we were just talking about things. She was trying to help me figure some stuff out and then you stormed in and interrupted." She was already over by the bed.

"And again, I say you're welcome."

I followed behind her.

"I was handling it, Santana. It wasn't what it looked like. I didn't need your help."

"Fine. I'm sorry I helped you then. I shouldn't have rushed over here to rescue you."

"No, you shouldn't have."

I stood in front of her and she met my gaze for the first time. I wasn't sure what those eyes were telling me, but I knew they were at least saying that I needed to apologize.

"I'm sorry, Quinn. I overreacted. I got your text and I thought…"

"Thought what?"

"I thought that you're too nice to people. You let them talk to you even when you don't want to because you don't want them to not like you. You let them come to your apartment when you don't even know them really. It's not like I think I _have_ to rescue you or that you can't handle yourself. It's just that I'm pretty much the opposite of you in that area and I have no problem telling people to leave me or you the hell alone because I don't care what they think and I never want you to be uncomfortable."

"Obviously." She smirked and I knew we were okay.

"I'm sorry… for real or whatever. Hug me, Q."

"Ask me nicely."

I scowled at her before smiling sideways and relenting.

"Will you please give me a hug, Miss Fabray?"

She smiled and leaned in. My arms went around her waist and she wrapped herself around my neck. I took a deep breath in before using my hand to move her amazingly soft hair away from her neck and I pressed my lips to it.

"Really? After all that?"

I moved back and placed one finger against her lips. Our eyes met.

"Shhh." I whispered as I moved in to kiss her. This time, it was slow and deliberate. I wasn't trying to claim her or mark my territory like I had done against the door. This one was because I needed to be kissing her.

She pulled back for a moment.

"How was your night with Abby?"

I looked at her with my "you're so dumb" face.

"Q, just shut up, okay?"

"Okay."

I moved her onto the bed and settled on top of her. She went to pull off my shirt, but I didn't let her. This wasn't about how fast I could get us naked. Her hands went back around my neck and I reveled in how kissing her like this made me feel like we were the only two people in the world. It felt like out of 7 billion people in that world, I was the only one she wanted to be kissing.


	21. Chapter 21

You may or may not like me very much after this one.

Quinn's POV:

I didn't know what was happening. By now, we're usually on round two, but Santana wouldn't even let me take her shirt off. She's yet to move any part against me that would give either of us any kind of release. She slowly moved off of me and rolled me on my side so we were facing each other. She only stopped kissing me for a second to move my hair out of the way and our lips were promptly reattached. I made a move of my own toward her neck to try to get her to understand I wanted to proceed further, but she wouldn't let go of my lips.

Finally, her hand slid under my shirt and I thought that we were about to progress in the right direction, but it just stilled on my stomach. I calmed immediately.  
"I just want to kiss you tonight. Is that okay?" She asked as a whisper against my lips.

"Am I allowed to talk now?" I smiled into her kiss.

"Don't be a smart ass. That's my job."

When I woke up, Santana was gone. I started to think this was a trend when she walked in the front door carrying coffee and what looked like a bag of pastries.

"Morning Q."

"Morning."

She wandered back to the bed as I sat up. She presented me with my coffee and set the bag on the table next to the bed.

"We were out of coffee and I know how much you like those scones so I got a couple of those too."

"You're the best."

"Damn straight. Now kiss me before you get coffee breath."

She leaned in and pecked my lips. This is why I am confused. Having sex all the time is one thing, but Alexa's observations had me thinking that maybe there was something else going on here that I was too stupid to notice before.

When she pulled away, I took a sip of my coffee impatiently and burned my tongue.

"Shit!"

"What?"

"It's hot."

"Duh!"

"I burned my tongue, San."

I sat the coffee back down wanting nothing to do with it anymore. She moved from her position on the edge of the bed to straddling me while setting her coffee down next to mine.

"Poor baby! I bet I can make you feel better."

I looked up at her to meet those deep brown eyes.

"Not now, okay?"

She looked like I just shot her puppy.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm just not really in the mood. I just woke up."

She shifted beside me.

"That's never stopped you before. I've woken you up many times with _my_ tongue, Fabray."

I stood up and started walking to the bathroom.

"I just don't want too, San."

She stood and followed me into the tiny space. I grabbed my toothbrush and starting putting toothpaste on it.

"What the hell is wrong, Quinn?"

"I just want to brush my teeth and go for a walk. Why does something have to be wrong?"

"Because you're you. Is this about last night? About that slut who was just trying to get in your pants?"

I tossed the toothbrush into the sink and stared at her.

"What were you trying to do like 30 seconds ago, Santana?"

"That's different."

"Why? Why is it different?"

"Because it's you and me. It's always different with you and me, Quinn. You know that."

I could tell I was upsetting her and I needed to change the subject because when Santana is upset, it upsets me.

"What happened with Abby?"

"Don't do that."

"What? I just want to know how it went."

"It was fine. We're dating or whatever… I think."

My eyes were wide.

"You think?"

"Yeah, she explained what happened and I understood because it was a legit excuse and she asked me to stay over and we kissed and she fell asleep and then I got your message and I came here."

"You kissed her?"

"She kissed me actually."

"You kissed her and then you came here and made out with me?"

"We're not a thing, Q." Her finger pointed back and forth between us.

"No, but you and Abby apparently are."

"No, we kissed once and she said she wants to take things slow. I told you it could probably be years before she wants to be in a relationship and it may not even be with me."

I walked out of the bathroom and searched through the closet for something to throw on quickly.

"We're not doing this anymore."

"Why?" She asked and tugged on my arm so I would face her.

"Because it's wrong, Santana. You're dating someone and you're coming home to me. You kissed her and then you came back and kissed me. It was different when it was just sex, but we're not just having sex anymore."

"So, you're saying if I only kiss you with the intention of fucking you, we can keep doing it, but if I actually just kiss you and it ends there then it's wrong?"

I moved away from her grabbing my, well her, Yale sweatshirt. I had shorts on so I pulled those off and sat on the edge of the bed to pull on my jeans. Before I got the chance, she was on top of me pushing me somewhat gently back on the bed.

"You're not leaving until we talk about this, Lucy Quinn."

"I can't talk about this with you right now. I just need to get out of here."

I tried to move, but she leaned in and pressed her forehead to mine. My lips were pursed, but she pecked them anyway.

"Quinn, what do you want?"

She kissed me again. My entire body was tense. Her hand went under the sweatshirt and dragged up and down my side.

"I want to leave, San."

"No you don't. Look at me."

I opened my eyes I didn't realize I had closed.

"Santana…"

She kissed me again and my mouth began to operate on its own accord, opening slightly with her touch.

"Tell me what's going on in your head."

I thought about what I wanted to say as she drifted to kiss my neck. I could feel the heat build in my body and not just because I was wearing a sweatshirt.

"I can't do this if you're with someone. That's what's going on in my head. I get that you're not together and we're not together, but you're kissing her and I can't kiss you if you're kissing her too. It's not fair to her. It's not fair to-"

She looked at me with those deep eyes of hers.

"What if I'm not kissing her?"

That took me by surprise.

"What?"

She leaned in and captured my lips again. My body moved up to try to meet hers and my arms went around her neck pulling her closer.

"I won't kiss her. I'll tell her I can't be with her like that."

She pulled herself up and my arms went to my side as she lifted off her shirt.

"You really like her, Santana."

She took off her bra and threw it somewhere I couldn't see. Her hands went to her jeans and she unbuttoned them and slid the zipper down at the slowest possible pace.

"I like Abby, but you're my Q."

She moved her hands to my jeans, which were never fully on in the first place and slid them down off my body. She pulled on my arms so I would sit up and the sweatshirt was tossed aside along with my shirt. We were both left only in our underwear as she settled into me.

"What does that mean?"

She kissed my chest.

"It means that I will tell her that I want to be friends."

I pulled her by the neck to bring her mouth to mine.

"For now or forever?"

"That I don't know. I know that I don't want this to stop and I know that I like her. I know that makes me a horrible person."

I closed my eyes and kissed her again.

"This is the last time, Santana."

There was that look again. Puppy. Shot.

"What? Why? I thought-"

"You like someone else, San. I don't want this to stop either, but you have to try with her and we can't do this if you do. It's not because of me. It's because she deserves all of you."

"Do you want to stop now?"

I kissed her deeply and pulled her into me more than I thought possible.

"No. I want one… I want one last time," I uttered unconfidently.

She took her time with me. I could tell she wanted to make sure we both remembered every moment. We didn't talk during like we normally do. There were no smartass comments exchanged. We did more kissing than anything and I could swear I had an orgasm with no actual contact where it counts. Her fingers danced all over my body and her tongue followed suit making every inch of me tingle at the same time. I felt tears well up in my eyes when she finally finished. I tried to hide them, but she noticed and kissed them away. I know she wanted to ask me what they were about, but I think she understood that I couldn't answer her. This was the end of the most amazing, important experience of my life and I was feeling every feeling all at once.

When I finally touched her for the last time, I couldn't lie down and snuggle into her. I backed off the bed and watched her as she looked scared and confused. I stared at her perfect naked form for a moment before grabbing my clothes off the floor, putting them on quickly, grabbing my purse and leaving the apartment with no destination in mind.


	22. Chapter 22

I got an "I think I love you" and an "I hate you" from the same chapter. I must be doing something right. Of course, I say that and then I give you this chapter.

I own nothing.

Santana's POV:

It had been a couple of weeks since my final time with Quinn Fabray. I had spent most of those nights at Abby's. Quinn slept in the apartment when I wasn't there and when I was, she was either on the couch or she'd come up with an excuse to stay with Kurt and Rachel. She said something about wanting to give Abby and I space in case she wanted to stay the night, but I didn't think that was the whole truth.

Part of me wanted to pull it out of her. Get it all on the table, but the other part of me was terrified that if we did that, we'd end up in a conversation or a full-on fight we'd never recover from. I finally understood why people say friends with benefits is a terrible idea. As mature as you can be in these situations, it's still awkward when it's over.

"Hey, I was thinking that maybe we could hang out with your friends tonight," Abby recommended as she poured coffee into my cup.

We had woken up early because of a car alarm going off outside her place and just decided to start the day instead of trying to fall back asleep.

"My friends?"

"Yeah, you know those people you always talk about, but I'm not allowed to meet? Those people exist, don't they?"

"Yes, they do." I confirmed.

"We did the friends thing for a while and we've been doing the dating thing for a couple of weeks now. I think I can take the stories about old Santana by now."

"I know. Now's not the best time though." I thought about introducing her to Quinn given our current arrangement where we're awkward around one another.

"I haven't even been to your apartment, Santana. It's starting to feel like you're trying to keep me away from the rest of your life."

I moved with my coffee over to the couch. She followed close behind and sat next to me.

"It's not like that and you know it."

"You said you didn't want me to meet them at first and I got that, but seriously, we're together-" She stopped herself.

"We're together?" One of my eyebrows lifted.

"We're dating."

I nodded as she backtracked.

"I'll talk to Rachel and Kurt and see if they're available this weekend."

"Great. What about Quinn?" She took a sip with her eyes locked on mine.

Abby saying Quinn's name sounded so strange to me.

"I don't know if she'll be able to do anything. She's been busy lately. I haven't even seen her that much."

"I thought you two were attached at the hip."

I took a_ necessary_ drink of my coffee.

"She's got a lot going on right now. School starts back up soon and she's still trying to apply for internships or whatever, but she's behind and I don't know… I don't think she really wants to go back to New Haven. She likes the city and I think she feels alone when she's there. So, she's just spending a lot of time wandering around."

"Taking it all in?"

"Yeah, I guess. She actually got into Columbia last year. She chose Yale because she was scared to live here. She spends a lot of time walking around the campus. She loves that freaking library. It's like she thinks that's the only place that has books in this city."

"How does she even get in? It's for students and faculty only."

"We have a lost and found at work. We get a lot of college students."

"You stole IDs?"

"Borrowed. I put them back and exchange them for different ones to avoid detection."

"You're a good friend."

She set her coffee down on the table and I took that as my cue to do the same.

"Sometimes I wonder."

"Well, has she had a real tour of the campus?"

"I don't think so, why?"

"Because I've gone there for 5 years now. Maybe I could show her around like officially and demonstrate why it's clearly a better choice."

"Why? She goes to Yale."

"Maybe she'll transfer here. That would be great for you two. You'll have your best friend closer."

I thought about having Quinn here all the time and I kind of liked the idea.

"It's a little late for her to transfer."

"Santana, I'm trying to find an excuse to hang out with the most important person in your life. Can you throw me a bone here?"

I laughed at her and leaned in quickly to kiss her. We had progressed a little beyond kissing over the course of the last two weeks, but when Abby said slow, she meant slow. I was trying to be the good person who understood what that meant to her, but it was getting hard to control myself. We had talked about Kate several times, but we never talked about her experiences after Kate after that time in the café. I had no idea how slow she took things with them. Did she go too fast with one and it left some kind of scar? Did she even have sex with the girls she dated after Kate? Abby wasn't making it easy on me either. Each time we had gotten to a point where I thought we were about to take things further, she had slowed to down.

She deepened the kiss I had started and moved to straddle me on the couch. My arms went around her and pulled her in closer. She was only wearing a white tank top and I could see her nipples beneath it. Her pajama shorts were so short, I could almost see everything if I looked at a certain angle. I moved my mouth down to her neck and she leaned in and grabbed my hair.

"God, this feels good." I told her as I continued my assault down her chest. I placed my mouth over her nipple and blew hot air through her shirt before lightly touching it with my teeth. I heard her breath hitch and she began to move her lower half against my body. "Do you want me to stop?" I asked.

"No."

I wasn't sure what made her feel like this was the time to take things further, but I suspected it had something to do with me letting her in more by meeting my friends.

I moved swiftly picking her up and placing her down on the couch before practically jumping on top of her and kissing her. Her hands moved under my shirt and around my front to cup my breasts.

"God!" I exclaimed and sat up straddling her again while she massaged my nipples under my shirt.

"Take your shirt off," She half-ordered and half-begged, which turned me on even more than I already was. I had gotten used to having sex all the time and since Quinn and I had stopped, my body seemed to be begging to be touched and it reminded me about that pretty much every second.

Her plea was all I needed to pull my shirt off hastily before placing my hands over hers to press them into my body even more as I began to rock against her.

"Abs, if we go further, I won't want to stop."

Her hands moved down my body to my shorts, which were really her shorts. She snapped the elastic.

"Off."

I stood and pulled my shorts down leaving me only in my underwear.

"Not here," I suggested not wanting our first time to be on a couch.

I reached for her hand and pulled her up. I kissed her all the way back to the bedroom and pulled her shirt over her head before lying her down and sliding her shorts off.

"I've wanted this since I first saw you on that subway," She admitted and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"You could have told me that a long time ago and saved us both some time." She kissed me and wrapped her arms around my body. When she pulled me down, I felt my breasts hit hers for the first time and it sent pulses through my body. I knew I had to ask one question before I could continue. "Are you sure?" She looked at me with those blue eyes and nodded. "Abs, I need you to say it. I need to know this is okay."

"I know you're trying to be all noble right now, but I want this, Santana. I'm done waiting."

I moved off of her and gently tugged her underwear down her legs. I pulled her to sit up and she kissed my stomach while pulling mine down my thighs. I kicked them off the rest of the way and I rolled over on my back and she was suddenly on top of me.


	23. Chapter 23

Quinn's POV:

I wasn't intentionally avoiding her. I really was just trying to give the two of them the space they needed to start their relationship. I knew Santana liked her and even though I've never met her, I could tell she was a good person by the way San always talked about her. I've been trying to be the better person in all this and I know that if Santana and I are sleeping in the same bed, one of us will roll onto the other while we're sleeping and I'll end up waking up to Santana between my legs because that's what our recent history tells me will happen. Santana's offer to just be friends with Abby caught me off guard, but when I asked if the friends thing would just be for now, she didn't know. I can compartmentalize pretty well, but I can't just keep having sex with her if she has something she's waiting on and hoping for. I thought I could when this all began, but I guess I'm not as good at compartmentalizing as I thought.

"Hey, how are you?" Alexa asked me as she sat down with her pizza.

"I'm okay. How are you?" I asked before taking a bite.

I asked her to meet me here to discuss in more detail the aftermath of what happened that night. When I had walked her out, I thanked her for the talk and told her I'd call her. I stayed downstairs for a while thinking about what she had said and trying to figure out what was going on with Santana. I didn't call Alexa right away because I didn't really know what to say. I finally just sent her a text because that's easier than talking and I asked her to meet at the pizza place.

"I'm good. Still sorry for my part in what happened," She apologized.

"It was my fault," I admitted.

"No, I knew the score and even so, I shouldn't have tried to kiss you the first time. I just get eager sometimes. I'm new to this whole thing and I think I'm just trying too hard."

"New to what whole thing?" I asked her after taking a drink.

"I just came out like a couple of months ago. Told my parents, my friends and some people at work. I always knew, ya know. It's just that now it's okay for me to check out girls and flirt with them because the rest of the world knows. Before, I had to stare in silence and hope I didn't get caught."

"So, in two months you went from not even talking to approaching strange girls in pizza places and asking them out?"

"Like I said, eager. I think it's just that now that I can, I'm trying to take advantage of it." She paused and her eyes grew wide. "Not like that. I just like you for some reason. I wasn't trying to take advantage of you."

"I know. If anything it was the other way around." I looked down at my plate.

"I told you I knew the score. I really did just think it could help since it's what helped me figure things out."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I had a Santana type complication of my very own. Sort of. We didn't have sex. She was a friend and we kissed a couple of times and I told myself it was just her, but then I went to a club in Brooklyn alone at age 16, which I do not recommend by the way and by the end of the night I was making out with some college girl who thought I was also a college girl."

"And then you knew?"

"Yeah, but that was how it was for me. I think it's different for everyone. Honestly, I don't think you need to kiss a random girl at a club or even me I say reluctantly." I laughed lightly since she mumbled the last part of that sentence so I could barely hear it. "And I don't think you need to worry about this right now since you've got one big- well small in stature, but big Spanish speaking complication to work out already. Maybe tackle that and then move on to the identification thing. Just my two cents."

"That's a lot for just two cents." I mocked her.

"I know I came on strong and I hope you understand why. Not that it's an excuse, but it is what it is and I know you're thinking about a lot of things right now, but I am hoping that maybe you will also consider thinking about me as a friend. I promise not to try to kiss you again… unless you want me too that is."

I smiled.

"I'll think about it." I smiled again and she knew I was kidding.

I walked into the apartment expecting to have a good night's sleep in the bed when I caught Santana in the kitchen preparing a solo dinner.

"Hey," She greeted.

"Hey, I thought you were staying at Abby's tonight."

"I've been staying there a lot lately and I just thought I needed a night to myself."

"Oh, okay. I'll crash across the hall then," I offered.

"That's not what I meant, Quinn. I'll sleep on the couch tonight if that's what you're worried about." She slid a pancake from a frying pan onto a plate. "Breakfast for dinner night. You want one or five?" She knew I had a thing for breakfast food especially when it's served at dinnertime. For some reason, it just tastes better.

I smiled at her and moved to the couch to sit.

"I'm good. I had pizza earlier." I failed to tell her whom I had pizza with. Nor did I mention the topic of our conversation.

"Okay. Well, more for me then."

"So, how are things with your lady?" I asked not sure what I was hoping to learn.

She sat at the table and poured syrup on her pancakes.

"They're good. She's still not technically my lady. Well, she may be now. I don't know."

"Okay…"

"She said something about us being together, but then she retracted it and said we're just dating and then-" She was looking down at her plate and halted her fork in the pancake.

"And then what?" She looked up at me and I could tell without words what she meant. "Oh." It came out as a sigh more than an audible word.

"I just don't know if we can talk about this stuff now. I mean, can we? I could really use a talk right now, but I know things are weird with us and I want to be fair to you."

"Come over here and talk to me." I tapped the spot next to me on the couch. I was determined to be mature about this situation I still didn't fully understand.

She lifted her plate and sat down next to me taking a bite before speaking.  
"So, we finally… you know. This morning."

"I'm happy for you guys." She had this look on her face I couldn't comprehend. "Am I happy for you guys?"

"It's just… kissing her is great. Other things are also great, but the sex wasn't so much great."

"Oh."

"It was fine. I mean, it was okay. It just wasn't-"

"Great?"

"Yeah. Am I a bad person for telling her I wanted to spend tonight alone after our first time?"

"What did you say to her?"

"I told her it _was_ great because I didn't want to hurt her feelings. Fuck. For all I know it was bad for her too and she lied to me when she said it was great. I thought she…, but I don't know. I mean, I faked it… twice."

"You faked it? Santana!"

"What? It wasn't happening and it was… this is too much information for you, isn't it?"

"Just talk. If I want you to shut up, I'll tell you."

She shoved a piece of pancake into her mouth.  
"Let's just say she was working really hard. It happens sometimes. Not usually with me, but it happens especially with girls."

"Why's that?"

She set the plate down on the table.

"Think about our first time."

"Um… okay."

"Think about our last time."

Hearing her say it that way made me sad.

"Okay."

"Which time was better?"

I smirked at her.

"Is this a trick question?"

"Ha, no."

"The last time."

"Guys get off when they're pants rub against them a certain way. With girls, it's different. It takes time to get to know the other person's body and what they like. So, sometimes in the beginning, there's more okay sex or sometimes more faking it while hoping it gets better."

"Wait… is that how it was with us? Did you fake it that night?"

She smiled at me.

"No, I never had to fake anything with you."

"Liar."

"You are apparently just good at everything you do, okay? Now get your big ass head focused up."

"Sorry, I was just curious. I'm sure you're right and it will get better. I mean when was the last time she's even had sex? It's probably been a while. Maybe she's just out of practice." See? Mature.

"I guess. I just needed some space to get my head together. I told her I had plans with you tonight that I couldn't get out of. We're spending the day together tomorrow though. You're invited by the way."

I perked up at that.

"I'm invited?"

"Actually, you're kind of the guest of honor. I may not even be invited."

"What?"

"She wants to meet you and give you a tour of Columbia. It's her school and she wants to try to convince you to transfer or marry the university. I don't know."

"Are you okay with that?"

"Yeah, it's time you guys met. Are you okay with it?" She stared at me and I could tell she was trying to read my expression.

"Yeah, I want to meet this girl. Maybe I'll give her some tips on how to take care of you in the bedroom."

"I will ends you, Fabray."

"Now I know you're lying."


	24. Chapter 24

The long awaited meeting is about to commence.

I own nothing.

Quinn's POV:

"Abby?" I hoped I was greeting the right person. She was blonde and about my height. She was definitely attractive so I could see what seemed to drive Santana to subway stalk this girl.

"Quinn, I take it." She put her hand out for me to shake, which I did.

Santana setup this meeting for us even though she couldn't attend. She said she got called into work, but I was convinced she didn't want to be here when the two of us met for some reason that only really fits into Santana logic. We were standing outside the library, which I now frequented weekly thanks to Santana's borrowed IDs and I had borrowed and returned books, always making sure I brought them back on time. I didn't officially have a New York address so I couldn't just borrow them as myself and I cannot afford buying all the books I want to read or at the very least flip through.

"It's nice to finally meet you after San's been working so hard at keeping us apart." I clutched my bag and motioned for us to walk down the street.

"Yeah, she's a little crazy, huh?" She added.

"It's endearing and annoying at the same time," I remarked. "So, where are we going? I've walked around here a thousand times, but never with an official Columbia Law student."

She laughed lightly and pointed ahead.

"Well, you've obviously met Butler Library. That's my building over there." She pointed across the street. "But you're not going to be a lawyer, are you?"

"No."

"Okay. Well, have you been to the University Hall yet?"

"I haven't really been inside any of the buildings other than the libraries. I just like walking around."

"Well, I'll take you there first then. I can take you to one of the dorms. I have a friend whose brother lives in one of the better ones. I'm sure he'll let us check out his room. I don't know if you'd want to live in a dorm if you do end up transferring."

We continued to walk toward 116th Street or what I had noticed was called "College Walk" when you're actually on the pedestrian part.

"I don't know. I guess I haven't really thought about that part. I did the dorm thing at Yale so I feel like I got the experience. I have an apartment setup for the semester when I get back." That apartment situation was in limbo considering that even though my mom signed the lease, I still had to go to New Haven sometime before school started to finish filling out the paperwork and turning in the rest of the deposit we owed. I'd been putting it off for the past couple of weeks just like I'd been putting off just about everything else in my life recently to focus on enjoying my summer.

"So, are you really considering transferring here or are you pretty sure you're going back? Not that it matters. I'll still show you around, but I know Santana wants you here."

I paused as my eyebrows moved together on their own.

"How do you know that?"

"Because she's said as much. I've really only known her since you've been visiting, but she's brought up that it's going to suck when you head back to Yale."

That felt good to hear.

"I guess we've kind of gotten used to being in each other's lives everyday again. In high school, we were always involved in the same activities and the school wasn't that big so we had a lot of the same classes. You get used to talking to your friends everyday in person and then you go to college and they're not there. When you go on breaks, you get surrounded by them again and then when they're gone, it's like you've lost a limb or something."

That was definitely true. When I had first gotten to Yale, everything was new including the people. It was exciting going to class and following Jenna to parties under the guise of meeting new people. As great as it was being out of Lima and in a new place where I could reinvent myself and was no longer the teen mom or the girl who once had pink hair and hung out under the bleachers or was temporarily wheel chair bound, I still felt like I was missing something. It wasn't Santana specifically. It was more the idea of losing the people around me who did know those things and all the crazy things I did and for some reason still chose to call themselves friend. During the times I had been around those people again, it felt like a part of me that was missing was suddenly back and then when I returned to school, it was gone again. Being in New York with Santana, Rachel and Kurt was teaching me that you can grow with people. You don't always have to lose them when you change.

"So, Santana's like an arm or a leg?"

"Sometimes she's both." Was that too much?

She glanced at me with her bright blue eyes and again I understood Santana's attraction. She was nice and genuine. She also appeared to be pretty honest and direct, which I was about a million percent sure Santana both appreciated and got annoyed with in equal measure.

We walked for a while and it was getting into late afternoon. Abby had done her part in convincing me that this university was a good one and I felt like I could call it home for the next three or so years. She showed me the dorm and it was slightly smaller than the one I shared with Jenna, but it was nice. She seemed to be going above and beyond in her explanation of the on-campus accommodations. I kind of got the feeling she wanted me out of Santana's studio if I moved here so she could have some private time with her without me on the couch watching TV. I understood though. I wouldn't want someone else sharing that space while I was attempting to start a relationship with the other occupant, but that did mean that if I decided to transfer, I would either be back in a dorm or crashing with Rachel and Kurt until I found a place in the city.

"So, give it to me straight." She took a bite of her pretzel we had stopped for since we had both skipped lunch in favor of the dorm tour.

We were sitting on a bench on the South Field. I took a drink of my water before answering.

"What do you want to know?" I shrugged my shoulders.

"I like her."

"You should. She's pretty awesome, but don't tell her I said that."

"Is she going to hurt me?" She was sincere in her delivery as she looked at two guys playing Frisbee.

"I don't know. I know she likes you too and that if she does hurt you, it won't be intentional, but I cannot predict the future especially when it comes to Santana."

"If you can't predict the future with her, who can?"

"I don't even think God has any control over that girl." I paused trying to figure out how to define Santana to the girl she was dating. "She's been through a lot in a short time and most of it relates to being gay and how people took the news. I'm sure it's that way for a lot of people when they come out, but Santana is just this person who feels everything. You'll never hear her admit it, but she's one of the most sensitive people I've ever met. She keeps it hidden from almost everybody, but I can tell by how she reacts to things sometimes when she's really hurting. Her grandma was one of her best friends and she disowned her when she told her she was gay. I don't know that she'll ever get over that. She didn't exactly have a choice in how she came out either. It was done for her, which I know still messes with her sometimes. Most people just have to tell their friends or parents. She had to tell the entire television audience of a voting district."

"What?" She took another bite.

Oops.

I filled Abby in on the details. Maybe I shouldn't have, but she was curious and the conversation was already out there. I also explained how strong Santana was during that whole thing and how when she was in a relationship, she was all in. I hoped that by explaining that part, Abby would understand that Santana was worth being called girlfriend.

"Hey Abs, what are you doing here?" A boy with blonde hair approached with a backpack slung across his shoulder. Abby stood to hug him.

"I'm taking this one on a tour to try to convince her to leave Yale and come here instead."

"Oh, is she your girlfriend?" He asked motioning toward me with his head and she pulled out of the hug.

"No, this is Quinn. She a friend of the girl I _am _dating though. Quinn, this is Brent. Brent and I had a class together a while back and stayed friends for some strange reason." She gave him a funny, mocking face. He reciprocated.

"Hi, Brent."

"Hi, Quinn." He put his hand out for me to shake, which I did.

"So, you are_ actually_ dating someone? Good for you."

"Yeah, yeah."

"So, you go to Yale?" He looked at me.

"Yeah, I love it here though."

"It's a great school and the location's not bad either." He looked around at the city.

"Very different from New Haven," I offered.

We stared at each other for a second with Abby looking between us.

"Should I leave you two alone?"

I laughed and stared at the ground.

"If you maybe want to check out the not lame places around here, I could show you sometime. I'm sure Abby's only taken you to the education related buildings, but there's a lot of fun stuff that happens here too."

I thought about it for a second and just decided to go with it. At the very least, it would give me an excuse to get out of the apartment for a while one day and at the most, I'd like this city even more and it would help me make my decision.

"Okay. Yeah, that sounds like fun."

"Can I get your number?"

"Sure."

We both got out our phones and exchanged numbers while Abby just smiled as she looked on; proud of herself for apparently being in the right place at the right time to introduce us. After Brent walked off with a smile on his face, we started walking back toward the subway when our phones sounded off at the same time.

"I'll let her know we're on our way back to the apartment," I told Abby.

"I thought we were just going to meet your friends somewhere for dinner. I've never been to her place. Meeting all of you and going to her apartment on the same day, you sure I won't scare her off? Maybe I shouldn't risk it… things are going well so far." She smiled.

"Santana's worth the risk."


	25. Chapter 25

I own nothing.

Santana's POV:

Thanks to someone calling in sick, I had to go into work. I tried to convince Abs to postpone her walking tour of the school with Q, but she wasn't hearing it and neither was Quinn. I guess that was really my fault for not introducing them sooner, but I do what I do.

Luckily, we were slow so I was able to head out after a few hours. I wasn't so much worried about the two of them together as I was terrified. Fabray knows all my secrets. All of them. She knows how I acted in high school and how I'm a pain in the ass most of the time. She knows I secretly like Katy Perry because she's seen me dancing around our apartment to "Last Friday Night" and she laughed until I heard her and promptly changed the song on my IPod forgetting I wasn't on shuffle. I was on her album, which meant it was just another one of her songs that started and my secret was out. She knows how heartbroken I was over Brit both times things didn't work out and how I dated a lot of guys to try to make the gay go away even though I didn't really like any of them. Maybe a couple as friends, but that's even a stretch.

I sent a text to both of them letting them know I was home and asking when they'd be wrapping up so I could get the details. It was agonizing waiting for one of them to reply because each moment I was waiting was filled with another secret I was worried Quinn might share. A few moments later, Q texted back.

Quinn: We're heading to the apartment now. Back soon.

I didn't think about them coming back here. I thought we were just grabbing dinner. Abby's never been to our apartment before. The place wasn't a disaster area, but it wasn't entirely clean either. I quickly rushed around picking up clothing that was scattered and tossed it in our hamper. I actually placed our basically shared Yale sweatshirt in there not because it was dirty but because I think Abby's seen me wear that thing a million times by now. I half-cleaned the dishes in the sink and put them on a shelf hoping no one was going to be cooking later.

After Q and I talked last night, we fell asleep separately. I took the couch and I let her take the bed after she argued with me about it for about 15 minutes and finally just gave up. I had gotten up once to go to the bathroom and drifted over to look at her for a minute before returning to the couch. I've always liked watching her sleep. I used to do it when we had sleepovers in high school too. It was true that we weren't always good to one another, but she had gone through so much in such a short time that watching her in peaceful sleep made me happy because at least for a few hours each night, I knew she was okay. She shifted a little and I could see she was wearing a pair of my old cheer shorts. We rarely paid attention these days to whose clothes we were wearing. I looked down and noticed I was in an old t-shirt that belonged to her. She shifted again and her hand moved to scratch her stomach and I remembered the time I told her I loved kissing her skin.

I walked back over to the couch and resumed my attempt at sleeping, but my mind was again wandering to the morning when Abby and I finally shared our first time. I guess finally really isn't the right word since we've only been dating for a couple of weeks and she wanted to take things slow. I expected that she would want to wait until we were officially a couple or until we had exchanged "I love you" over a romantic dinner or something like that. As my hands went beneath my head and I stared up at the ceiling, I heard Quinn shuffle around under the covers. I sat up to check on her and she had a look on her face that told me she was not having the sweetest of dreams.

I got back up, walked over to her and sat on the edge of the bed. She was lying on her back now so I gently placed my hand over her stomach. I just sat there for another moment until I felt her breath slow and her face returned to its normal sleeping expression.

I walked back to the couch and sat there again contemplating my morning with Abby. Her hands had always felt amazing to me when they were around me during a kiss or when one was linked with mine as we walked down a street, but something about them on me while we were in bed just felt off. I chalked it up to an awkward first time and Quinn was right, Abby's experience had been limited lately. I couldn't entirely blame her either. I wasn't exactly encouraging her to try something else when I realized things weren't really working how I needed them to work. I just kind of let things happen regardless of the fact that it wasn't really doing anything for me.

I swept dust off of some surfaces with my bare hand and headed to check on the bathroom. Surprisingly, for two girls, it wasn't a hot mess. Q and I had developed a system left over from our traveling days during cheer that seemed to hold in present day. I noticed the post-its on the mirror with messages we'd left each other randomly.

She wrote: You're ridiculous.

I wrote: You love it.

She wrote: Falling asleep without you sucks sometimes.

I wrote: I really am the best big spoon, huh?

She wrote: Have fun at work tonight. Make lots of money so we can throw it on the bed later and roll around.

I wrote: I always knew you were a gold digger, Fabray.

I laughed at that one remembering how that night I made about a couple hundred bucks in singles and fives and when I got home around 3am, I woke her up by dropping them on her face before I jumped on top of her and then the rolling commenced and money was only a part of the reason why.

I read through the rest of the notes and straightened up our toothbrush holder and towels hanging on the rack Q had to pick up from Target because after a rather intense round in the shower one morning, I wanted another round just as intense and I basically threw her against the rack that was there when I moved in. She had a bruise on her back for about a week, but I didn't hear any complaints.

I smiled at that thought before something else entered my brain.

Wait. Who am I dating again?


	26. Chapter 26

Quinn's POV:

When took the subway back and as we passed the bakery a few blocks from the apartment, I noticed Alexa standing behind the counter. She had mentioned she worked here during one of our previous conversations and even though I knew she didn't see me, I thought I should at least say hi since I did think she and I could be friends as long as she didn't keep trying to kiss me every time she saw me.

"That's a friend of mine. Do you mind if I go in and just say hi before we head to the apartment?" I asked Abby and motioned toward Alexa with my finger.

"Sure." She followed me as we crossed the narrow street and walked into the building.

"Hey stranger," Alexa announced when she noticed I had entered.

"I know. Long time, no see."

"Look who's stalking who now," She mocked as she placed a tray of scones inside a case.

"Whom," Abby interjected.

"I'm sorry?" Alexa was confused.

"It's whom, not who. Sorry, I'm kind of a grammar Nazi. It's annoying to everyone."

"Oh sorry, Alexa this is Abby. Abby this is my friend Alexa," I introduced.

"So you did some thinking after all," Alexa acknowledged our conversation about being friends and turned toward Abby putting her hand out for her to shake. "Alexa, nice to meet you."

Abby shook her hand over the counter.

"You too. Sorry for correcting you. It's a bad habit."

"It's okay. I need it sometimes. Plus, I have a thing for smart women, which this one can probably attest too being that she's a Yale girl."

Abby looked at me with an eyebrow lifted.

"Anyway…" I tried to change the subject.

"She may not be a Yale girl for long," Abby divulged while winking at me.

"Really? You failed to mention that yesterday." Alexa moved out from behind the counter and motioned for one of her coworkers to take over with the two customers who were in the bakery. She stood off to the side of the case and we followed suit.

"It's not definite. I'm just exploring my options and Abby goes to Columbia so she showed me around."

"So, you're staying in New York?" Alexa asked.

"Maybe."

"And how do you two know each other?" Abby asked both of us at the same time and appeared very eager to know her answer.

"I hit on her at a pizza place and she turned me down. Then, she turned me down again and now we're just friends, which I've accepted by the way because I'm very understanding like that."

Abby stared at Alexa for a moment before turning toward me. I knew she wanted to ask me something, but decided against it for some reason.

"So, are you in school too Alexa?" Abby interviewed and I realized I didn't know the answer.

"Part-time. I was going full-time, but my mom got sick and I had to take some time off and work. Now, I'm working here and I do some part-time assistant stuff at a recording studio and I take one class at a time. I should be done in about a decade."

"What are you studying?" Abby removed her arms from their crossed position and instead leaned against the counter with them clasped in front of her.

"Physical therapy."

"That's cool," I shared wanting to participate in the conversation and realizing that I had never thought to ask her these questions nor had I learned she had another job.

"Yeah, originally I was undeclared, but my mom got diagnosed with MS and it came on fast and she needed someone to care for her. I went to a few of her physical therapy sessions and thought it was something I'd like to do."

I smiled at her and looked at Abby who was also smiling. There was more to Alexa than I had given her credit for. I pretty much still knew I didn't want to date the girl, but I also thought that we really could be friends especially if I ended up in New York after all.

"We should get going. Santana's waiting for us," I observed.

"You should come to dinner with us, Alexa. Are you getting off work soon?" Abby asked her while moving to stand up straight.

"From here, yes. I work at the studio tonight though until about 10."

"If we end up doing something, I'll call to see if you want to join," I suggested.

"Maybe tomorrow night instead. I work at like 5am here. I get off around noon though. I could crash for a while and then we can all hang if you want."

"That sounds good. I think Santana's off tomorrow night," Abby remarked.

"Santana's going to be there? That may not be the best idea. She's not my number one fan."

"Why?" Abby asked.

"Because she's Santana." I tried to avoid having the conversation about what happened that night with Abby standing right here. "I'll call you, Alexa."

Abby and I walked out of the bakery while Alexa returned to her position behind the counter.

"You know I have to ask, right?" Abby looked at me as we walked.

"Ask what?" My heart was beating loudly and I felt like I was being polygraphed.

"You don't have to answer me if you don't want too, but Santana never told me if you were straight or not. I guess I just assumed you were, but you seem to be surrounded by lesbians here so I'm a little curious."

"Oh," I didn't really know how to answer that question yet. "Can I just get back to you on that one?"

She seemed to understand and nodded her head.

"Do you like her?"

"Who?"

"Alexa?"

"As a friend, yes. I really haven't spent a lot of time with her and you kind of just made me realize that the time I have spent with her has been me talking about me and not learning anything about her. So, I'm a pretty crappy new friend."

"What did she mean when she said Santana wasn't a fan?"

"Oh that's kind of my fault. When we first met, I told Santana she came on a little strong and Santana's just protective."

"Well, Alexa seems nice so maybe if Santana can adjust her protective instinct and retract her claws, she'll like her and we can all hang out."

"Santana's like Wolverine. Her claws are never fully retracted and I don't think she can ever adjust her feisty side."

Abby seemed unsure about something as she watched her own feet move.

"Okay. Another question?"

"All right." I motioned with my finger that we were at the building and we walked inside as a guy held open the door for us.

"Have you ever dated a girl?"

We stopped in front of the elevator and I pressed the button for our floor.

"No," I replied honestly.

The elevator arrived quickly, which I was grateful for because I couldn't take many more of these questions and I didn't want to be rude and tell her to stop asking.

"But you're open to the idea I take it by your previous response?"

The elevator started moving and I stared at the buttons as they lit up imploring them to light up faster so we could get out of this metal box.

"Can I get back to you on that one too?"

She laughed a little and the elevator door opened.


	27. Chapter 27

Santana's POV:

I heard the heavy door slide open and two girls were talking in the living room. I didn't have time to remove the post-it notes or finish cleaning the bathroom. I didn't even have time to ponder my previous thought about my current dating situation.

"This is it." I heard Q say. "Santana, we're back."

I gathered myself as best I could and walked out to the living room.

"Hey you two, how did it go?"

I walked in Quinn's direction before taking a half step to my right to realize I should greet the woman I'm basically with first. I pecked her lips before looking at Quinn for what to do next.

"I think I convinced Quinn to make the move to the much better learning institution that is Columbia University." Abby explained and took my hands in hers.

"I always knew it was a great school. I just wasn't sure I'd fit in there. Small town girl. Big city and all that," Q shared.

She walked to the kitchen and pulled out two bottles of water and a beer. I sat down next to Abby and put my arm around her. Quinn approached and passed me the beer and gave Abby water.

"Um Q, why am I the one getting the alcohol?"

She pulled one of the chairs from the kitchen table in toward the couch.

"Because your best friend and your girl-, the girl you're dating just spent the entire day together talking about you. My guess is you could use it." She smirked at me and I twisted the top off the bottle and took a long drink.

"So, are you really going to transfer?" I asked her not really sure what I wanted the answer to be at that particular complicated moment.

"I might. I don't know. I'm already a year and a half in at Yale and I do like it there."

"You just like it here more, right?" Abby asked her.

"Both places have their benefits." I liked her particular choice of word there. "New York both terrifies and excites me at the same time. New Haven doesn't necessarily do either. Both schools are great and I'm still doing all my pre-requisites so I know my credits will transfer. I like being in the small town sometimes. It's peaceful and quiet and I can get my studying done, but I also get bored and I miss my friends."

"You can study here, Q," I offered before taking another drink.

"I know. You're always very quiet when I'm reading."

"I'm sure you've already figured out that Quinn's a bookworm."

"I can't really say anything about that though, can I?" Abby paused. "So, are you going to show me around or what?"

"I would, but this is pretty much it. The closet just has clothes in it and there's the bathroom. Other than that, this is our place."

Abby looked at me with a face I didn't understand.

"Okay, I'm going to go to the bathroom then." She stood and walked to the door closing it behind her.

"Spill, Fabray. What truths and lies did your mouth spawn so I know how to defend myself?"

She laughed before joining me on the couch. We leaned in to face each other.

"I didn't tell her any lies and I only told her a few truths. Honestly, we talked about you, but we mostly talked about the school and New York. The stuff I did tell her though was all good."

"Why do I doubt that?"

"I don't know, but that's on you. I was an awesome best friend today. "

"You're an awesome best friend every day, Q. I just need to know what I'm in for later."

"Nothing coming from me. Well, I did tell her about how strong you were during that whole coming out debacle, which I assumed incorrectly that she knew about by the way."

"I told her the short version and left out the part about the commercial."

"Well, she may or may not know about that now. Sorry, I really did think you told her."

"That's okay. It's not like it's a big secret. It's just hard to talk about sometimes. I wanted it to go differently. Not like I had a big plan for how I was going to tell the world, but it definitely didn't involve a campaign commercial going out to the entire city."

"I know, San. I'm sorry. I wish I had been a better friend to you back then. Not that I would have known what to do, but I don't know… I could have been a shoulder to cry on or a shoulder to punch so you could get your anger on." She made air quotes around the 'get your anger on' part and I knew she was mocking me.

"It's cool. You've more than made up for it since then, baby."

Crap. I didn't get a chance to make up some excuse for why that word left my mouth because I heard Abby clearing her throat. I guess she's part ninja because I didn't hear the toilet flush or the door open.

"Hey, enjoy your tour?" Quinn asked her breaking the awkward silence.

Once again, I couldn't read Abby expression. I was still trying to learn her faces. She moved over to the chair Quinn had previously occupied and sat down.

"Yeah, I really like your place. How long have you lived here, San?"

"Um… a few months."

"So, like right before Quinn came to stay?"

"Yeah, I guess. Why?"

"No reason. It's just easy to see that you both live here."

"Well, we do both live here."

"Santana lives here. I'm just staying here." Quinn said in my direction apparently feeling the need to clarify something I had messed up.

"Is the couch comfortable to sleep on?" Her tone wasn't accusing so much as inquisitive.

"Abby…" I was starting to get frustrated with her.

"When San's at your place, I take the bed and sometimes I just crash across the hall with our friends from high school. One of them is dating someone and he's not there all the time so I'm in his bed. I'm pretty much a nomad these days." What she was saying was true, but she was also embellishing for my benefit. "I was planning to stay over there tonight so you two could stay here without me in your way."

"Q, you don't have to do that. I think I'm just going to crash tonight anyway."

"And Abby will be crashing with you. It's fine, S."

I looked at Abby and her eyes were darting between the two of us.

"I'm just going to stay at home tonight. I've got some reading to do for next semester and it'll be easier to do on my own. In fact, I think I should probably just head out," Abby clarified.

"I thought we were all going to do dinner. Rachel and Kurt want to meet you."

"Maybe some other time." She stood and wiped invisible wrinkles off her pants. I knew I had done something wrong.

"I'll walk you out."

I stood and followed her to the door. I turned toward Quinn who gave me an exasperated sigh and mouthed "good luck." Once the door was closed behind us, it was as if both of our bodies tensed up and our vocal chords didn't know how to function. We walked silently until we got to the front door of the building.

"Look, I know I did something wrong, but I'm terrible at this stuff. Can you just tell me what it is so I can fix it?"

"You didn't do anything wrong."

"I obviously fucked something up. You're leaving."

She took a step toward me and put her arms around my waist.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Yes."

I put my hands through her belt loops and toyed with them.

"What's going on with you and Quinn?"

I couldn't meet her eye so I just looked at my hands.

"She's my best friend."

"And?"

"And what?"

"Santana, you can't even look at me right now."

I met her challenge by looking up and staring at her.

"What do you want me to say, Abs?"

"Did you two date?"

"No. We've never dated."

I wasn't lying, but I certainly wasn't volunteering the whole truth.

"Have you guys ever slept together?" I gulped audibly and her hands moved away from my body. I had no choice but to put my hands at my side.

"We had sort of a friends with benefits thing for a while, but that's been over."

"How long's a while and how long has it been over?"

"I don't know, Abby. It lasted like a couple of months or something."

"When did it end, Santana?"

She was angry and I could tell I wasn't helping myself with my short answers.

"It ended the night you and I kissed for the first time."

She took another step back and clutched the purse that had just been hanging off her shoulder.

"The night you were supposed to stay, but you left?"

"There was a crazy girl in our apartment trying to get in Q's pants. It wasn't like I left you to be with her. It was stranger danger. I left because she needed my help."

"And you slept with her?"

I tried to take a step toward her, but she put her hand out to stop me.

"It's not like that. I didn't like plan it or anything. I told her you and I kissed and that we were starting something. Wait. That's the wrong order. She and I kissed that night and then I told her about our kiss and the next morning, we… It was-"

"What? Your finale?"

"I guess, yeah. We haven't done anything since then and you know, I'm trying to be honest with you here, but Abby, we're not a couple." I motioned between us with my index finger. "You made it clear that we were just friends and Q and I were already… doing things and when you said you wanted to just date and take things slow, I understood and Q and I were already… not doing those things anymore and even though I don't have to be faithful to you, I pretty much have been."

"I'm not mad at you, Santana. I know you have the right to sleep with whoever you want too, but after spending all day with her talking about how amazing you are and then seeing you together for the first time, I'm not sure how to deal with this."

"Deal with what? Nothing's going on with Quinn."

"Maybe it should be."

"Stop it, Abby. Why are you doing this?"

"Have you seen your apartment lately? It's not just your apartment. It's like you two have been living together for years. You even call it 'our' apartment when really she's just a guest for a while."

"She's my best friend. Whether she's staying here or not, my place will always be a home to her."

"Look, I hate to admit this. I'm not this person and I haven't had to deal with this in a long time, but I am jealous and I need to process what's happening here before anything else can happen between us, Santana."

"Why are you doing this? You and I are good, baby." I put my hands around her waist and tried to pull her in.

"You called Quinn baby earlier. Did you catch that? We had sex for the first time and you couldn't even stay the night."

"We had sex in the morning."

"Really? That's what you're going with? How often do you sleep in the same bed with her because I know she's not sleeping on that couch every night? I know I have no right to tell you this because we aren't a couple and that's because of me, but it still hurts. Seeing you with her like that hurts and I don't know what to do about it so I'm just going to go home right now and think."

She pulled away from me again.

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Whatever you want, Santana. Whatever you want."


	28. Chapter 28

I own nothing.

Quinn's POV:

I was in the process of making a salad when Santana opened the front door. I looked up to see she was walking toward me without stopping.

"How'd it go?"

"Just hug me, okay?"

"Okay." She wrapped her arms around my waist and I put the bowl I was holding down to hug her back. We held onto each other for what felt like forever; her face buried in my neck. I put my hand on the back of her head to pull her closer to let her know I was here for her. I didn't know what had happened downstairs, but it was pretty obvious it didn't go well. My phone rang and I looked up for a second.

"You can get it," She said without moving from her position.

"It's okay. It can go to voicemail."

She pulled back and walked to the table. She picked it up and before handing it to me caught the name on the caller ID.

"Who's Brent?"

"He's calling already?"

She handed me the phone, but it had already gone to voicemail so I just set it down on the counter waiting for the message.

"Who is he, Q?"

Figuring we were done with the hug, I went back to making my salad.

"Just some guy I met today. He goes to Columbia. He knows Abby. They were in a class together last year or something. He offered to show me some fun places around so I gave him my number."

"Oh."

"You gonna tell me what happened down there?"

She looked away and walked toward the bed.

"Not planning on it."

"San, what the hell happened? She was fine earlier. She talked about you in between snippets about buildings and classes."

She tore off her sweater and threw it on the floor and removed her jeans while searching for some sweats to put on in my dresser.

"I don't want to talk about it, Quinn."

"Bottom drawer," I told her knowing what she was looking for. I had bought a lot of clothes since moving here and they no longer fit in the closet. Santana had finally just found a decent bookshelf on Craigslist so I could put clothes in the dresser and my books wouldn't be all over the place.

"Thanks, I need to do laundry tomorrow."

She put on one of my old pairs and fell onto the bed. She rolled over and slid to rest her head on the pillow with her hands behind her head. I watched as she stared at the ceiling. I put the food back in the fridge and walked over to the bed sitting on the edge with my hands clasped in my lap.

"Do you need another hug?"

"I think it's over."

I turned more toward her.

'What? Why?"

"She's just being a girl. Girls have to process and talk and analyze and do it all over again."

"Is this about the not great sex thing?"

"Yes, no. I think it's a combination of things and I just don't want to think about it right now. She needs space or something so I'm going to give it to her and she told me to do what I want so I'm going to do that too."

"Santana, give her space if that's what she wants, but don't risk screwing it all up by doing something stupid."

"You're not stupid, Q."

She sat up and put her hand on the small of my back. She moved in and her lips met my neck as she moved my hair out of the way. I shuddered before shaking myself out of it and standing quickly.

"Not happening, Santana."

"Come on, Q. I'm a single girl. You're a single girl. That's the deal, right? Unless, you and this Brent guy are gonna start making babies sometime soon."

"I just met the guy, San. He was nice. He has my phone number and in case you haven't noticed, I've yet to check the message he left because I'm trying to make sure you're alright."

"Then, lie back down."

"Not like that." I walked back toward the kitchen a little frustrated.

"I'm sorry, Quinn. You know I can't resist a hot girl when she's standing right in front of me."

"Go find another one to stand in front of you then cause we can't keep going there. Abby's bound to find out or figure it out."

"So." She stood up and walked toward the kitchen and leaned against the counter.

"So, what the hell is wrong with you? Do you like this girl or not? Do you actually want to be with her because right now, it doesn't seem like you do?!"

"Why do you constantly have to be like this?"

"Like what?"

"Like you expect something different from me than what I am." She folded her arms across her chest.

I paused to consider how best to answer.

"I love who you are, Santana. You're the most important person in my life, but you do the same thing to me. You expect me to be better. You tell me not to define myself by boys. You make me think about transferring schools and moving states because you know I'd be happier here. I just want that for you. If Abby makes you happy then I'm not going to let you screw that up because you're an impulsive brat sometimes and if I see you about to make a mistake, I'm going to call you on it just like you do for me all the time."

She didn't say anything. She just uncrossed her arms and looked down at my phone for a second.

"You should check his message. I'm gonna go across the hall and see if Berry or Hummel still want to have dinner."

"Santana, I don't need to check the message. Let's just talk."

But before I could finish, she was gone.


	29. Chapter 29

And here we go…

Santana's POV:

"Hey lady," I greeted after opening the door.

"Hey, Santana. What's up?" Kurt asked. He was sitting on the couch watching a rerun of the Golden Girls. Normally, I would have told him he's very much a Dorothy and suggested that he move to Florida and just embrace his future, but I wasn't in the mood. Instead, I sat down next to him.

"Berry here?"

"Nope. She should be back by dinner though."

"Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure."

He leaned in and rested his head on his elbow. I mirrored his position.

"I think I've screwed things up with Abby."

"So, she's not going to dinner, then."

"No, she is not going to dinner."

"What happened?"

"I don't know." I paused. "Okay, I do know. I just don't know what to do about it."

"Is it about Quinn?"

I squinted at him.

"Why do you ask that?" After what had happened with Abby, I should have figured this is how this conversation would go.

"Because you're dating one girl while you're in love with another."

"What the hell, Hummel?"

"Come on, Santana. Even Rachel and I have noticed. You've been different lately. Whenever Quinn's here, you're actually bearable to be around."

"Watch it, Freddie Mercury!"

"Hey, you came to talk to me, remember? My guess is that you can't exactly talk to Quinn about this or she'd be the one sharing a couch with you right now."

"It was just sex, Kurt."

He shot forward and stared me down.

"What! You two had sex? When did this happen?"

"Which time?"

"Quinn Fabray? Blonde, about 5'8? Straight like an arrow?"

"You're not funny, Hummel."

"I just thought you had a thing for her. I didn't think you two were already a thing."

"We're not. We had a drunken hook up on Valentine's Day and we both… liked it so we had a friends with benefits thing for a while, but we stopped when I started dating Abby. I haven't touched her since. Well, that's not entirely true. I tried to earlier, but she wasn't having it. She's mad at me too."

"Of course she is. I'm mad at you for being so stupid and I'm not even involved in the damn thing."

"Then, help me. What the hell do I do? Abby spent the day with Q, who was doing her best to talk me up because she wants me to be happy with Abby, but it probably just looked to Abby like Quinn's in love with me or something now, which she's not cause she's got some new guy who's already calling her after like 5 minutes of knowing her, which makes total sense of course because she's Quinn and she's fucking perfect and then Abby comes to our apartment for the first time and says it's tricked out like Quinn and I spent a Saturday at Crate & Barrel picking out furniture and china patterns and then she came out of the bathroom just in time to hear me accidentally call Quinn baby, which really was an accident-"

"Santana. Listen to yourself."

"I'm telling you so you can listen. I know I tell you you're annoying and your skin is pasty and when I first met you I thought you had to have that sun allergy disease because there was no way you had ever been outdoors, but you're my friend, Kurt. I don't have a lot of those right now and I can't exactly talk to Q about this and Rachel's voice would just get really high and she'd go into some monologue about what Liza with a Z would do and I can't deal with that."

"So, you're really going to take my advice?"

"I will listen to your advice and take it into consideration. That's the best I can do."

I sat back on the couch and he leaned toward me.

"What is it you that you like about Abby?"

"Oh God, I don't know. I don't do that thing where I make a list of why I like someone."

"Just think about it."

"I don't know. She's feisty and I like that. She puts me in my place sometimes. She didn't just let me in right away. She made me work for it, which is a pain in the ass, but also makes stuff worth it. She's funny. She's crazy smart and nerdy. Is that enough?"

He wiggled his eyebrows.

"You do realize that everything you just said also describes that girl living with you across the hall, right?"

"So, they have things in common. That makes sense. Fabray's my best friend."

"Stop it, Santana. Just say it already. You know what's going on. You have for a while is my guess and you just didn't want to admit it or maybe you just figured it out a few minutes ago. I don't know and I don't know how Quinn feels, but I _can _say this. I have never seen you look so happy. I have never seen her so happy either. She is smiling all the time these days and it's not just because she's on summer vacation in New York. I've seen her rest her head on your shoulder and I've seen you both relax when she does it."

"So, where does that leave me?"

"Say it."

"Kurt-"

"Say it, Santana. Out loud."

I took in possibly the deepest breath I ever have in my life.

"What if she doesn't feel-"

"Say it."

I hated him for making me do this. My head went back against the couch and I thought about the first time. I thought about the last time. I thought about how it felt when she climbed off the bed and left the room. I thought about every moment in between and every moment before in the matter of a few seconds. I had forgotten that Kurt was even sitting there waiting for me to say something; to acknowledge what's probably been there all the time.

"I love her."

He waited for a second.

"Who?"

"I'm in love with Quinn."

"There it is."

My head went to my hands.

"I cannot go through this again. I fell for a best friend before and it broke me."

"For a while. It broke you for a while, but you're fine now. You moved on."

"Yeah, apparently to another best friend. What the hell is wrong with me? I've basically lost one already and now I'm probably going to lose Q, too."

"You won't lose her. If you two were sleeping together and she's still around to try to help you get what she thinks you want, I don't think she's going anywhere."

"I can't risk it. I can't not have her in my life."

"I haven't met Abby, but it sounds to me like she has certain commonalities with Quinn."

"You pointed that out already. Move on."

"I'm just saying that maybe after what happened with your last relationship and the hook-up with Quinn, you realized something was there. Even if it was only subconsciously. Maybe Abby was like your pseudo-Quinn. You saw something in her that reminded you of Quinn and, I don't know, maybe it was like a practice relationship for you without you realizing it."

"That makes me sound horrible."

"You didn't do it on purpose, Santana. I know you can be terrible sometimes, but you wouldn't do that especially to a girl like Abby with what you told me she's been through. It's a bad situation, but you didn't set out to hurt her. Now you're at this point where you've figured it out and you have to make a decision."

"What the hell do I do?"

"Let's try something, okay?"

"I don't swing that way, Hummel and neither do you."

"You're hilarious. What do you want for Quinn? For her life?"

"I want whatever she wants for herself."

"What do you think that is?"

"She wants to graduate at the top of her class so I want to help her study or stay quiet so she can get work done. I want her to have the career she wants because I know she'll be good at whatever it is. I know she wants to settle down at some point. I don't know about the kids thing. I think she's still got to figure that out and it's tricky because of what happened with Beth."

"What do you want for yourself?"

"Fame, of course."

"Oh, of course."

"I don't know. I know I don't want to be a bartender for the rest of my life. I like my extension classes so I think I might apply to NYADA or some other school for the spring since it's too late for the fall. I want to live in New York for as long as I can before the creep factor makes me consider moving to the burbs where Q and I will-" I stopped myself when I realized where that sentence was going.

"Do you remember how you told Quinn you'd know when she'd met the one because of how she would talk about them and how her eyes would like up?"

"What are you getting at Queer Eye?"

"I've never seen your eyes so bright, Santana."


	30. Chapter 30

Today will be the last day of 2 chapters/day. I'm going down to one/day until the end of this little tale here. Hope you're all hanging in there.

Quinn's POV:

I waited for about 20 minutes before I walked across the hall and knocked on the door.

"Come in."

"Hey, I'm cooking over there. Where is everyone?"

"Rachel's not back yet. She should be soon though."

"Where is Santana? She told me she was coming to get you guys."

Kurt was buttoning up a vest just outside the bathroom. I sat at the kitchen table. His fingers stopped buttoning.

"She did. She went to talk to Abby."

"Oh, she didn't tell me. I thought she was giving her space. Wait. Santana Lopez is out in New York City wearing sweat pants."

"She just told me she needed to talk to her. I got the impression she didn't want to wait." He was being evasive for some reason.

I rested my head on my fist.

"Good. Maybe she's going to apologize for whatever she did."

"Yeah, so I'm still in for dinner and Rachel's in. Are we still doing this thing?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"You're not really in the mood to entertain, are you?"

"Not really. It's just been a strange day."

"I bet."

"Did she say something to you?"

"I know you spent the day with Abby solo because Santana got called into work and then you both got home and Abby got upset about something."

"That about sums it up."

"Is there something you want to talk about?" He sat across from me and stared like he was trying to pull the thoughts out of my brain.

"No, why?"

"I don't know. You just seem like you have something on your mind," He shifted his glance away from mine.

"It's just been a long day." I stood.

"Do you want to cancel dinner?" He asked.

"I've already started cooking. Let's just do it."

"Wow, Quinn. I certainly feel loved."

Kurt and Rachel talked while they ate. I sat silently for most of the meal. I interjected periodically so they'd thing I was paying attention, but my mind was on Santana and Abby. I was scared for her. She's not exactly the best at expressing herself at least without insults or fists and I was convinced that if I didn't coach her on what to say, she was going to ruin the thing she wanted.

It's confusing, this whole situation. She likes Abby and they're dating or on the way to being a couple, but Abby gets upset and Santana wants to have sex with me. This growing up thing we're both trying has its obstacles along the way. Every now and then, I see the old Santana who reacts impulsively based on want or revenge or fear or something else she should really just think through first. I couldn't really blame her for that. I know that the reason we had sex in the first place was because of a couple of impulsive decisions. I guess I just need to figure some things out for myself right now and-

"Earth to Quinn." Kurt waved his hand in front of my face.

"What?" I replied frustrated.

"Where are you, Quinn? You've been out of it since we got here," Rachel pointed out.

"Sorry, I'm just thinking about things."

"Like what?" Kurt asked before taking a drink. He seemed a little too interested.

"Um…I think I want to take the semester off." I wasn't sure how to tell them about what was really on my mind.

"From Yale?" Rachel looked surprised.

"Yeah. I know it's stupid, but I've been thinking about it for a while now though. Pretty much since last semester started. I was thinking about sticking around here for a bit and then maybe traveling a little. A road trip or maybe trying to ask my mom for some money to go somewhere. Europe or somewhere in Asia."

"Wow! That's a lot of thinking there."

"Yeah, that's a big decision," Kurt confirmed.

"I know, but I think I want to transfer to Columbia anyway. I can apply now, probably get in since I got in before and my GPA right now is a 3.9. I can take the semester to just not think about classes and maybe have an adventure or two and then start there in the spring. My mom will probably want to murder me, but it's something I think I need."

"Are you going to stay with Santana?" He asked.

"Probably not. She and Abby have a thing or they will have a thing and I think I'm kind of getting in the way. It's a studio apartment after all and they can't just always stay at her place because of me."

"Well, for what it's worth, I think she likes having you here," Rachel attested. "She's been different since you've moved in. It's like you're her kryptonite or something."

"Or her soul mate." I thought I heard Kurt mumble before taking a bite. I decided to dismiss it.

"I still have to talk to her about this stuff so can you guys keep it to yourselves until I do?"

"Of course."

"Sure."

"I'm actually really excited. I started looking at destinations and I think if I stay in the US, I'd like to drive to the Grand Canyon and back and stop at all the weird side show stuff along the way and if I can get the money to go somewhere else, I was thinking of London and maybe Dublin too."

"Can I come?" The voice came from the front door, which we had left open. Santana was standing there with her arms at her sides looking defeated.


	31. Chapter 31

Here's what I will say: You may still have a minor heart attack at the end of this one. Sorry about that. Also, you may not see jealous Quinn as many of you have mentioned and you'll pretty much understand why by the end of the story, but remember she's trying to give Santana what she thinks she wants.

Santana's POV:

When I skipped out on Hummel, I didn't even go back to the apartment to get my purse or my phone because I knew Quinn would ask questions that I wasn't prepared to answer. So, with no money, no phone, no lip-gloss and wearing a pair of Quinn's old sweats, I made my way over to Abby's on foot. Her apartment is a couple of miles away. I'm still used to speaking in miles even though here everyone talks in blocks. You can take the girl out of Ohio, but sometimes you can't take the Ohio out of the girl.

It worked out well because the walk gave me the time I needed to figure out how to talk to the two girls I needed to talk too. On the way to her apartment, it seemed like with every step I took, my feet weighed more. I knew I was hesitating. In the past, I would have just sent a text or called her and told her that it was over, but I'm trying not to be that girl anymore and Abby doesn't deserve that.

I stood at her door trying to figure out how to knock. Do I tap some sort of upbeat rhythm or just knock once? What would she think if it was upbeat and then she noticed it was me? Would I get her hopes up? Would she think this was me showing up with an apology and an admission of my own stupidity? I opted for the tap twice and hope she actually answers. The door opened slowly a few moments later, which led me to believe she had seen me through the peep hole and wasn't too happy about me ignoring her request for space.

"Hey."

"Hi. Can we talk?"

She opened the door the rest of the way and ushered me inside. I walked over to the kitchen table and sat down in the chair I typically occupied when we ate together. She sat in her usual seat.

"Before you say anything, Santana, let me say something."

I clasped my hands in front of me on the table unsure of where this was going.

"Okay."

"I've been in love before… like real love. The love that people talk about in books and people kill for in plays. I was lucky to have Kate in my life for as long as I had her and during that time, there wasn't a single moment that I doubted that I would love that girl forever. I know she's gone and I have to move on and I was never really sure I would until I met you."

"Abby-" I tried to interject.

"No, it's okay. Just listen." She paused. "I don't mean that I'm in love with you or that you're the one. I mean that even though we haven't known each other for that long, you've made an impact on me. Before you essentially stalked me, I was just going through the motions and turning down potential relationships because I didn't see the point." Another pause. "I know why you're here and I'm okay with it. I'm going to miss you, but you and me… we're not meant to be. I saw you with her and it just clicked. I think I freaked out because even after spending a minute with the two of you, I saw something I used to have; something I miss and I hope to one day find again." I leaned forward listening intently to everything she was saying. "I know you're here to tell me that it's over, but I don't know if you're going to tell her that you're madly in love with her. Either way, I cannot stand in the way of what you two could possibly have together one day whether that day is today or in ten years."

"I don't know what to say other than I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry. You didn't even know you were in love with her, did you?"

I sat back and crossed my arms.

"I really didn't. I mean, Kurt just made me say it out loud for the first time and that made me think back through everything we've been through together."

"And you realized it's always been there?"

"I think so, yeah. Even when I was in a relationship, I was always drawn to Quinn. Usually, I was screaming at her or she was screaming at me or we were competing over things that seem so stupid now and they only happened like a year ago."

"When are you going to tell her?" She leaned forward in her seat.

"You're assuming that I am."

"Of course you are."

"I don't know if I can. Even if it's always been there and I've just been the dumbest bitch in the world, I did just admit it for the first time today. I don't think I'm ready for that conversation. She's complicated, Abs."

"The best ones always are, Santana."

"What are you like my lesbian, Yoda?"

She laughed a little.  
"Look, I don't want to use my sob story as ammunition here or try to make this about me, but think of what I went through as a cautionary tale. If you don't tell her and something happens, you've lost your chance forever. If you don't tell her and she meets someone and they get married, you've lost your chance. What would you do then?"

"Kill her husband."

She laughed again and I realized in that moment how similar her laugh was to Quinn's. I shook my head.

"What?"

"I am so stupid. I've loved that girl forever and I put you through all of this and I am so sorry."

"I'm okay, Santana. I promise. Like I said, I'll miss you, but you did something for me that opened me back up to what I could have."

"I'm still sorry. I feel like I led you on and I never meant to do that and I don't want to ever hurt you."

"You didn't know so you didn't lead me on, but let's pretend you did for a minute for the sake of your love life. You want to know how you can make it up to me?"

"Yes."

I leaned forward.

"Tell her. Tell her even if you're not ready because the truth is you'll never be ready. It's always scary to tell the person you love more than anything that you love them more than anything. It's always risky putting your heart out there and I know you've been burned in the past and that this part scares you even more because of that and that you're specifically worried because this girl is also your best friend, but she should be your best friend, Santana. The woman you love more than anything should be your best friend. She should make you want to better and make you think constantly and challenge you and balance out your feisty Santana personality."

"What about that guy you introduced her too? Thanks for that by the way."

"Hey, I just spent the afternoon convincing the woman you love to transfer schools to move here effectively ending whatever I had going on with you. Besides, I can call him and tell him to back off. I think Quinn gave him her number because she wanted to be nice anyway."

I smiled.

"Yeah, she does that." I met her eyes. "Are we okay? I mean, this is lame, but I would like us to be friends if you're up for it."

"I'm up for it, but I think I still need some time to readjust my thinking, ya know?'

"Yeah, I get it."

I stood up and walked in her direction. She stood and I wrapped my arms around her in what I knew would be our last hug for a while. She pulled away and our arms went to our sides.

"You're telling her tonight, aren't you?"

"If she turns me down, I may need to come back here and crash on your couch because crashing at Lady Hummel's and Berry's would be too close to the trauma."

"Let me know."

I left her apartment feeling a little better. She understood and she didn't hate me and there was a chance we would be friends in the near future. I thought my steps would lighten heading back, but the lead in my shoes seemed to gain weight instead. The hardest part was yet to come.

When I approached our door, I noticed it was open. I could hear Rachel and Kurt and I realized I had completely forgotten about dinner. We were all supposed to go out, but by the sound of it, Quinn decided to cook instead. I heard her voice for the first time and as my heartbeat sped up, my feet stopped moving. She was transferring. She was staying in New York. I took a deep breath. Maybe I shouldn't tell her. Maybe I should see if this thing happens on its own. We'll be on the couch like always and she'll play with my hair and I can sit up and face her and lean in. No. I don't want that. I mean, I do what _that, _but _I_ don't want it to go back to just how it was. I want all of her. I heard her say something about traveling and my feet started moving again until I was standing in the doorway with my heart pulsing out of my chest.

"Can I come?" I asked.

"Hey, welcome to the dinner you were supposed to be hosting with your girlfriend and Quinn here who cooked and-"

"Berry, just don't right now. Okay?"

Rachel's face was somber for a moment.

"Is everything okay?" Q asked me with her thoughtful tone and eyes.

"Guys, can you give Quinn and I a minute? I need to talk to her."

"Santana, we're eating-" Rachel interjected.

"Rachel, let them talk. We can finish eating at our place. Can we borrow your dishes, Santana?" Kurt asked politely.

"You can keep them for all I care."

They picked up their plates and walked toward the door. I couldn't take my eyes off of Quinn who was walking her half-finished plate over to the sink and starting to clean the pans off the stove. The thought of her doing that forever after nightly shared dinners and her curling into me as she read a book and I listened to music entered my brain and it seemed so obvious now what I had always wanted.

"Good luck," Kurt whispered after walking past me and closing the door behind him.

"Quinn?"

"Yeah?" She asked not looking up from her work.

"Can I come on your road trip?" I smiled when she finally looked up.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on?"

"Yeah, but can you go somewhere with me first?" My heart was beating so fast, I was sure I was having a heart attack.

"I'm in the middle of cleaning up the dinner you were supposed to attend, Santana."

"I will clean it up later, Q. Please. I need you to come somewhere with me." I knew I sounded desperate because I was desperate. If I couldn't do this properly, I was going to lose her even if it was only temporary because she'd need to stay away from me until it was less awkward. Just the thought of her not being here everyday to talk to about things or feel her next to me as I fell asleep, made me feel like if I lost that, I'd lose everything that matters in this crazy, messed-up life.

"Where are we going?" Her eyes were untrusting.

"Your Mecca, you nerd. Just come on." I smirked having found a little confidence that quickly disappeared when I took a deep breath realizing what I was about to do.

I grabbed our purses and hung them both over my shoulder. Quinn wiped her hands clean on a rag and walked toward me. She touched my hand with hers when she removed her purse from my shoulder and I knew in that moment that if she didn't love me back, I would never recover.


	32. Chapter 32

To answer a question about chapter length now that I'm only doing one per day, the answer is both yes and no. Some will be longer. Some will be shorter. You all know how I like my cliffhangers so I don't so much pay attention to length. I prefer to find the right final line to leave you with instead. With that said…

Quinn's POV:

Santana didn't speak the entire walk to the subway station and when we boarded, she stood while I sat even though there were several seats available. I knew something was going on and I wanted to ask where the hell she was taking me, but her eyes told me not to test her right now. She was processing information in her brain that she wasn't ready to share. I would have to wait until we reached our destination.

There were things I wanted to say; not ask, but I worried that now wasn't the right time. I had gone back and forth in my mind about how to handle whatever had been going on with us these past few months, but I had stopped myself time and again because… because I was scared to change things. I liked what we had created for ourselves. I missed having her in my life when we were fighting in high school and when we had gone in different directions for college. I just got her back and she seemed to be happy with Abby or at least I thought she was happy until she returned to our apartment after walking Abby out.

She went to Kurt and Rachel's to bring them back to dinner and seemed to take a while so I started on dinner and then found my way over to the hamper we shared and I pulled out the sweatshirt we also basically shared. I rested my back against a giant stack of pillows and sat it in my lap staring down at the bleach stain that Santana had created because even though she had lived on her own for a while, the girl still didn't understand how to do laundry. I managed to swipe the sweatshirt from the washing machine before she dumped practically half the container of bleach on it. Earlier, when she said she would do laundry tomorrow, I knew what she meant was that I needed to do _our_ laundry tomorrow or I would be risking her turning everything I owned into a splotchy mess.

I held onto this stupid sweatshirt that I bought on sale at the campus bookstore most nights when she was at Abby's because it gave me something of hers that I had given her to hold onto.

When she came back, I thought we would talk about what had happened with Abby, but also with us earlier when she wanted… I just can't do that anymore.

When we got off at our stop, I figured out at least in part where we were going, but it wasn't until we were on the steps of the library that I knew we were going inside. It was near closing time and I wasn't even sure they'd let us in, but Santana used two student IDs she had "borrowed" and swiped us past the student librarian who wasn't paying much attention to anything other than the computer I suspected he was playing candy crush on. We walked toward the stacks and I started to get worried.

"Santana, I'm trying to be understanding here, but why are we in the library? Why couldn't you just talk to me about whatever it is at home?"

She took my hand and intertwined our fingers walking us back silently to my favorite section in the place before stopping. We stood next to each other for a moment before she turned to face me and took my other hand in hers.

"This is where it happened. I think." She looked around as if to verify her assertion.

I looked at her with an expression I was pretty sure I'd had since the moment this little journey began.

"Where what happened, San?"

"We were here. You were looking at those books." She nodded her head toward the row of books I had indeed admired the only time she and I had been here together. "That girl sitting over there started checking you out."

"She was checking you out," I retorted

"No, she wasn't. She looked at you first and I swear I felt like jumping across that table and knocking her to the fucking floor when I saw her lick her lips." She scowled in the direction of the empty table.

I laughed before remembering where I was and silenced myself.

"I pretended she was looking at me and I asked you to be my fake girlfriend for 5 minutes."

"Yeah, I remember."

Her grip on my hands tightened, as did my chest.

"I brought you back here… I bought you back here to ask you to be my real girlfriend and I'm hoping it will last a lot longer than 5 minutes. Hell, I _need_ it to last a lot longer than 5 minutes." She tightened her grip on my hands again and stared down at them unable to meet my eye. I wasn't sure what to say so I said nothing. My heart didn't get the silence memo though and I was pretty sure candy crush librarian could hear it pounding from his position. "Say something, Q."

My mind raced a million miles a minute. Santana was with Abby. They were together. I had spent the entire day trying to get Abby to understand Santana so Santana would be happy. That's all I want. I just want her to be happy.

"I don't really know what's happening right now, Santana."

She looked up with a scowl trying to mask pain and let go of my hands.

"I just asked you to be my girlfriend. That's what's happening." I put my hand flat on her stomach to try to calm her because that's what she always does for me, but she took a step back.

"Santana, what about Abby?"

"We ended things."

"What? Who ended things? Why?"

"We both did. What does it matter? Why can't you just answer me?"

"Jesus, Santana. Calm down and talk to me," I implored.

She took another step back. She was leaning against a stack with her hands behind her back. She couldn't get further from me if she tried. Her head was hanging and she was staring at her shuffling feet. I had never seen her so nervous and I was apparently making it worse.

"I'm ruining it, aren't I?"  
I took a step toward her.

"You're not ruining anything. I'm just trying to understand what's going on. You were with someone else and…" I trailed off and lifted her chin with my thumb and forefinger so I could see her eyes and when she looked at me I could tell there were tears there ready to fall.

"I love you, Lucy Q. I think I always have. I was stupid for not seeing it before, but when we were here that day and that girl looked like she wanted… I took your hand and we walked home like that to our place and… it hasn't been my place since you moved in because we've made a home and I want that with you. I want everything with you." I gulped audibly. Once again she had left me speechless. "I know I'm risking everything in telling you this and I honestly have no clue how you feel, but the reason Abby ran out today and the reason we're over is because I'm supposed to be with you and she knew it. Hell, even Hummel and Berry know something's up."

"You talked to them about this?"

"They figured it out. Those two morons figured it out even before I did."

"Oh." A tear ran down her face and I moved my thumb to wipe it away.

"I know this is more than complicated and we have things to talk about, but I love you. I am in love with you. When I talk about you to people, they can see it in my eyes. They hear it in my voice and in how I talk about you… how I call everything ours instead of yours' and mine. You make me happy, Quinn. Hell, you make me better and everyone has been more than honest with me about that. Please just say something."

"Oh my God." I gasped.

"I don't know what kind of oh my God that is."

I took a step back and took her in. The girl that stood before me was broken open completely. She had put everything out there like I had never seen her do before. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and the thought that we could do this… that we could be together overwhelmed all of my senses. Santana Lopez could either be the best thing that could ever happen to me or the absolute worst. She was waiting patiently for my response and another tear rolled down her face.

I couldn't move fast enough to catch it.


	33. Chapter 33

It's funny because when I hear people say "I hate you," what I really here is "I love you." Just so you guys know…

Santana's POV:

"Never mind, Q. Just forget I ever even said anything. You're silence is speaking fucking volumes." I stormed out of the library after staring at Quinn for what felt like an eternity. She couldn't answer me because she had no answer or at least not an answer I wanted to hear. She didn't feel the same way. I had done it again and I wasn't sticking around to listen to her try to tell me everything would be okay. Everything will not be okay.

I thought about calling Abby to see if it really was okay to crash on her couch, but that wasn't really fair to the girl who told me she needed time before we could do the friends thing. I couldn't go to Hummel's because that's within about 5 feet of where Quinn would be soon enough. I stood across the street behind a pretzel vendor and stared around considering which direction to walk when I noticed Quinn emerge from the library. She was too far away for me to see what her face was saying after I just dropped the love bomb. I watched like a creepy stalker with a telephoto lens as she walked down the street away from the apartment, around a corner and out of sight.

I managed to hold in my tears until I landed on the bed face down. I could only hope that Quinn would get that I needed to be alone and she would continue walking in the wrong direction for a while. I couldn't stand to see her tonight or for the rest of my life for that matter. This is what you get when you pour your heart out to someone. This is what happens when you open yourself up to love, trying to change and grow and be better. I tried to tell my mind to think of something else; anything other than her, but everything I think of reminds me of her. So, I can't think of anything, but it's impossible to think of nothing. What do I do? There's no escaping her. She's everything to me now and I don't even know how I let this happen. One minute I'm at a wedding thinking about my ex as she cuddles up to her new boyfriend and within a minute, I'm exchanging man-hating quips with Quinn. I had no idea that those moments would be the ones that would change my entire life. Flash forward about five months and now there's no escaping this pain.

This constantly getting my heartbroken bullshit is not for me and I'm not doing it again. My tears fell heavy onto the pillow and I squirmed as I felt something beneath the messed up blanket. I reached down and found the Yale sweatshirt I had tossed in our hamper earlier. I didn't remember pulling it out before I left, but if I'm crazy enough to fall in love with my best friend more than once, I could very well be crazy enough to do something and not even remember doing it. I held it to my face and breathed in our combined scent. I cried into it until I had no more tears.

I heard the front door open. My heart jumped.

I could tell it was Quinn by the way she walked, but I couldn't turn to face her. I pushed my face further into the pillow/sweatshirt. Her steps grew closer and I heard her kick her shoes off by the bed. She slid in behind me and wrapped her arm around my body.

"Q, please… it's too hard." I said trying to hold back my sobs and appear strong.

Her face was in my neck. Her lips were against my earlobe.

"You can't keep running like that, Santana. You ran out earlier when I tried to talk to you and you ran out again at the library. You can't do that anymore. Not if this is going to work." My breath stopped. I still couldn't turn around. Her hand reached for both of mine and pulled them out from under the sweatshirt and held onto them. "If we're going to do this thing, I need to know you won't run away. People always run away, Santana. That can't be you. I can't lose you. You're the only person in my life right now that I always want around. If we do this and we fight and you leave, what the hell am I supposed to do without you?"

Finally, I mustered the courage and I rolled around to face her. I wiped my eyes as her hand went to my back and under my shirt. I calmed immediately like I always do when she does that.

"What are you saying, Quinn?"

"I'm saying that I want this. I want you."

I smiled.

"You do?"

"Yes, I love you. You have to know that, San. Why do you think I acted like I did when you started dating Abby? Why did I have to sleep in Rachel's couch or in Kurt's bed when he was out? The thought of you kissing someone other than me made me sick."

My smile grew and I leaned in to kiss her and it felt as if I hadn't kissed her in months. It was full of every single emotion I could possibly pour into it. I needed her to know that this time it was more, that she was more; she was absolutely my everything. It was like my life could finally begin now.

I moved on top of her because I couldn't wait any longer to make her feel how she made me feel. She half sat up and helped me remove my shirt before I look her lips in mine again. I couldn't move fast enough. I wanted to devour her. We hastily removed the rest of our clothing and paid no attention to where it was thrown. Before I could stop her, she had rolled us over and was now on top. She leaned in and pressed our foreheads together her breath gathered in pace as her hips began to move down into mine.

"Fuck, that feels good." Just these small movements were enough to get me off. "Say it again, Quinn," I commanded. I needed to make sure she had actually said it the first time.

"I love you, Santana Lopez." She kissed me and rolled her hips down again. "I love you." Her hands slid down my body and I had never anticipated something so much in my life. When her fingers finally took the position that would allow me to come undone within seconds, I kissed her again deeply tangling my tongue with hers to encourage her to move faster.

And then I woke up.


	34. Chapter 34

Because I think I may have inadvertently given some of you mild heart attacks and/or made you want to locate me and murder me in my sleep, here is the next chapter. Also, you guys are awesome so the extra update is for that too.

I own nothing.

Quinn's POV:

She ran out of the library and I was left standing with empty arms and more confusion than I think I've ever felt and I was a teen mom who had to decide whether or not to have a baby and then whether or not to keep her.

What the hell just happened? I stood against the stacks for several minutes before candy crush librarian told me they were closing. I suddenly realized I had nowhere to go.

I couldn't go home because Santana would be there and I couldn't go to the only other place I know because it's right across the damn hall. I knew exactly 5 people in this city. One of them was Santana. One of them was Abby. One of them was Alexa and I wasn't really in the mood to add this conversation to that new friendship yet.

I walked out of the library and turned away from the subway stop and just started walking. It was getting late and I knew I shouldn't be walking around the city alone at night. I found a suitable hotel and gave them my emergency credit card and my fake ID so I could get a room for the night. It was the only thing I could think to do.

When I got to the room, I tossed my purse on the desk and pulled out my phone. No messages or calls from Santana. I didn't know what I expected; a text saying she was joking or one that she meant it and was sorry for storming off and wanted to talk. The real question wasn't what I expected, but what I wanted. If she was serious, which I'm a thousand percent sure she was since even the old Santana wouldn't put herself out there unless she was serious, what the hell do I do now? I took my phone with me over to the bed and laid my head back against the pillow.

Santana loves me.

She wants to be with me.

Could it really be possible that this thing between us has been something more the whole time and we were both too dumb to notice? I considered myself pretty smart, but I didn't know what to do with this information. Her reaction to my silence made me want to smack _myself _this time. I think I've broken her. I mean we're all broken, right? There's not a single person on this planet that made it to adulthood without scars of some kind. Some are more obvious than others, but we all have them and we have to choose whether or not we let them define us. Lord knows Santana and I have had enough scars for a lifetime. No matter how I feel about her, I have to think about the potential of adding another scar to my list. Santana is risky. I know I told Abby she's worth that risk and I really do believe that, but it's different somehow now that it would be me risking everything.

I dialed a number and waited for an answer.

"Quinn?"

"Hi, Rachel. Can you meet me somewhere?"

"In your apartment? Sure. I think I can walk back across the hall. I'm not that much of a diva."

"I'm not at the apartment. I'm at a hotel," I updated.

"Why are you at a hotel?"

"Can you just get here and I can explain when I see you?"

"I guess, yeah. Where's Santana?"

"Please, Rachel. Just get here and don't tell Santana where you're going if you see her and maybe don't tell Kurt either."

"Okay…" She sounded confused. "Where are you?"

I let Rachel into the room and sat back down on the bed. She took the desk chair and just stared at me for a minute while I was trying to figure out what to say.

"Quinn, what's going on? Are you okay? Why are you staying in a hotel?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? Did something happen? Why are we here? Where is Santana?"

"Hold on, Rachel. Okay? Just give me a second."

She leaned back in the chair and crossed her arms. I took a deep breath.

"Santana and I… we've been…"

"I knew it!" She shouted in victory and stood. "You two _are_ together. I was right. Kurt thought she loved you, but you didn't feel the same way. What about Abby? Was she cheating on her with you or you with her? Wait, that last part doesn't make sense because you knew all about her. Wait, are you the mistress? Are you getting some kind of sick gratification out of doing things behind Abby's back because that is not okay, Quinn?!"

"Sit down, Berry." I motioned with my hand and shook my head.

"God, you're even talking like Santana now. What happened to Rachel?"

She sat.

"We're not together. We _were_ doing things." I paused to await her reaction, but she was still and her face unchanged. "We were having sex… a lot of sex. Like daily sex. Nightly too."

"I thought you were together so that's not exactly shocking news, but what's going on? Why are you here now? Is it because of Abby or did Santana do something?"

"She told me she loved me today." She didn't move or react. "Rachel, Santana fucking Lopez, my best friend forever is apparently in love with me."

"So? You love her too. What's the problem?"

"How do you know I love her too?"

She leaned forward in her chair and put her hands on her knees imploring me to take her seriously.

"Quinn, most of the time I am in awe of you. You're beautiful and smart and you have this whole life planned out for yourself that I know is going to work out because you're Quinn Fabray."

"Thanks, I think…" I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"But sometimes, I thank God I am not you."

"You going to wrap this pep talk up anytime soon, _Rachel_?" I emphasized her first name and fell back against the pillow.

"You over complicate things. Specifically, you overcomplicate relationship things. You make everything more difficult than it has to be for some reason. It doesn't have to be like that. You can just love someone and someone can love you back and you can be together." She moved to sit next to me on the bed. "When you're with Santana, how does it feel?"

"I don't want to do this right now. I think I just want to fall asleep for a few years or maybe drink for a few years."

"Why did you ask me to meet you here?"

"Because I needed someone to talk too about this and the person I would normally do that with-"

"Is Santana."

"Yes."

"Then, answer my question."

"I feel happy when I'm with her, which it weird because she used to be such a pain in the ass to be around all the time."

"What's changed?"

I leaned up.

"She has. She's different now. She's just… she's…I don't know why."

"She's different because of you and you're different because of her." I looked at her trying to make her continue because I didn't really know what to say anymore. "Quinn, you've changed each other. That's kind of a big deal, don't you think?"

"It's only been a few months. Whatever she feels… whatever I feel… it's only been a few months."

"And in that time, Kurt and I have talked about you two at least a thousand times. Santana changed a little when she moved in with us, but she's changed a lot since then. I've seen her look at you when you're not paying attention and I don't think I ever really heard her laugh in high school unless it was at some insult she had thrown out and thought extra funny. She's been laughing a lot these days. Except the past couple of weeks. She's been kind of down the past couple of weeks. What happened?"

I put two and two together.

"We stopped what we were doing so she could be with Abby."

"Well, that was dumb. Clearly, it's you that she wants," Rachel stated and sat back in her chair with her arms crossed. "Look, you and I have had our problems. Santana and I have had our problems. You and Santana have had your problems, but that's all in the past. I think we've all grown up a lot this past year and even though Santana still calls me horrible names and she continues to add to that list daily, she was really there for me when I needed her. You were there for me too and you've both been there for each other more than once. What's the worst thing that could happen if you actually admit you're crazy about her and want to be with her?"

"If I lost her, I don't know-" I stopped myself. It was too hard to finish that sentence.

"I'm not going to say that Santana Lopez is the most stable person in the world when it comes to this stuff, but I will say that if she told you how she felt given what happened with Brittany, that should tell you something. I don't think she's going anywhere, Quinn, but you have to talk to her. Whether you want to try with her or not, you have to explain whatever she needs to hear. You at least owe her that much, but I think it's clear you know how you feel. You just have to decide if it's worth the risk." She paused while I contemplated. "Can I ask you a question?"

"I guess."

"Are you… I mean have you always…"

"Rachel? Really? You're asking me that now?"

"Well, I think it's a pretty good time to ask that since you just told me you've been having a whole lot of sex with a girl, Quinn."

"I don't know what I am and I haven't always, okay?"

"Haven't always liked girls or haven't always liked Santana?"

"Santana's the only girl I've ever had feelings for. I don't know what that means and I've been looking back a lot recently trying to figure out when it all started for me and I don't know that I can pinpoint a moment since I've known her where it must have started, but I do think it's always been there… buried somewhere. Just waiting to-"

"Come out?" She punned and smirked.

Her phone rang and she took it from her bag.

"Is it her?" I asked both terrified and hopeful at the same time.

"No, it's Kurt." She answered and put it on speaker for my benefit. "Hey, Kurt."

"Rachel, where are you? You won't believe what just happened. Santana just came over and told me she told Quinn she loves her and Quinn didn't say anything back so she ran home and cried her eyes out. Well, she didn't tell me that last part because she's Santana, but her eyes were all blood shot so it was pretty obvious. I guess she fell asleep and woke up and was freaking out because it's late and Quinn's not there and she's not here and Santana's worried, but she won't call her because again, this is Santana and she's one stubborn bitch and-"

"Kurt, shut up for a second." I ordered.

"Quinn?"

"Is she okay?" I asked worried.

"She's heartbroken. I think she just left to hit up a liquor store."

I curled my body up into a ball.

"Tell her Quinn's fine. She's with me," Rachel explained.

"Kurt?"

"Yeah, Quinn?"

"Was she really crying?"

"She realized she's in love with her best friend in the whole world who she's also been having sex with. She has the courage to actually tell you after everything she went through and you don't feel the same way. What do you think, Quinn?"

The thought of Santana crying over me made me feel like I was the worst person in the world. No matter what we put each other through in the past, this girl had become my world these past few months. She bought me a dresser and a bookshelf and those bears that hug each other when we went to Coney Island for the day when I first got here. She always made the coffee in the morning because she knew I hated doing it because it was an old machine with filters and I'm "pretentious" as she says and I like my Keurig machine. She then went out and bought a Keurig machine, which I knew was expensive and stocked it with the flavored stuff she didn't really drink, but she knew I loved. She gives me shoulder massages when she notices I'm hunched over a book too long and always buys my favorite orange-pineapple juice at the deli on her way home from work so it will be there for me in the morning. How the hell did I let her run away?

"Kurt, just tell Santana she's fine. I think she needs time to think." Rachel told Kurt and then hung up the phone.

"I don't need to think. I just need a cab."


	35. Chapter 35

Thanks again for all the reviews, PMs, favorites, etc. Hope I made up for any medical conditions I may have brought on yesterday with that first chapter. No more dreams, I promise.

Santana's POV:

After talking and trying to conceal the fact that I had been crying from Kurt, I walked down the street to the nearest open place that sold alcohol. I wasn't picky. I just wanted to grab a bottle of whatever would get me drunk the fastest. We only had beer in the apartment and only 2 bottles at that. Those would not serve my purpose of obliterating my senses. Vodka usually did the trick. I showed my fake ID and paid the guy behind the counter and walked back to the apartment. I caught a glimpse of a couple holding hands and laughing on the other side of the street and the tears almost fell again, but then I soaked them up in anger and walked the rest of the way home.

When I got to my front door, Hummel was there.

"What do you know, Hummel?" I unlocked the door and walked in carrying my brown paper bag that I knew made me look like a raging alcoholic, but better that than actually feeling what I'm feeling right now.

He walked right in, which I did not appreciate considering I was getting ready to pour my first of many anticipated drinks for the night.

"She's with Rachel. She's staying at a hotel tonight."

"Oh." I don't know what I was expecting. My love fever dream was just that. The reality was that Q needed to get away from me and ran to a hotel with a hobbit just to avoid telling me that I'm a crazy person for falling for her when there was no chance of her falling back.

I thought back on that dream for a moment. I could still feel her wrapped around me. It all felt so real, which just made the pain worse when I realized it wasn't.

"What can I do, Santana? I feel like this is partly my fault. I'm the one that told you to tell her." He stood with his hands turned up as if he could hold the weight of my broken heart in them. I knew he felt bad, but I was in no mood to carry his feelings too and I needed to express _something_; anger was usually right there on the fiery surface so I went with that.

"It is your fault. It's your fault and it's Abby's fault and Brittany's fault and its fucking love's fault and now I've lost another best friend and I'm going to be alone forever. So, thanks for that, Oscar fucking Wilde." I walked to the kitchen to pop the top off the vodka bottle. I looked around for a moment and I saw those damn bears I insisted on buying at Coney Island. I remembered how I wanted to actually win her something, but it was cheaper just to buy those things instead. Plus, winning at those games takes time. I am not the most patient person in the world and I really just wanted to get back to the apartment to engage in other activities.

"Did you just call me Oscar Wilde?" Kurt brought me back to reality.

"I'm an emotional train wreck right now and you know how much I despise emotions and you're pissed about me calling you a fucking name like that's the first time I've ever done that?" I took a long drink straight from the bottle. I had considered pouring it into a shot glass, but the nearest one on the counter was the one Quinn bought me to replace the one she broke during a drinking game we played while watching America's Next Top Model. Anytime someone said "fierce" or "smizing" we would drink and Quinn slammed her glass down rather hard and broke it. She felt so bad, she bought me a new one the next day at some tourist shop and it had a picture of the Empire State Building on it. I stared at the glass for a second before looking around. God, practically everything in this damn place is hers including me.

"It's just weird that you know who Oscar Wilde is." He folded his arms into his chest and leaned against the counter.

"Screw it, let's just get all my secrets out. I'm about to get hammered so I probably won't remember this conversation anyway. I wanted Quinn to stay here so bad that I stole her damn laptop one night and found what I needed so that I could re-apply _for_ her to Columbia. Her essay was still there so I just changed the date and sent it all in. I haven't heard back yet, but I'm sure she got in because she's pretty much the smartest person in the world. That used to drive me nuts, but I like it now. Damn it, I like that she's so fucking smart because she makes me smarter by association. I did that. I applied for her and still had no fucking clue apparently that I did it because the thought of her being three hours away everyday made me consider moving to New Haven just to be… near her. I love New York. I love it here and I want to live here for a long time, but if she told me tomorrow she was moving to, well anywhere, I'd go with her if she wanted me too. I'd seriously pack up my shit and hop on a plane." I paused to take a breath. "I also applied to NYU for the spring because I can't keep just pouring drinks and cleaning up after the drunk people I serve forever. I want more and having her here has made me see that." I paused to take another breath so I could admit yet another embarrassing secret. "Oh and whenever Q reads a book, I read the book. I just wait until she's out or I buy it from Amazon and read it on my computer when she's asleep. It's been fucking hard too because she reads_ every_ book. Whenever she gets back from the bookstore or the library, I suddenly get homework and I'm not even the one in school right now. It's fucking ridiculous and that's one good thing about this not happening. I no longer have to read a million books a week to feel like I actually deserve to be in the same damn room with her."

"You applied to Columbia for me?" I looked toward the door and she was standing there with Rachel in tow. Something else Abby and Q have in common; those damn ninja skills. I guess she arrived just early enough to hear my whole damn secret revealing speech. Figures.

"Um… Kurt, do you want too…" Rachel started.

"Yeah, we've got that thing to do with that… Ah hell, as much as I'd love to see what happens next, we're just going to leave you two alone."

They quickly escaped the awkward and slid the door closed behind them. Quinn was standing completely still near the front door. My grip was on the neck of the bottle and if I squeezed any harder from fear and nervousness, I'd be pulling shards of glass out of my hand.

"Do you really read my books?" She asked in her sweet, church girl voice I used to loathe because I knew she only used it when she wanted something, but I had grown to love it now that she wasn't using it to manipulate people.

I gulped.

"It started with that _Lost City_ one. It sounded lame, but when you got here for the summer, I saw it on the shelf so I picked it up one morning while you were asleep. I actually kind of liked it. The ending sucked. I don't like it when I don't know what happens after I've read like 200 pages," What is it about this girl that suddenly had me rambling about a stupid book?

She took a step toward me. Oh, that's what it is. There's some kind of Quinn magnet effect that happens when she's within 5 feet of me that forces me to be honest and stupid and share things I don't like or want to share.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Her voice was even softer. It sounded like it always did each morning when she used to whisper things in my ear in an attempt to get me to wake up and make her coffee.

"I don't know. It was lame. I'm just a bartending college drop out. I wanted to be able to talk to you about things you care about sometimes, but every time I almost said something, I went back to the part where it was lame that I was basically book stalking you." God, stop talking. You're Santana fucking Lopez. Get your shit together.

"No, I mean about Columbia. Why didn't you tell me about Columbia?" Her voice told me she wasn't angry. I thought she would get upset with me for that one.

"Because I wanted to wait until you got in first. Then I'd take you out to celebrate you moving to the city and ask you to just officially move into the apartment because I've gotten used to having you here. I figured we'd just get another bed if us in the same one made you uncomfortable or if you started dating someone or if Abby started staying over and now that just all sounds ridiculous because really I wanted you to live here with me and sleep in that bed with me and cook dinner with me and watch stupid reality TV with me and trade that damn sweatshirt back and forth with me." She smiled and apparently I felt like I needed to make things worse for some reason. "Have I ever told you how amazing your smile is, Q? And those eyes, they drive me crazy sometimes because it's like you see right through me and _no one_ sees through me."

She took a step toward me and then another.

"I don't see through you, Santana. I just see all of you."

Her hand was over mine on the bottle and my heart thundered in my chest. Her other hand covered it as if she could hear the storm and was attempting to keep it quelled inside my body.

"Q?"

My hand wouldn't let go of the bottle until she took her finger and slid it up my wrist. The dream I had earlier was nothing compared to this feeling and if this is a dream too, then I don't ever want to wake up.

"Let it go, Santana. You don't need it."

I let go of the bottle and she held onto my hand while her other one went around my neck and her forehead pressed against mine. I could feel her breath against my lips and I could no longer contain what was going on inside my body. I had to say it again.

"God, I love you. I'm so sorry I ran out earlier. You just didn't say anything and I couldn't stand there if you were going to tell me that you didn't feel the same way. I should've stayed because I didn't know how you feel and-" I tried to explain, but I really just rambled.

"If you shut up for a second, I can tell you," She whispered somehow over the top of that rambling. I stared into her eyes. "When I said 'oh my God' earlier at the library, it was because you took me by complete surprise and when I went to the hotel and talked with Rachel, it was because I needed to work things through. Now, I know something definitively that I was unsure I could handle before."

"What?" I questioned hopefully while staring into those eyes and seeing myself reflected back in them. I wasn't afraid anymore.

"I love you, dumb ass."


	36. Chapter 36

Quinn's POV:

"Why didn't you say anything earlier when I was pouring my soul out to you?" She rightfully queried.

"Because I may be smart when it comes to school, but this is a foreign concept to me. I don't know how to do this. Love hasn't exactly been on my side and I just didn't know if I could try because losing you would be too hard. And cut me some damn slack, Santana. I thought you were in love with someone else a few hours ago. I spent the whole day trying to get the two of you together even though it hurt me because I thought it would make you happy and that was all I wanted."

"I was never in love with her. I liked her, but I think the only reason I liked her so much was because of how much she reminded me of you. Kurt helped me through this earlier because I was oblivious, but I think she reminded me of you and that I needed… this sounds bad and she didn't deserve this, but I think I needed like a practice round."

"A practice round?" I smiled at her.

"I told you before that you're my Q. You have always been important to me even if I didn't understand why until very recently. It was like I needed to try to see if I could do this relationship thing again so soon after what happened with Brittany. It was like I needed to make sure I could do it before I could try with you because this is too important for me to mess up."

Her arms finally remembered how to move and they wrapped themselves around my waist and pulled me closer. My head was against her neck and we were hugging the most important and amazing hug of my life. I finally moved back to face her. She smiled at me and pushed hair back behind my ear causing my eyes to close and my smile to spread.

"So, we were alike, huh? Do I have to worry about you two since she and I are so similar?" I smirked at her.

She had this intense look of sincerity.

"You never have anything to worry about, baby. God, even when it was just sex, I belonged to you. I just didn't know it yet."

"I love it when you call me baby like that." I took her hands in mine and walked us over to the bed. I lay down and she slid up next to me. She leaned in and I wrapped my entire body around her nuzzling into her neck and breathing her in.

"I'll call you baby forever if you let me, Fabray. I seriously love you."

"I love you too." I loved saying it out loud.

On my silent cab ride with Rachel, I had practiced my speech in my head running through it over and over while I nervously watched the cab driver move me closer to her block by block. I wanted to say so much more than just those three words since this would be the first time I'd ever really gotten to say them with actual meaning behind them. I wanted to tell her about how I clutched that sweatshirt nightly or that whenever she's near me, I suddenly get nervous. I wanted her to know that I loved listening to her talk about her crazy customers at the bar because I loved hearing her describe people like her description was the only one that mattered in the world. I wanted to tell her that I loved cooking for her and that I loved writing her those post-it notes when I knew I'd be spending time away from her because I needed to communicate with her in some way just to feel sane. I wanted to tell her that I had made up my mind a long time ago about moving to New York and only a part of that decision was made because of school. I wanted to tell her so many things, but I guess those three words are the only words that really matter right now or ever.

I thought she would make a move and kiss me, but she didn't. She just stayed in her position and stared at me with the most beautiful face I'd ever seen her show me. Her eyes lit up. She was happy and she was happy because of me. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore.

"Are you going to fucking kiss me now or what, Lopez?"

She smirked and leaned in. I could taste the salt from her tears as she gently touched her lips to mine. I pulled back.

"I'm so sorry I made you cry, San." I cupped her cheek.

She took my bottom lip between hers and let it go.  
"It's worth it if I get you… like this."

She kissed me more deeply and I could feel her tongue reach for mine and I gave in as she moved on top of me in one fluid motion. My arms went around her neck and I could feel her press into me. This feeling was different than any I had ever experienced. I finally knew what everyone was talking about. She must have felt me thinking because she lifted her head and looked down at me perplexed.

"What are you thinking about? Do you want to slow down or stop cause we can wait?"

"I was just thinking that I finally get it." I smiled.

"Get what, beautiful?" She kissed my forehead.

"What all the fuss is about? This first love thing is pretty amazing."

She smiled and kissed me again.

"I don't just want to be your first. I don't know how it's possible and if asked, I will never admit saying this to either Hummel or Berry because I would never hear the end of it, but I think I met my soul mate years ago and never knew it. I've never felt this way, Quinn."

"What about with Brit-"

She cut me off with a light peck to my lips.

"I meant what I said. I've never felt this way, baby." She confirmed.

I kissed her this time. This girl who I've known for the better part of my life may actually be my forever.

"Wait!" I announced.

What? Why am I waiting? What the hell is wrong with me?

She lifted herself up and straddled me with a look of concern on her face.

"You want to take things slow, don't you?" She always gets me even when we're fighting or we're apart for a long time, she always gets me.

"I know it's ridiculous; lame even. I guess I really am a prude, huh? It's not like I don't want too and it's not like it's our first time. I'm just being stupid."

She moved to lie down next to me and placed her hand on my stomach over my shirt.

"You're not being stupid and we_ both_ know you are no longer a prude, Quinn Fabray. We should do things differently this time though. We shouldn't start with sex. We should lead up to it. I want to lead up to things with you and do this how we would do this if we had just met. I don't want us to miss out on any of those experiences just because we've already done things or because we've known each other forever. Let me take you on a date."

I laughed.

"A date, huh? Now, who's being lame?"

"I am never lame. I am being romantic, Fabray. Don't get used to it."

"Don't worry, I won't. I like it when you're my feisty Lima Heights girl." I rolled over on my side and placed my hands under my head.

"Adjacent," She corrected. "Let me take you out. I want us to have a real first date story to tell when we're old and boring so we have to tell the tales from our young, hot glory days."

"Who are we telling this story too exactly?"

She squinted her eyes at me as I smirked at her. She knew where I was going with this.

"We haven't even had a first date yet, girl. You sure you want to hear my idea of our life together because I've had like the entire afternoon to consider what might have been after you didn't say anything in that library? I've got pretty much the whole thing planned out now. You sure it's not too soon? I remember how you thought I wanted to move to Yale with you after our first time and you had a momentary freak out so you had to make sure to mention that it was just a one-time thing, ya big liar."

I smiled at her and closed my eyes.

"Tell me," I commanded.

She took her fingers and brushed the pads gently against my face over and over.

"You're going to Columbia because you love it and because I can't stand you being three hours away and you'll graduate with _all _the honors because you're you. I'm going to get into NYU's music program, but I'll be a few years behind you, which is fine because you're going to grad school too."

"I am?"

"Yeah, I'm going to be a starving artist so you'll need to get all educated so you can get a good job and make that paper."

I chuckled without opening my eyes. I could feel her staring at me and I could tell she was smiling as her fingers continued to dance across my skin.

"So, I'm your sugar mama?"

"Okay first, the way you just said that was adorable and second, it's just until I record my first album and start making my tour money."

"I love when you perform. Keep talking. I like it so far." She didn't say anything for a second. "San?" I went to open my eyes, but she placed her hand over them gently.

"Keep them closed for this part."

"Okay?"

"Remember, you asked for my plan." She paused and her voice shifted to a shaky whisper. "One day and it won't be tomorrow so don't try to tell me that this is only a thousand time thing now, but one day I'm going to ask you to marry me." It took everything in me to keep my eyes closed. I knew she could feel my breath stop. "I'll know you're going to say yes until right before I actually ask and then I'll freak the fuck out thinking maybe I'm crazy; that this whole thing was a dream because there's no way this perfect girl would want to be with me forever, but then you'll say yes because you know I'm amazing and that even though I am not perfect, I am perfect for you." She paused. "Still love it?" There was fear in her voice as her fingers trembled against my skin. I moved my arms so they were under her shirt and gliding across her back because I knew that action always calmed her; made her feel safe. I felt the tension in her body leave as my hands stilled.

"We haven't even been on a date yet and you're already proposing?" I joked hoping that would also help calm her fear that I would run at the thought of marrying her.

"You wish." And her confidence was back.

"Continue." I leaned in to rest my forehead against hers.

"Our wedding will be perfect except for the part where Berry sings because we can't tear the microphone out of her damn man hands."

"I'm surprised you're even inviting her."

"_I_ didn't. You did."

"Oh, of course." I shrugged my shoulders and my hands went back under my head.

"It's been a very long day and you're obviously about to fall asleep now, so I'm going to wrap this up so I can watch you do that because I love watching you do that and not in a creepy way, but in that adorable, romantic way people always talk about. We'll be super rich obviously so we'll have a place here, but another one somewhere in the burbs."

"Why are we living in the burbs, baby?" I asked sleepily relishing in the fact that I get to call her baby.

"For those damn kids we're going to have. The boy and the girl, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember. Two kids, huh? What happened to the Santana Lopez who just wanted to move from girl to girl and leave the feelings at the door?"

She kissed my forehead and whispered.

"She fell in love with Quinn Fabray."

The End

I know some of you may be thinking, "What the hell? Why would you end it there? It's really just the beginning." I'm not a big fan of dragging a thing out beyond its natural ending point. I should also probably admit now that I've had this story written since before I posted the first chapter and it was fun/interesting to see what your thoughts were on the progression compared to what I had already written. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I will leave you with one final note: To epilogue or not to epilogue? I'll let you all decide.


	37. Epilogue

Here's my vision of their future and yes, I had this part written too. This was my first adventure in fanfiction writing and I had no idea what to expect with this story. I really only wrote it for myself because I needed to get the words on the page. Thank you all for taking the time to read it and for putting up with my cliffhangers. I only hope that if I decide to write another Quinntana story it can live up to your expectations.

Epilogue:

Santana's POV:

My tongue danced in her mouth. Even after all these years, I still loved the way we kissed. I never wanted to stop kissing this girl. Well, she's not really a girl anymore. She's most definitely a woman who also happens to be the love of my life. I realized we were in public, so I pulled back despite wanting to take things further. I hadn't seen my woman in a month and I definitely missed everything about her.

"I missed you, baby." Quinn whispered against my lips.

"I missed you too, love." I kissed her lightly. "You're never allowed to go on a book tour again."

"Next time, you'll just come with me." She moved her arms from around my neck and placed them around my waist instead.

"Tell your money hungry agent to schedule your next one when I'm not in school."

"That shouldn't be a problem since you'll be done with school soon and I'm not going on another book tour until I finish another book, which I won't do until after I'm done finalizing wedding plans."

I looked at her with a face that said I was both confused and excited.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I think it's about time. Don't you?"

I kissed her again and pulled her in for the hug I had been missing for a month. We had been engaged for two years. I had proposed like I had promised I would right before her book was released. I knew she was nervous about how it would perform. She was a young first time author after all at 22 and the publisher had told her that if the book didn't do well, they'd pretty much drop her. I considered burning down their offices with them inside, but decided to propose instead; killing two birds with one stone. I got to be the one to put a ring on Quinn Fabray's finger and I took her mind off of the release all night long by giving her another kind of release over and over again.

When the book did well, she went on her first book tour. I went with her because it was summer and I was off from school. I didn't even try to get into NYADA. Turns out, I was made for music, but in a different way than I originally thought. I ended up at NYU and found their music program. Specifically, I found producing. It was the right call on Quinn's part that I take a class about the behind the scenes stuff because producing allowed me to arrange music and still perform when I wanted at the same time. I'd been taking classes part-time and working in-between. I was a few credits shy of my degree and I decided to take one summer class just to wrap it up instead of waiting for the fall.

"You've been putting wedding planning off for so long now, I was worried you had reconsidered." I smiled at her as I took her bag off her shoulder and we began walking out of Grand Central hand in hand.

"I just wanted to be able to plan it_ with_ you and not be in the middle of putting out a book, baby. You know I want to marry you."

"Still inviting Berry? Cause_ I_ may reconsider if you do?"

She laughed at me.

"Yes, Rachel's going to be a bridesmaid. You know that."

"Yeah, yeah. We're still hiding the microphone."

"I was thinking either Mercedes or Alexa would be one too. I miss Mercedes when she's on tour."

Mercedes had made her way to New York along with Artie and Brit. Artie was on his way to Sundance with a movie he'd made, Mercedes was on her 3rd album and tour and Brittany was touring with her this time. Finn was here too and we had to hang out with him from time to time when we were with Rachel. They're still doing the on and off thing, but I'm sure Q will be a bridesmaid in their wedding eventually.

"Brittany and Abby for me obviously. Wait. Would that be weird for you? We haven't really talked about this yet with you always putting it off."

"No. I'm good. They're your closest friends, San."

"They're also my exes."

"Your exes who both have very serious currents. Abby's will most likely be standing on my side of the aisle and they've been together almost as long as we have. I'm just waiting for the two of them to tell us we're going to be bridesmaids."

"We really were pretty smart hooking those two up. Turns out, I actually like Alexa when she's not trying to get in your pants."

" God, that was so long ago, baby. Let it go. We were smart though. Besides that, I'm not worried about you with them because you want me or you wouldn't have kissed me like that a minute ago, Lopez."

"Wait until we get home. We'll be doing a lot more than kissing, Fabray."

We arrived home and I opened the door for her because I wanted to control my surprise. I made her wait outside our place, which was a 2 bedroom in SOHO we could afford because Quinn's second book did so well and she had already received an advance on her third. The second bedroom was currently her office or really a book depository and I found myself in that room often whenever she was gone for work constantly playing catch up to her favorite authors and stories. At least now, we would talk about them instead of me just pretending to be dumb.

When I finally let her walk in, she took in the sight. The lights were dim and the flameless candles I had placed around the entire space lit up our amazing home that we had painstakingly decorated together. There were red roses on every surface and there were more on the bed in our room.

"Baby… you didn't have to do this," She announced to the room as she took it in again. I took her hands in mine and stared into those eyes I had missed for a month; the ones that always saw all of me and loved me anyway.

"I love you. I want you to know that I miss you when you're gone. I'm always thinking about you even when I'm thinking about other things. I'm so glad you're home and I can't wait for us to start planning our damn wedding after all this time." I paused. "I know you've been busy, but do you remember what today is?"

"Should I? I'm sorry. It was a 6 hour flight and my brain isn't working right."

"Five years ago today I told you I loved you for the first time and you scared the shit out of me when you didn't say anything back."

"You're never letting me live that one down, are you?"

I laughed as I lightly kissed her and moved my hands around her back and under her shirt that was really my NYU shirt that she always brought with her when she traveled and I'd see her wearing periodically when we would Face Time or Skype.

"Never."

"I'm still sorry I made you cry, San."

"I know and I told you it was worth it if I got to have you like this and that is still true."

"I have a confession to make," She announced while squinting her eyes and giving me her worried face. Now, I was nervous.

"What?"

"I didn't forget what today was, San. I just wanted to give you a hard time. Here." She removed a tiny box from her back pocket. She still had those ninja skills because I hadn't noticed it before and I was pretty sure I had my hands all over her earlier.

"You're a devil, Fabray."

"A devil who's giving you a gift. Open it," She commanded while inserting it in my hand. It was the size of a ring box, but I already had an engagement ring and we'd picked out our wedding rings along with them two years ago so I wasn't sure what this was. I opened the box and was immediately confused.

"Um… baby, are you asking me to move in with you cause we're already doing that?" I asked her while looking down at a single key in the small box.

She took the key out of the box and set the box on the table next to us. She held it in front of my face and put her other arm around my waist.

"My 25th birthday is coming up."

"Yes, I know that."

"And what comes along with my 25th birthday, baby?" She asked.

"Your trust fund?" I answered with a questioning tone hoping I was right, but I was still confused.

"All the money my parents set aside, threatened not to give me because of Beth, then threatened not to give me because of you, but we got that all worked out, will finally be our money."

"What's with the key, Q?"

"That house we rented for a week last summer at the shore… it's our house now. I bought it. Well, I used part of my advance for the down payment and the trust fund will pay for the rest."

I smiled at her and took the key so she could put her other arm around my waist.

"You bought us a house?"

"Is that okay? I know I should have asked you, but you loved that place and it's not technically in what I'd call the burbs, but it pretty much is and it's not in the city and it's by the beach and-"

"You don't have to sell me on this, Quinn. I did love that place and I love that you did this for us."

"Good. I was thinking we'd go this weekend then and christen it."

I smirked and set the key on the table so I could move my hands around her neck and pull her in.

"What exactly did you have in mind?" I asked.

"I could show you."

She kissed me deeply this time and found my tongue with hers.

"Take this off now." She tried to pull my shirt up. I let her. It had been a month and as much as I wanted a romantic moment with my baby after spending all that time and money decorating this damn place to make it special and listening to her talk about this new house we would share, I also really just wanted her under me in our bed.

"When I'm done with school, we should take that road trip you wanted to go on."

I lifted her shirt off and tossed it to the floor. I pulled her toward our room.

"That was forever ago, San."

"And you didn't go because we were starting our thing and you had just gotten into Columbia and had to plan your move and transfer and we're buying a house and getting married, baby."

I kissed her as she flopped on her own onto the bed and started unzipping her jeans.

"I'm aware of that, Santana."

I helped her pull them off and just stared at her for a second. I continued to be in awe of this woman every time I see her like this.

"What happens after?" I asked her.

"After what? After we're married?" She seemed to not understand my question.

I pulled off the remainder of my clothes and walked up to the edge of the bed and leaned down on top of her. We slid back toward the pillows together and my hand moved up and down her stomach. Without much fanfare, she removed her underwear and bra and threw them off the bed. I could tell she was getting impatient. Hell, so was I.

"Yes, after we're married… what happens?" I kissed her neck while her arms wrapped around my body pulling me closer. God, I missed how she smelled.

"Then, you're really stuck with me."

I laughed into her ear and kissed her earlobe. Her hand began to slide around and head south.

"I was looking for something like 'we'll live happily ever after' there, Q. I want us to road trip or do something fun before the wedding and I still want a perfect honeymoon. I want all of it because once we have those kids we're pretty much locked in for the next 18 years. I want more adventures with you before then."

Her hand stopped and she looked up at me as I leaned back straddling her.

"You said you wanted to wait to talk about that? You said and I quote, 'we're 24 baby, we shouldn't waste our hot 20 something bodies on kids.'"

"First of all, I love when you quote me back to me. Second of all, I'm not saying I want us to get pregnant tomorrow. I'm just saying I'm thinking about this stuff especially when I miss you and I want to clue you in."

Her hand started to move again and she cupped my center as I leaned back down.

"Miss me, huh?" She asked with a cocky smirk on her face. So much for my romantic rose petals.

"Maybe."

"After you graduate, we'll go on our road trip." She swiped at my clit with her thumb and gently pushed two fingers inside my body. She really was impatient. Fine by me.

"Mmm… I do miss how you always know what I want."

She moved her hips up with her fingers inside me to get me to start movements of my own. I leaned in and kissed her while rocking my body against her. I couldn't wait any longer. I missed touching her. My hand moved between our bodies and I found her entrance. I timed pushing my fingers into her with a thrust of my hips.

"Jesus!" She exclaimed.

"Baby, you're so tight."

"Yeah, it's been a while, San. Just fuck me, baby."

I swear I could come just by listening to her foul mouth.

Quinn's POV:

"God, I missed that." She rolled off of me and onto her side facing me while I was still coming down from my high and staring at the ceiling.

"Me too. Phone sex is not the same thing," I affirmed.

She laughed as she curled into me and my arm went around her while my free hand started playing with her hair, something I knew she loved.

"So, how many girls hit on you on this tour? I need to know how many bodies I have to bury."

I laughed while twirling her hair. My first book was the story of two girls falling in love in a dystopian society where sexual orientation is not a thing. It wasn't about Santana and I. It was just that given that my sole experience with love was with another woman, it was what I wrote about. I never expected to get it published, but Santana being Santana submitted it for me because she does that.

After it was published, I developed a following from a certain group of women and they liked to come to the signings and some of them would ask to marry me even though I already had the beautiful engagement ring my baby had given me right there on my finger. Apparently knowing that my baby was a woman jut encouraged them on in their advances.

"At least 100, but I think they deserve to live considering I'm here with you and not with any of them. Oh, a couple of them did offer to have my babies so you may have to get in line."

"Names and addresses, Q." She leaned up on her elbow and looked at me with her serious face. I just winked and smiled at her and motioned for her to put her head back on my chest.

"I can't believe it's already been five years, San." I closed my eyes partly from exhaustion and partly from wanting to run through a highlight reel of our best couple moments in my brain.

"Five years, three apartments, two college degrees for you my little over achiever, almost one for me because I'm a classic under achiever, an engagement, a trip to tell our parents about us that we managed to survive, a five year reunion in Lima that you made me go too, a couple of fights here and there because you're crazy, and two books for you. Speaking of which, what's the next one going to be about? I know you want to plan the wedding, but that's not exactly a full-time thing so I'm guessing you'll be doing a little writing in that office while I sit there trying to catch up on the books you read while you were away."

"I was thinking about making this one non-fiction."

"Yeah? You love that true story crap."

"I kind of have to talk to you about it first though."

She leaned back on her elbow while drawing shapes on my stomach with her fingers.

"Why?"

"Because I want to write about us."

It took her a minute, but I saw the smile finally come through.

"Us?"

"Yeah, I want to write about how we met and fought and acted stupid, but found our way here somehow."

"Really, baby?"

"Yeah, but you have to be okay with it or I won't do it."

"I love that idea, Q. I'd love it if you wrote our story."

"Well, I figured it would make it easier when we're old and telling the story of how we met to the kids and the grand kids. It'll be written down. We can just hand it to them and let them read it and hit the road in an RV or something."

She leaned in and kissed me again.

"If that's the case, we're going to need a PG version, because I'm not okay with our offspring finding out about our first drunken hook-up or really any of our bedroom activities for that matter."

I rolled on top of her.

"So shy all the sudden, love."

"You're lucky I love you so damn much so I'm gonna let that comment go, Lucy Q."

"How about I make it up to you by letting you write the sex scenes in the R-rated version?"

"It would be even better if you'd just reenact them with me now. Come here."

I kissed her again before pulling back to meet her deep brown eyes.

"I'm going to love you forever, Santana Lopez."

"You better because I've already loved you forever."


End file.
